Sectumsem
by aBoyWillDo
Summary: First shot at H/D slash. What happens if Harry and Draco's HBP metting in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom had gone differently? Cliched, but fluffy warmness and romance are inside. Warnings for: smut, slash and mentions of abusive childhoods not graphic
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first shot at H/D slash. Constructive criticism is always appreciated.

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

Heart racing, I sat on my bed with the privacy curtains drawn tight. I am not obsessed, I told myself. Lying to my best friends doesn't mean I'm obsessed. Ron was still trapped in the Gryffindor common room with his studiously-minded Hermione. I had barely escaped. Hermione thought I was upstairs in my room studying, away from the obnoxious giggling of a just-kissed third year and her friends. Her _many_ friends. Ron was nowhere close to sold on the study lie; he thought I was wanking. I stared intently at the parchment in my lap, still trying to convince myself that indulging in the pastime was not proof of obsession. I was fending off the arguments of my inner-Hermione when I saw it. Draco Malfoy's tiny, black footprints stalked out of the Slytherin dungeons. I jumped up to grab my invisibility cloak. _This_ time I would beat Draco to the Room of Requirement. I was going to catch Draco and prove to Ron and Hermione that I was right.

Clutching the cloak tightly around me, I snuck past my friends and out the portrait hole. I almost didn't check the Map again, but I wanted to see if my path was clear of Snape and Filch. It was a good thing I looked; though Snape and Filch were on that seventh floor, Draco's footsteps were heading the opposite direction. I hurried along the corridors to catch up to the boy with whom I was definitely not obsessed. I smiled when I found myself facing the door to Moaning Myrtle's lavatory. "Mischief managed," I whispered while tucking the Map into a pocket. Still protected by the cloak I sucked my stomach in and squeezed through the door, opening it as little as possible.

Draco was on his knees (_in a lavatory?_) facing away from the door. I couldn't see his face, but it was quite evident by the sounds that he was crying. I was torn between spying and the unexpected urge to comfort. Draco rose unsteadily to his feet. I froze, thinking my footsteps had given me away, but the other boy didn't turn around. I watched in a mirror as Draco raised an arm like he was shielding his face and pointed his wand at himself. I was gobsmacked by what happened next.

"_Sectumsem-_" My seeker-reflexes dropped my cloak and disarmed Draco before the spell was finished. Draco whirled around, screaming unintelligible things. I saw red slashes across Draco's body before he collapsed in a sobbing heap. I briefly wondered how Draco even knew about the _sectumsempra _curse. Pushing the thought aside I sat and hauled the broken boy into my arms. Draco pushed and squirmed and fought. His frail frame accomplished little and finally leaned into me. I had no idea what to do. I whispered soothing words and idly stroked Draco's platinum hair which surprised me with its softness. Eventually concerned with the blood seeping through the rips of Draco's shirt onto my own, I sat the wounded Slytherin up.

Quietly I asked, "Can I look, please? I want to help."

"Tell me why you wouldn't let me just do this?" Draco choked out.

"It would have killed you," I responded incredulously.

Draco silently averted his eyes. Still wordless, he handed over a handkerchief (_who knew he carried one?_) and held out his forearm. The injury there looked more like minor cuts than gashes. With a corner of the handkerchief I cleaned up as best I could. I gestured for Draco to unbutton his tattered shirt. The blond balked; he seemed almost shame-faced. I suddenly felt disgusted with myself. How many times have I hoped to see him crumble? There is no joy in this. I reached for the buttons myself. Draco pulled away. He hugged himself. It must have been painful.

"You can't see. You can't see them," he whispered to me.

"I know they're there. I've seen what the cuts on your arm look like. It's okay to let me see." Was I being convincing? I didn't really know. I'd never done anything but argue with him. Well, argue and stare. Fine, argue and stare and follow. Oh, Merlin, I sound creepy.

"It's not that. No one can know what he did to me. You can't know what he did to me. I can't let you see." If I didn't know better, I'd say it sounded like he cared about my opinion of him. Did I know better? Everything was upside down. I wanted to hold and comfort Draco Malfoy of all people. I wanted him to trust me. To like me. I hadn't realized that last part until now, but it was true. I had all these crazy feelings in me. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to run my fingers through his hair. I wanted to make his pain go away. I wanted to trust him. I was starting to trust him.

"I understand. I do." Before I really stopped to think about it, I pulled my shirt over my head. I was going to tell him something I hadn't even told Ron. I pointed to a scar on my shoulder. "My uncle did this," I admitted. "He threw me against an iron fence post."

Draco shyly (_shyly?_) reached out to touch my arm. "I'm sorry." My heart somersaulted unexpectedly. His fingers shook when he tried to undo his buttons. I wanted to help, to make it easier for him, but I saw panic in his eyes. I sat there and let him take his time. I said nothing when I dabbed at his finally exposed chest with the handkerchief. I left the smattering of old scars that marred his side and snaked to his back alone. I cautiously cleaned him off; the thought of hurting him made me cringe. Draco pointed to a cluster of scars by his navel.

"Aunt Bellatrix _expelliarmus_ed me into rose bush when I was five. I didn't know I was holding her wand; I found it on the ground."

"I'm sorry," I said. Then I pointed to faint series of marks on the back of my hand. "Dudley stabbed me with a fork."

Draco ran his fingers along a criss-cross of ropey scars that wound from his side to his back. He looked away from me and whispered, "Whip marks."

I took his hand in mine. We sat in silence. I couldn't believe what we had shared. Tears welled up in my eyes when I thought about how much he was hurting. I had never hated Lucius so much. I hated him more now than I did that night in the Tri-Wizard graveyard or in the Department of Mysteries or when he tried to _avada kedavra _me for freeing Dobby. My whole body was hot. Where mine and Draco's hands were touching was burning, and not holding him felt wrong. He looked so lost.

"Say something, Potter," he half growled-half whimpered.

"What do you want me to say?"

"Whatever it is you're thinking. I've been waiting for you to stop playing nice and start laughing at me. To tell me that you think I'm pathetic. That I deserve this. That you wished you weren't here to save me."

"I don't think you're pathetic. You don't deserve this. And I'm glad I was here. Do you really want to know what I'm thinking about?" I waited for him to nod, took a breath, and leapt. "I'm wishing that you would come closer so I could hold you and keep you safe." With the same amount of warning that the Weasley twins give before a practical joke (which is to say none at all), he sprang into my lap and threw his arms around my neck. "I'm scared," I kept going. "I have butterflies in my stomach, and I don't know why. I didn't know I'd like the way you smell. I didn't know your skin was soft. I don't know why touching you makes me feel like I'm on fire. What's happening with us? Why are we sharing secrets? Why are you letting me do this?"

"I've wanted this for a long time, but I never thought you'd ever want it, too. Don't you feel connected? Even though we've only ever fought and I've called you names and you celebrated when Granger punched me in the face, it seems like somehow we're tied together. I know you probably think that when I stare at you I'm secretly plotting something evil, but I'm not. I'm curious about you. I want to know you. I want you to forget everything you think you know about me and give me a chance."

"What do you want to know about me?" I asked.

"Really? You'd tell me?" Though his eyes were red from tears, his face lit up.

"Yes."

"Thank you. But first, do you think you could maybe conjure some ointment or something? My chest really hurts." I had never heard him sound more sincere or more sheepish. I conjured up a jar and tried to hand it to him. He shook his head. Then he asked me to do it. He scooted back so I could reach. I tried to be careful, but he winced and shed silent tears anyway. A thick, scarred X marred his left shoulder. I let my fingers ghost across it.

"Draco?" He seemed startled to hear his first name.

"My father," he whispered, "with a branding iron."

Without thinking about it, I leaned over and kissed it. In that moment, everything changed. I started shaking; he stopped breathing. I was sure one of us was going to vomit. I half expected him to punch me. Instead, he buried his face into my neck and rained tears onto my shoulder. What's wrong with me? He was crying and I was thinking about how good he felt in my arms.

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to upset you. I wasn't thinking. Please, please don't cry."

I felt his warm lips on my neck. Wait. What? That can't be right. It was the trickle of a tear or my imagination or, oh Merlin, I felt it again. And it felt good. I tilted my head away to give him more room. He moved up. His breathy voice tickled my ear when he spoke.

"What's behind your ear?"

"Another scar. Dudley again. No one's ever noticed it before."

Draco licked it. He _licked_ the faint white line behind my ear. I didn't mean to make noise. I really didn't. It just kind of came out. It seemed to startle him, which is odd considering _he's_ the one who licked _me_. He sat back.

"Will you really answer my questions?"

"If you answer mine. Ask away."

"When did you find out you're the Boy-Who-Lived?"

"My eleventh birthday when Hagrid came to take me to Hogwarts. That's the day I found out I was a wizard. Did you always hate me and Ron and Hermione?"

"Sort of. Malfoys aren't supposed to like Weasleys. I never gave him a chance. Hermione was the first person who was ever smarter than I am. I was jealous. We were young; I didn't know how to take it in stride. My father always told me that we're better than Muggle-borns. I wasn't supposed to admit that she was better. You, well, I don't know how to explain you. Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?"

"No, I didn't. I was actually really upset about it. I didn't want to play. I was scared to play. My best friend wouldn't talk to me, and— and then I watched Cedric die. Are you really good at Potions or is Snape favoring you?"

"I'm actually good at Potions. Are you in love with the Weasley girl?"

"No, I'm not. We weren't," I paused to think of a way to phrase it, "good together. She wanted to throw herself at me, and I couldn't seem to make myself want her like that." I blushed. Why did I have to blush? "Do you have anyone that you actually confide in?"

"Not until now. Not until you. When you're surrounded by people who would sell you out without a second thought, you don't trust anyone. I don't know why I'm trusting you now, except you're the first person in a long time that's treated me like I'm worth something. Did you tell Weasley and Granger about where all your scars came from?"

"No. Hermione's smart. She probably figured it out, but she's never said anything about it. I don't think Ron wants to know. Look at his family, all bundles of sunshine. I don't think he could understand what it's like being from an abusive family." I knew what I wanted to ask next. I didn't know if I had a right to ask. I didn't want to break whatever we had going. It was fragile, but more real than anything I'd felt.

"Ask me. I know you want to. It's okay. Ask me."

"Why did you try to ki—curse yourself?"

"Because I'd rather kill myself now than be tortured to death when I can't do what He wants. Are you sorry you saved me?" He was surprisingly candid and calm despite his tears. I shook my head.

"What does he want you to do?"

"Are you asking me? Or is the Boy-Who-Lived asking me?"

"I'm asking. I don't want to be the hero of the Wizarding world. I'm only the Boy-Who-Lived when I'm surrounded by adults expecting me to save everyone."

"He wants me to kill someone. Someone important. And I can't. I don't think I could ever kill anyone. I don't want His side to win. My family's crazy for getting involved with him. And now we're all in so deep that I can't get out. I don't want to go back to the Manor. It's the new headquarters for the Dark Lord, but I don't have anywhere else to go. There's no one I can trust. I don't want to see my father who would kill me himself if I fail. But I can't do it. I just can't kill Albus Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore?" I gasped. "He wants _you _to kill Dumbledore?"

"Yes. I'm the one with easiest access, and with how deep my family's in with the Death Eaters, He didn't think I could refuse. Now run along and squeal on me if you must. In ten minutes I'm walking out of this damn castle." He started for the door. I couldn't let him leave.

"If I don't tell, will you stay? We'll fix this somehow. I want you to stay." He nodded. "Promise me you'll stay."

"I promise." With that, he picked up his wand and left. I stood there, dumbstruck, for quite awhile before putting on my cloak and slinking back to the Gryffindor tower.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: I'm glad the story got such a good response. Thank you for the reviews and favorites. Here is chapter 2. More on the way.

When I got back, I relived every word my conversation with Draco. I memorized the feel of my arms around him and his lips on my neck. I tortured myself with questions of why. Why did I kiss his shoulder? Why did he kiss my neck? Why did I like it so damn much? Why did he trust me? Why was I keeping his secret? When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of blond hair, pale skin, and a sense of finally being understood.

I woke far earlier in the morning than anticipated, considering how late I stayed up. I was at a loss for what to do. I didn't know if Draco wanted to see me again. I didn't know if I was brave enough to find out. I didn't want this new friendship? to end. I didn't want to tell Ron and Hermione; I wanted to revel in my secret. In the end, I decided to let Draco come to me. Mostly out of cowardice. I didn't know what to say to him. I was still trying to figure things out for myself as last night's vigorous thoughts had left me with no conclusions. I had all these feelings I didn't understand.

I thought about Draco's question about Ginny. I wasn't in love with her. I wasn't even in potential-love with her. It just seemed like it was bound to happen, that it was expected of us. I thought about the first time we kissed. It was awkward. She didn't seem to notice. She was oblivious to my discomfort until I refused to touch...intimate parts. At first she seemed to assume that I just wasn't ready. After throwing herself at me for weeks with no positive results, she realized that I was never going to be ready. She broke it off, which was fine with me. I didn't really want to be known to the 6 Weasley boys as the one who broke their sister's heart.

Holding Draco gave me butterflies in my stomach in a way that Ginny never did. He mattered more after one conversation, though that conversationwas definitely a heavy one, than Ginny did after months of dating. I laughed a little at that one. Ginny was dating. I was trying to play the part. Was it wrong to lead her on like that? I didn't know, and I didn't care. Draco wormed his way back into my mind, not that he'd been far from it. I thought about his hair, his smell, his skin, his voice, his lips like a bloody love-sick girl. No, definitely not love-sick. That's crazy. I can't have a crush on Draco Malfoy.

Thank Merlin that at that moment Ron burst through my curtains going on about sleeping late and missing breakfast. I dressed slowly, stalling. What if Draco was at breakfast? Ron's impatient calls sped up my lingering. Draco was at breakfast, but he didn't look at me. Ron caught me checking.

"Malfoy's eating breakfast, Harry. He's not planning to spike the pumpkin juice. It's not a breakfast conspiracy. You have to let go of this obsession with Malfoy," Ron said. Ha, if only he knew. Actually, better that he didn't.

"I'm not obsessed," I protested. I didn't have the heart to believe it anymore. I was getting damned close to an obsession with Draco. I checked more subtly from then on. Draco looked pale, if anyone with that complexion can look pale. I wasn't listening to Ron. I was back to my inner debate about whether or not I'm supposed to go talk to Draco. I had never been this unsure about talking to someone.

"Harry, class. Now." Ron was impatient and tugging at my arm. Stumbling inattentively after Ron, I thought about how much I'd rather have Draco tugging on my arm. It was pathetic, really. Ron and I were late to Herbology, costing Gryffindor precious points and earning us glares from our housemates. Neville came to our rescue.

"Now, class," Professor Sprout began. "Today we are going to learn how to pick berries from a swiggleflute. Who can tell me what they're used for?" Neville's hand shot up faster than Hermione's. "Yes, Mr. Longbottom?"

"The red swiggleflute berries are used in sleeping draughts and healing potions. The black berries are poisonous." Neville earned fifteen points with his answer.

We spent the remainder of class picking berries and sorting them, which was actually rather difficult. Ron was the first casualty. With a filthy word, Ron pulled his had away from his swiggleflute and whimpered. Hermione rolled her eyes at him. I had to hold Ron still while Hermione and Neville picked thorns out of his palm. I was more careful after that, but the backs of my hands were scored by the time we left. Neville, Hermione, and a lucky Ravenclaw were the only ones who escaped the lesson unscathed.

After leaving the humid greenhouse, Ron, Hermione, and I sat for a moment on the steps leading back to the castle. I rummaged in my bag to find the salve I had conjured up for Draco. I was glad I kept it. Ron gratefully dunked his fingers in. Hermione, who didn't need any, stared at me.

"Why are you carrying that around?" she asked.

"I didn't know I had it. I saw it when I was looking for a quill." She squinted at me, and I tried not to flush.

"Who cares why he has it, Hermione, I'm just glad he does."

"Have you finished your History of Magic essay yet? It's due this afternoon."

Damn it. That's what I was supposed to be working on when I was with Draco. And when I was thinking about Draco when I got back last night. And this morning when I woke up and thought about Draco some more. I shook my head. This was not going to end well.

"Harry, why isn't your essay finished? Even Ron finished his. What were you up to last night?" Hermione demanded. Ron snickered. "What, Ron?"

"Nothing," I replied quickly. I didn't want Ron to answer. "I wasn't doing anything."

"You weren't outside the Room of Requirement waiting for Malfoy again, were you?" There is nothing quite like a disapproving Hermione. I shook my head and prayed that this conversation would end. "Then what were you doing?" Ron snorted. "What, Ronald?"

"He wasn't stalking Malfoy," Ron laughed. I gave him glares. Glares of knives. Glares of death even. He was more afraid of Hermione's grip on his arm and the threat in her voice. "He was wanking."

Ron doubled over in a fit of laughter. Hermione blushed redder than Weasley hair, and I wanted to be anywhere else. We were gathering a crowd. I did my best to ignore them, but Ron would not stop laughing. Hermione looked like she was trying to find a way to tell me that school work is more important than wanking. I don't think she'll ever manage to tell me that one, thank goodness. I might die if I hear the word wanking come out of Hermione's mouth. I was doing a good job of pretending to be invisible when I heard Crabbe and Goyle. I glanced up hoping to see Draco. He was there but with a blank expression.

I had a sinking feeling in my stomach. It was more than disappointment. I felt stupid. Stupid for trusting him. Stupid for telling him things. Stupid for liking him. Stupid for wanting him. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Ignoring Ron, Hermione, and the amused giggling from the, thankfully ignorant, spectators, I stalked off. I ran my way to Gryffindor tower and up the stairs to the dorm. I spelled my curtains closed after I flopped onto my bed. I didn't want to think about anything. I pulled parchment out of my bag to do my History of Magic essay which started this whole damn mess. I focused with what must have been Hermione-like precision. I couldn't think about how embarrassed I was outside. I couldn't think about how wrong I was about Draco. So I thought about how Goblin vs. Wizard wars impacted modern magical medicine. It was boring, but it kept me occupied.

I skipped lunch. I didn't really want to talk to Ron and Hermione or anyone else for that matter. For that same reason, I walked into History of Magic at exactly the last moment. I avoided eye contact. Hermione tried to mumble an apology that sounded more like an embarrassed squeak and a tsk for poor time management. Ron said nothing. You'd think the git would at least say he's sorry for running his mouth. It wasn't even true, not that he knew that. I didn't say anything through dinner either.

Hermione all but bound me to a chair in the common room after we ate. Ron was with us, albeit more willingly than I was. Despite it being Friday night, Hermione insisted that we work on next week's homework. I found the idea appalling; I wanted to be upstairs glued to the Marauders' Map. I felt rather pathetic, actually. One conversation and I couldn't get him out of my mind. He wouldn't even look at me, and I wanted nothing more than to touch him again. I wondered if Ginny felt like this when I pushed her away. Thinking about her made me feel guilty. Ron kicked me under the table. I looked up to see Hermione starting at me with six inches of parchment in front of her. Mine was blank.

"Are you still upset about what was said earlier?" she asked. "Ron was telling me that he wanted to apologize but didn't want to bring it up."

"I what?" Ron must have been kicked by Hermione, hard. He winced and changed his tune. "Yeah, erm, I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"It's fine, Ron, forget about it." I just wanted him to shut up. I wanted everyone to leave me alone. I wanted me to leave me alone. I wanted that stupid blond out of my head. Ron and Hermione had a hushed conversation that probably involved Ron telling Hermione he had no intention of actually apologizing. I ignored them. Shuffling parchment, Ron's questions, and Hermione's sighs filled the time it took for Hermione to write her next 6 inches. I wrote none. I didn't want to sit through any more disapproving looks, so I retreated up the stairs.

I threw my book bag, pajamas, and Map onto my bed before climbing in and spelling it closed. Even though it was only quarter past eight, I was not going to talk to anyone for the rest of the night. And I didn't.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I woke up early again after a restless night of dreams about blond hair and soft lips. Not wanting to wake anyone, I dressed quietly. I knew I'd have to face them again soon, but I wanted some peace. It was chilly outside, but I didn't care. I was glad to feel something other than the overwhelming heat of embarrassment and the warmth I felt when I thought about Draco. I didn't want to feel warm. I suppose this is just another one of those things that happens to me without asking, I thought bitterly. My head felt a little clearer in the brisk wind.

I climbed up into the Quidditch stands. I was sure Ron was plastered to Hermione and Hermione wouldn't set foot on the Quidditch pitch unless she got to see Ron in his uniform. Quidditch uniforms. Quidditch uniform on Draco. Draco on a broom. Draco's hair blowing in the wind. Draco's hair in my fingers. Draco's fingers on my arm. Draco's lips on my neck. Draco's lips on

I Am Not Thinking This. I didn't feel a warmth spreading through me. I started pacing. It didn't help. Finally I threw myself onto one of the benches. In an attempt to clear my mind, I did my damn homework. As long as it gets done, why should anything else matter? It looked like late afternoon; I was surprised time had gone that quickly. After sitting for so long, I decided to take a walk. I packed up my bag and wandered down to the lake. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

It wasn't a good idea for long. Ron and Hermione had walked up to me before I even realized they were near. Ron looked bored. Hermione looked determined. There are times when Hermione's good intentions can't make up for what she's saying. This was one of those times.

"Harry," she started, "we've missed you today. I know studying isn't your favorite thing to do, but it's important. Especially this late in our schooling. I know that sometimes you'd rather work alone. I understand that, but if you're off…"

"Wanking," Ron interjected. Git.

"That's not as important as learning. You have to sort out your priorities. You should get your homework done before…"

"Wanking," Ron supplied again. Traitor.

"Thank you, Ron," she said tightly. It almost seemed like she was annoyed at him because she couldn't manage to say wanking.

"Can't you just leave me alone? I have my homework under control. What difference does it make to you when I do it?"

"Harry, don't yell at her. It's not her fault that you're embarrassed about wanking."

"Can't you shut him up, Hermione? Glare at him, kick him in the shins, something?"

"Don't talk to her like that," Ron snapped, standing almost toe to toe with me.

"It's not my fault you're touchy that you're whipped." I was angrier than angry. I wanted to piss him off so he'd leave me the fuck alone. I might have accomplished it. He took a swing at me. I ducked. I spent years evading Dudley. I shoved his shoulders, pushing him back a few feet. He swung again and collided hard with my jaw. I guess fighting a slow and clumsy oaf doesn't prepare one for fighting a Weasley with five older brothers. While I stood there, stunned, he grabbed Hermione by the wrist and stalked off. I started in the opposite direction. I didn't care where I was going as long as it was away from the two of them.

I found myself in an old Charms classroom. I sat down at one of the desks, putting my head down. I was tired. I saw the scars on my hand and thought of Draco. It was all so fucked up. I wanted to cry. I swore that I wouldn't, though. I heard the door open and close. Was it really too much to ask to have some time alone? I was so tired of having people in my business. Voldemort's war. School work. Personal life. Five minutes of peace, please. I ignored the intruder. He didn't ignore me.

"Harry?" Draco's voice both soothed me and angered me.

"What do you want?" I asked wearily. The last thing I wanted to do was sit here with the gorgeous blond (_not gorgeous, just blond_) who wouldn't look at me or get out of my thoughts.

"I wanted to talk to you. I didn't see you in the Great Hall today."

"Because I wasn't in the Great Hall today. Why do you want to talk to me, anyway? You wouldn't even look at me yesterday."

"I know. I couldn't."

I turned to look at him, careful to keep my bruised jaw in shadow. "Why?"

"You're the first one who's seen me cry. You saw me broken. I couldn't face you."

"Do you want any more of the salve?" I offered. I gave him a small smile; he didn't hate me after all. He nodded.

"If you have it. I didn't come here for that, though. I came to see you."

I dug around in my bag rather than just summoning the jar. I wanted a minute to calm down. When I turned to give it to him he was standing close to me with his shirt unbuttoned. I felt odd sitting there with his chest at eye height, so I stood. I smeared ointment on his healing wounds. We were both quiet. It didn't really seem appropriate to talk while touching him. I was glad he didn't wince this time. As I was tending to the last red line, my fingers grazed over his nipple. He gasped and let out a shaky breath. I blushed. I fumbled with the lid to the jar. When I finally turned to face him, he was buttoned up and composed.

"What happened to you?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"This." He kissed the purple bruise on my jaw. His lips on my skin. Again. I sighed and closed my eyes. My eyes shot back open when he pressed his lips to mine. I started to kiss him back. This Is Not Happening. Screw Gryffindor courage, I bolted. I was surprised that I managed to remember my bag when I sprinted down the hall. As I turned the corner I saw Hermione and Ron. Not wanting to talk to them, I ducked into the nearest classroom.

"Where's Potter?" I heard Draco growl in the hall.

"I don't know. We've been looking for him." Hermione.

"No we haven't," Ron snapped. "Let's go, Hermione."

I heard footsteps as I waited unsure if I was hoping Draco left, too. He strode in the door and walked straight up to me. I tried to say something. Anything. But instead I gave in and kissed him. Shortest kiss of my life.

"Again," I whispered despite myself when we broke apart. This time I didn't pull away. I threaded my fingers in his hair; his arms circled my waist. I could barely breathe. This was scarier than basilisks and dragons and Voldemort. _I, Harry James Potter, want to kiss Draco Malfoy until I forget my name. What's wrong with me?_ He licked along my lips. I thrust my tongue into his mouth. This was better than Cho. Better than Ginny. This was hot. I started hyperventilating.

"I can't. I'm not… I didn't think I was…" He rubbed my back soothingly as I babbled. I rested my head on his shoulder.

"What do you want?" he whispered in my ear.

"No one's ever asked me that before." I was shocked. No one _had_ asked me that. The Dursleys never asked me anything. Hermione didn't ask me if I wanted perfect marks. Ron didn't ask if I wanted to be Quidditch captain. The Weasleys didn't ask if I wanted to be with Ginny. And no one had ever asked if I wanted to save the damn world.

"Harry James Potter, what do you want?" he said again.

"Your lips."

"Where?"

"Everywhere."

"Here?" he asked, kissing the base of my neck. I gasped in response. "Here?" he asked, nipping higher. He got the same reaction. "Here?" he asked, licking the shell of my ear. I groaned. I tightened my fingers in his hair when he made it to my lips again. I pushed myself against him. I don't know when his hand slipped to my back pocket. This Is Happening.

I backed away frightened, confused, and harder than I'd ever been in my life.

"We don't have to do this now," he said. "We don't have to do this at all."

"I want to. But I'm two steps from panicking. I just… I need to think. I need to breathe. Oh, god, what am I doing?"

He kissed me on the cheek and said "Whenever you're ready" before he walked out. I fell into  
>a chair, stunned. I felt like I was in pieces. I felt like I'd never been more whole in my life.<p>

I stumbled back to the Gryffindor tower in a haze. I would have smacked face first into the Fat Lady if Ginny hadn't come up behind me and said the password. She looked at me sideways. _Oh god, she knows. Wait? What? That's stupid, Harry. She doesn't know. How could she? She never got this reaction out of you. Stop it. Think. Find Hermione. Apologize. Avoid questions. Produce homework. Don't breathe a word of what happened._ I went over to Hermione who was tucked away in a corner surrounded by her usual entourage of books and parchment.

"I'm sorry," I said. She looked up and gestured for me to sit down. She carefully placed her quill on the table.

"I know," she sighed.

"You're Hermione; of course you know. That's not enough. I wanted to tell you. I'm sorry. You deserve better than the way I was acting. I know you were just trying to look out for me. Sometimes the crowding around me is too much, and I'm just not very good at telling you that nicely. I wanted some time alone."

"Alone?" She smiled at me like something was funny. I nodded. She smirked. "Nice hickey."

I felt like I paled and blushed all at once. It wouldn't have surprised me if I had stripes. I couldn't find my voice to deny it. I ran for the stairs. I heard her call after me. I didn't care. I flung myself onto my bed in the thankfully empty dorm. I almost had my breathing under control when Hermione burst through the door. She sat on my bed without invitation.

"Sorry, Harry. Do you want me to make it go away for you?"

"Yes, please. And the bruise from where Ron hit me, if you don't mind." I felt a tingle under my skin when she raised her wand and cast the spell. "And please please please don't tell anyone," I added.

"I solemnly swear," she said with a smile.

She convinced me to eat dinner with her and Ron. Ron was a prat. He seemed rather irritated that Hermione had removed the bruise from my jaw. His attitude did a 180 when Hermione kicked him under the table. _How does he manage to walk around with bruised shins all the time? Maybe Hermione heals them for him. _ I was still annoyed with him and wanted to point out how right this made me about his being whipped. I decided that I'd rather have my two best friends back.

We hung out in the common room, first doing homework at Hermione's insistence, and then playing a game of Exploding Snap. I was frequently distracted. My head was spinning from my time with Draco. Hermione shot me sympathetic looks like she knew what I was thinking about. I hoped she didn't know too much.

Ron and I had a lively gripe session about Hermione being a tad academically obsessed. He prefers to call it being out of her damn mind. I think I agree with his version. It was Draco's whispers not having Ron back that filled my head when I drifted to sleep that night.

TBC. Sorry, I'm a slow updater. I haven't abandoned you.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

_Draco's lips were hot on my neck. I could feel his whole body pressed against me. He kissed down my chest and dropped to his knees. His hands were doing more than ridding me of my trousers. His breath made me shiver when it puffed across my erection. He took me into his mouth, and his hands ran up my thighs. I moaned long and loud as I came._

I woke panting and sticky with sweat and come. I was alone, but I was still embarrassed. I could barely accept that I wanted to shove my tongue down Draco's throat. Then I had the most detailed sex dream I've ever had, and woke up covered in spunk. I picked up my wand, but I was so rattled that I couldn't remember how to do a cleaning charm. _If only Hermione were here…OH GOD, I'd die if Hermione were here._ I listened carefully. When I didn't hear any noise from my dorm-mates, I hauled it to the bathroom. I stripped down practically already under the shower spray. Obsessing about the dream, I washed the mess from my body. I felt light-headed when I realized that I had a soapy hand wrapped around my erection. I turned the tap to cold. I shivered in the icy stream and didn't get out until I was clean. Twice. Wrapped in a towel I headed back to the room.

I surreptitiously stuffed my soiled pajamas in my trunk while I fended off a very hungry Ron. I dressed in a hurry. Ron was trying to drag me out half naked in his rush for breakfast. I was still adjusting my glasses when we met Hermione at the portrait hole. I was glad I had finished my homework during my self-imposed exile the day before. If I had to endure any more interference from Hermione, I'd have to hex her, no matter how good her intentions.

Ron was trying to chew loudly enough to drown out Hermione's nagging when the post came. A neatly folded square of parchment fell onto my plate. I opened it. _10 a.m. Same place. Please._ I hastily shoved it in my pocket. Never breaking her tirade, Hermione gave me a questioning look. I shook my head. Breakfast dragged on and on after that. I told Hermione and Ron that I was going to take a walk instead of heading back to Gryffindor. Hermione protested until I told her I'd finished my homework. Then Ron protested because I left him alone in the path of Hurricane Hermione.

I arrived at the empty classroom dreadfully earlier. I transfigured two old chairs into cushy armchairs. I picked one to wait in. With every passing second, my anxiety grew. _What if he doesn't come? What if he can tell what I was dreaming about? What if he doesn't really want me? What if I mess this up? What if he wants to do what I was thinking about? Could I really do that? What would it feel like to have his mouth on me? Do I look good naked? How does someone know if they look good naked? I bet he looks good naked. I wonder how soft his skin is. _

Draco walked into the room while I was lost in my thoughts. Hearing him cast a locking charm on the door startled me. He changed my armchairs into a sofa. When the furniture shifted, I fell to the floor. I blushed when I righted myself hoping that I didn't look too stupid and that he couldn't tell how _interested_ I was in his presence. I looked at him, and he looked distracted. He wouldn't look me in the eye. _Oh, shit_. He sat down on the sofa as far from me as possible, staring at the floor. Even though he asked me to meet him here, he didn't say anything. The silence was killing me. It seemed like forever but was probably only a minute.

"You wanted me here. Say something," I blurted. I almost sounded like Hermione. I hadn't meant for it to come out that way, but I was scared that Draco was here to tell me that yesterday was a mistake and that he still hated me. He looked at me, shaking.

"I want you," he whispered.

"Really?" I asked. His response had been so far from what I had been preparing myself to hear. I was almost afraid to believe him. He nodded and looked down. I scooted over to him. _I am so out of my element_. I hoped he would turn, take charge, and shove his tongue into my mouth like yesterday. I hesitantly put a hand on his shoulder. He must not have been expecting it because he jumped up and looked at me like a deer in headlights.

"I won't hurt you," I said.

He whispered back, "I know." He turned away from me. I told him I was behind him before I put my arms around him.

"Turn around, please," I said to him. He shook his head. "Why?"

"I don't want you to see me like this. I hate that I'm crying in front of you. Again."

I kissed his neck like he had done to me. He tilted his head to the side. I licked behind his ear. He moaned. Full out moaned. "Turn around," I whispered in his ear, kissing his neck some more.

"No," he groaned.

"I want you. I'm scared, but I want you."

"Close your eyes." I did as I was told, and I was rewarded. He slithered around, pressed to me. Then he attacked my mouth with lips, teeth, and tongue. I didn't mean to, but I bucked against him when he sucked on my lower lip. We stumbled back until the back of my knees hit the sofa. I flopped onto it and pulled him down on top of me. He ground his hardness against mine, and I stopped thinking. I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him harder. He bit at my neck. I arched into him. I felt breathless; he sounded breathless. I snaked my arm around and slipped a hand into the back of his trousers. He was thrusting down against me.

"Harry…Harry, I'm going to…" He tensed and sucked on my neck as he came. I followed hot on his heels. I dropped my legs, and he laid his head on my chest. We were both panting for breath. I felt him trembling. We sat up, but I wouldn't let him out of my arms. He stuttered the word 'I' a few times before breaking out in sobs. I held him close, stroking his hair, and muttered a cleaning charm for both of us. He flinched as the magic cleaned him. I was waiting for him to calm down before asking him what the matter was. When his tears subsided, he looked at me with watery eyes and kissed me. I pulled back as gently as possible.

"What's wrong, Draco? Talk to me. Please." He looked for a moment like he was going to protest.

"Do you…never mind."

"Do I what?"

"Nothing. Of course you don't. You're so strong all the time." He looked so sad.

"Not always," I whispered. "What's your question?"

"Do you have nightmares?"

"Yes," I admitted. "I can see through Voldemort's eyes when I sleep. I can feel what he feels. Ron wakes me up screaming in the middle of the night. What do you dream about?"

"What's going to happen to me when I don't kil- do what You-Know-Who wants. But last night I- it was- you- if my father knew-"

"He doesn't. He won't."

"It felt so real."

"I know."

I held him as we sat in silence for a while after that. I blinked back tears. He needed me to be strong. _Why am I always in situations where other people need me to be strong? When do I get to break down? _ Draco sighed.

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I want to kiss you again."

I tilted his face up to look at me. Then I nodded. My yesterday-Draco smiled at me before practically launching himself at me. His mood swings were a little unsettling, but considering how often I went back and forth about this in my own head, I supposed I wasn't really in a position to judge.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled against my lips between kisses. "I'm sorry I'm crazy. But I want you. I need you. Please."

I moaned "yes" as he rubbed against me. I pushed him on his back, wanting to be on top for no reason other than I wanted to prove that I wanted this. He pushed his tongue into my mouth. I sucked on it eagerly as he trailed fingers under the waistband of the back of my trousers. His hand on my skin was intoxicating. No one had ever made me feel like that before. When Ginny had tried, my stomach had churned like I was going to vomit. When Draco touched me I felt everything but ill. I had never felt so free, so confused, so loved, and so damn terrified. I didn't know what to do with my hands or his hands. I didn't want to admit to myself how hard it was for me to accept that I'm gay. It surprised me but made sense all at the same time. I was head over heels and losing my mind. Draco was kissing the breath out of me. It was too much. I was feeling overwhelmed with the whole thing, and I was starting to panic. I jerked away, panting raggedly. I felt hot tears prickling my eyes. It was mortifying, but I couldn't stop them from falling.

"I'm sorry," I choked out over and over again. I wanted to be anywhere else, but I didn't want to be anywhere else. Even Ron and Hermione hadn't seen me like that. I curled into a ball. He knelt on the floor beside the couch. He ran his fingers through my hair and whispered comforting things to me. I pulled him up next to me and hugged him like I would die if I let go.

"You don't have to be sorry."

I finally started to calm down. The tears stopped, but I kept shaking. "I understand if you don't want to stay here and deal with me."

"I'll stay with you all day if that's what you want," he promised. I launched into a fresh batch of tears.

"No one else would."

With his thumb, he wiped tears from my face. Then he kissed my cheek. He gave me a sweet kiss on the lips before he said, "tell me why you're crying."

"It's too much. All of it. I've never felt like I feel with you. It's happening so fast, and there's so much I didn't know. I knew I didn't want Ginny, but I thought that was just her. I never thought that I'd want another boy. It scares me, but it feels so right. And everything else is so messed up. I can't handle everything. I'm so sick of hiding. Hiding from Voldemort. Hiding from Ron and Hermione. They don't know about all this stuff. They don't want to know. They don't want to know all the things that happened to me. They don't want to know that I have panic attacks. And right now all I want is you." It all came out in one long breath. I was terrified that he would walk out.

"You have me. Is it okay if I kiss you?"

"Just don't break me."

"I won't."

He kissed me gently. I felt safe in his arms. I licked at his lips; he opened his mouth but didn't push forward. I slowly slid my tongue into his mouth. This time we were gentle with each other. We sat like that for awhile, just kissing, before he guided me into his lap. Without breaking our lip-lock, I settled onto my knees, straddling him. I kept my hands on his shoulders, but he put his on my thighs. He was agonizingly respectful. I knew he was waiting for me, but I didn't know if I could find the courage to move it along. Panting, we broke apart and rested cheek to cheek.

"Save me," we whispered to each other in surprising tandem. Then we stared at each other. I kissed his lips and along his cheek.

"You're gorgeous," I said before biting down on his earlobe.

"Tell me what you want," he gasped, "you're calling the shots." I moved back so I could look him in the eye.

"No," I said shaking my head. "We're in this together, Draco." He teared up and nodded. _Look at us, crying like a pair of girls_. He said something so softly I missed it. He flushed, and I had to ask him to repeat himself.

"Is it okay if I touch you?"

"Yes. Touch me, Draco."

He slid his hands slowly up my thighs while I held my breath. I relaxed into his touch when he finally reached for me. Even through the fabric of my trousers, his hand on me almost had me undone in a matter of seconds. I rocked into his hands while mercilessly grinding against him. I wanted to look into his eyes, but I was too embarrassed. I heard Draco asking for more. My eyes snapped to his face. I dragged my hands down his chest. Hesitantly, I pressed my hand against the bulge in his trousers. We groped at each other in an uncoordinated frenzy accompanied by harsh panting and soft moans.

"You make beautiful faces," he whispered against my lips as our bodies shuddered together. We sat silently in the aftermath. I played with his hair; he kept his arms around me. Then my stomach growled, and we both laughed.

"Where does everyone think you are?" I asked him suddenly. I knew what I was feeding to Ron and Hermione. I had no idea what he had told the Slytherins to get his goons to go away.

"I have an agreement with Pansy Parkinson," he told me. "I let her tell everyone I'm dating her and she never asks me where I'm going. Ever."

I actually laughed out loud. I couldn't picture Pansy Parkinson asking Draco to pretend to be her boyfriend.

"I'm serious, Harry. Everyone thinks Pansy and I are dating and that we are frequently off together for 'alone time.' Pansy needs me to lie for her as much as I need her to lie for me. She's involved with a Muggle-born Hufflepuff, and I've been… thinking. And, well, now I'm snogging you. She doesn't know about you. She doesn't know about Dumbledore. She probably assumes that I have a secret mission from You-Know-Who, but she knows better than to ever say it out loud. I know that Weasley and Granger are the kind of people to nag after you, but Pansy won't. She'll never ask; she's a Slytherin. What Gryffindors' will never realize is that in Slytherin, we're expendable. Pansy's expected to marry a pure-blood and produce pure-blooded babies who will grow up to be bigoted Death Eaters. There is nothing her family wouldn't do to keep her on track. If word of this gets to her parents, that poor Hufflepuff boy will be dead to teach Pansy a lesson and who knows what'll happen to her. I can see that look on your face, Harry. Don't open your mouth. I probably shouldn't have told you and I really really don't want to talk about it any more. Where do the other two thirds of the Trio think you are?"

"I told them I was going for a walk…" I cast a quick _tempus_… "about 3 hours ago."

"And they haven't come to find you yet?"

"Hermione's making Ron do homework. I figure I've got a while left to fool around with you."

TBC. Still a slow updater. I love you for your patience.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews.

When I reluctantly disentangled myself from Draco, it was late afternoon, and I was wracking my brain trying to remember the spell Hermione used on my last hickey. I wasn't having any luck. On my way back to Gryffindor Tower, I ran into Hermione coming out of the girls' loo by the library.

"Hermione," I called.

"Harry, where have you been?" she asked in her bossy-tone. I shrugged and pointed at my hickey. She rolled her eyes but made it disappear anyway. "I didn't ask you this last time, but who are you seeing?"

I dragged her into a side corridor where we were less likely to be seen. I knew it would happen eventually; I was just glad that Hermione and I were alone. "I can't tell you. And I really don't want anyone to know."

"Does Ron at least know?"

"No," I told her with a panicked look. I could only imagine the horror on Ron's face if he found out that not only am I snogging a boy but that boy is Draco. "And he can't know. Please don't tell him. He'd freak."

She gave me a sideways look and said, "It's not Ginny, is it?"

"He'd probably take that better, and I'm not going to tell you."

"Not going to tell her what?" Ron asked, sneaking up behind us.

"Where he's been going to get away from us and why he's doing his homework without us." Thank god for Hermione, never missing a beat.

"Yeah, that is kind of annoying," Ron said pointedly.

"Your whining is annoying," Hermione snapped back at him. "If I were Harry I wouldn't want to listen to it either."

Ron stalked off. I mouthed a 'thank you' to Hermione before we followed him. Back in Gryffindor Ron challenged me to a game of Wizards' chess. Hermione whacked him upside the head and sat him down with an almost-finished essay in front of him. I promised him a game after dinner and headed upstairs. I decided to take a shower before dinner, knowing full well that Ron would demand all of my attention for the rest of the evening. And I wanted to keep Ron satisfied. I was a little disgusted with myself. It had more to do with keeping Draco my dirty little secret and less to do with being a good friend.

Standing under the hot spray I realized just how inadequate cleaning charms are. _Or maybe I'm just not very good at them_. After how much Draco and I played, I was surprised that just thinking of him made me hard again. Although, I suppose it really shouldn't have. What's the point of being a teenage boy if I can't make an abundance of hard-ons? The bathroom was empty, and the squeaky hinge on the door could always be heard over the sounds of the showers. I closed my eyes and let myself think of Draco.

_I hadn't felt Draco's hands on my skin yet, but I couldn't stop imagining it. I imagined that my soapy hand was Draco's as it trailed across my chest. Remembering his gasp when I touched his nipple that one time, I pinched at mine. It was slick but ultimately uneventful. I kept moving south. If I'd been braver, I would have asked him to do this earlier. This was still so new to me that being alone with my thoughts in the shower made me blush. I thought about Draco kissing me while his hand stroked up and down my shaft. I bit my lip to keep from moaning. I didn't know how to tell him I wanted this. I didn't know where to tell him I wanted this. I imagined his teeth sinking into my neck. My hand sped up. I'd swear I could hear him whisper "I want to taste you" in my ear before I came. _

I stood in the shower gasping. After our morning, I still wanted more. My euphoria was knocked down a peg when I realized that I had no one I could talk to, no one to give me advice or listen to me. I couldn't bear to even imagine what Ron would say if I told him. I couldn't imagine him being all that happy to find out that I'm gay. I didn't know quite how well that goes over in the Wizarding world, but I figured it wouldn't be all that different from Muggles. Then there was the issue of Ginny. He'd be livid that I dated Ginny anyway. I was afraid of losing my best friend. Hermione would be my best bet. I knew she'd be okay. Well, with the gay thing anyway. Maybe not so much about the Draco half. I just couldn't bear to tell her yet.

I dressed and joined Ron and Hermione in the common room. It took about ten minutes for Ron to convince Hermione that she should put her book down and go for dinner. I was famished. My plate rivaled Ron's. I tried to keep myself from peeking at the Slytherin table. The only thing that kept me from doing it was the fear that Hermione would figure it out. That girl's too smart for my own good.

We settled down in the common room after our meal, Hermione with a book, Ron and me with a chess board. We were a few moves into our game when Ginny came to steal Hermione away for some 'girl talk.' I will never want to know what that means. Ron and I made faces at each other. We played three games that night, all of which I lost. I almost managed to hold my own in that last game, and I would have won if I hadn't been distracted by thoughts of Draco. Or, at least that's what I told myself.

When I finally climbed into bed that night, I thought about all the things Draco had told me. Until now, I hadn't let myself really think about what was going to happen to him. Between what he told me about Pansy and his mission for Voldemort, I knew he wouldn't stand a chance if he went home. I might not be the brightest crayon in the box, so to speak, but I had a Slytherin and the most Brilliant girl in school on my side (if I ever got the guts to tell her). I was going to make this all okay.

I awoke feeling rested after the first dreamless night I'd had in weeks. It wasn't until I was packing up my bag and realized that my first lesson of the day was Potions that my mood soured. Hermione, Ron, and I trudged down to the dungeons together. It got worse when Snape told us we would be brewing with a partner. There were an odd number of Gryffindors, and Ron had already snagged Hermione. I knew I'd be stuck partnering with a Slytherin, and the prospects did not look good. Hermione was so busy warning Ron not to screw up that she didn't even spare a sympathetic glance in my direction.

"Mr. Potter," Snape sneered at me while I looked around, "you will be pairing with Mr. Malfoy."

I genuinely looked shocked. It hadn't really occurred to me that we would be put together. I put on my 'bleh' face to keep from letting a smile slip out. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to smile. Yes, I wanted to be as close to Draco as possible. But the possibility of someone catching on to our secret terrified me. I set my books down and shifted into my new seat stiffly.

"Potter," Draco snapped. He squeezed my knee under the table. I flinched, but I didn't think anyone else had noticed. We worked as silently as possible. When I tried to add the toad flakes, I brushed against him. I held my breath waiting for Snape to curse me. Nothing happened.

"Fight with me," Draco hissed under his breath. He elbowed me as he stirred in the mandrake root. He repeated himself. I still didn't do anything. He huffed.

"Potter," he said loudly. "Your oafish feet are scuffing my shoes. Watch me finish our potion from _your_ half of the table." When he finished, he kicked me.

"Keep your big feet and ugly shoes out from under my feet, Ferret," I snapped at him. _Please, please, don't let this sound pathetic_.

"You should start respecting your superiors, Scarhead."

"Are you even counting how many times you're stirring, Malfoy?"

He gave me a few sharp jabs with an elbow. Somehow in our mock-tussle gone terribly awry our cauldron toppled from the table onto the floor. Purple goo spread outward in a foul-smelling puddle. Snape flicked his wand, and the mess disappeared and left the cauldron on the stone floor.

"Mr. Potter, 10 points from Gryffindor for your antics. Pick up your cauldron off the floor. You and Mr. Malfoy will join me for detention tomorrow evening at six. You may make up your potion then. The rest of you, should you decide to have better self control than Mr. Potter here, have 5 more minutes to complete your work. On Thursday we will be brewing the potion found on page 133 of your Potions book. 8 inches of parchment on the importance of not substituting essence of murtlap with essence of myrtle, as I'm sure some of you will do, is due at the beginning of class."

I cleaned up our work space while Draco sat looking smug. The Gryffindors were torn between being angry with me for losing points and sorry for me because of my detention with Snape and Draco. I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Spending time with Draco fit nicely with my plans, but Snape being there threw a damper on it. _Why did he pick a fight with me? He squeezed my leg so it's not like he was serious. Was he? _I was hoping for a minute alone with him, but I couldn't see how I would manage that.

Hermione led Ron and me to the library to use our free period before lunch to begin Snape's essay. I was digging for a quill in my bag when I found a neatly folded piece of parchment.

_Harry, _

_I promise I know what I was doing. I'll explain everything to you. Meet me in our place after dinner tonight. I miss you._

I hastily shoved it to the bottom of my bag and resumed my search for a quill. Hermione tsked at me when I finally found one. She already had three set out neatly beside her parchment: her quill, her back-up quill, and her heaven-forbid-there's-a-problem-with-the-back-up-quill quill. I pulled out my Potions book and actually felt _motivated_ to do my homework. Hermione would chalk it up to her good influence. Ron would chalk it up to my wanting to stay out of the path of Hurricane Hermione. I wanted time to spend with Draco. The only way I could think to achieve that was to leave poor Ron with Hermione. Hermione would figure it out eventually but would keep my secret. When we left for lunch, I was only an inch of parchment behind Hermione.

We had two classes that afternoon, Transfiguration and History of Magic. Hermione earned points for Gryffindor when she was the first to transfigure her candle into a spoon. This surprised no one. I accidentally made a spork, which most of the class didn't understand. Professor McGonagall asked if I misunderstood the directions. Thankfully our homework for her class was to practice. We weren't quite so lucky in History of Magic. Professor Binns assigned us an essay. It scared me a little that I had started thinking of my homework as an interference with my Draco time instead of merely an annoyance. I didn't really pay all that much attention during class. I figured I would do this assignment with Ron and Hermione so I could borrow her notes.

Hermione insisted that we work on our homework before dinner (_shocking, I know_). I put on my irritated-face, but secretly I was glad that I could use the time on my essay for Professor Binns without wasting snog time. Ginny and Neville rounded us up for dinner. I enjoyed the meal. I actually forgot about Draco and had a good talk with Ginny about Quidditch. She had heard about my detention (_how quickly news travels_) and thought it was during our Wednesday Quidditch game. She was relieved to know that it was on Tuesday, and we spent the rest of dinner talking strategy with Ron. I told them I wanted to catch up with Luna before going back to Gryffindor. I talked to her for a few minutes so technically I wouldn't be lying. Deception was a new game for me. I felt a little bad about keeping a secret from my two best friends but not guilty enough to actually tell them. I made my way to the empty classroom quickly and hoping Draco hadn't been waiting long.

TBC. Lots of love to you all.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I approached the classroom with butterflies in my stomach. I closed the door behind me. Draco had already changed the rickety chairs into a plush sofa and was sitting seductively. Or maybe it was regular sitting. I thought everything about him was seductive. I cast a locking charm on the door for good measure before joining him. I sat stiffly, surprised that I was still so hesitant around him considering yesterday's activities.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sounding anxious. "You're not mad about earlier, are you?"

I looked at him in surprise. That hadn't even occurred to me. I shook my head. I thought about talking but bit my lip instead. I had no idea what to say. Nothing was _wrong_, exactly. I knew I wasn't mad. Pinning down what it was that I was feeling was more difficult. Expectantly, he looked at me.

"I don't know what happens now. Yesterday was the first time anyonesmademeorseenmecome," I admitted. I felt my face burn. _Why am I turning red? I sound like a blushing virgin. Oh god, I _am_ a blushing virgin. Face, please please please turn back to normal again._

"Me, too," he told me. _What?_ "I was embarrassed. I thought that you'd been with the Weasley girl. So I pretended that I was confident. It was kinda stupid."

"She and I, we never, ugh," I shuddered. "Can we talk about something else for awhile? Please? This is all so new and awkward and kinda scary and I'm getting really anxious. Draco, I…"

_Draco, I am totally panicking and freaking out and oh my god you probably think I'm crazy and I don't know how I manage to do anything when I get like this so often and it makes me feel all weak and pathetic and I don't know if I could ever say this stuff out loud because I sound like a childish little girl and I just _He pulled me into a hug. I started to breathe easier. He wanted me anyway.

"We'll talk about something else. How about what I did in Potions?"

"I am kind of curious about that. Why would detention with Snape be a good thing? He might like you, but he hates me."

"We won't have detention with Snape, and he does like me."

"Are you drunk? We have detention with Snape. Weren't you listening at all?"

"Snape has 'meetings' all week. I don't know exactly what that means, but he won't miss one to supervise you. He does like me. He trusts me. He'll leave us alone. He'll probably take your wand first. But we'll be alone. With a good reason. And no need to manipulate our friends."

"Draco, as brilliant as that is, we'll have to spend that whole time brewing up the stupid potions you made us dump over."

"Harry, I am a Slytherin. I have a vial of that potion already. We have to spend that time pretending to brew a potion."

"I'm very glad you're a Slytherin." _He is brilliant. The only Gryffindor who would be able to think that up is Hermione, and she's too straight-laced to do it._

I kissed him. It started as little thank-you kisses, but they didn't stay that way for long. Draco took it farther. I felt his tongue prodding at my lips. I hesitated a moment before responding in kind. His arms were lightly around my shoulders; his hair was soft in my fingers. I moved to suck at his neck eliciting a groan. He gently lowered me onto my back and slid atop me. He held his weight on one hand while sliding the other down to cup me through my trousers. I recaptured his lips. He tugged at the top button on the fly of my trousers, pulled away from my kiss, and stared me straight in the eyes.

"Is this okay?" His hand didn't stop rubbing me as he waited.

"Yes," I whispered. He popped the button and rubbed faster. He bit at my neck as his hand fingered the second button. I moaned this time, "yes." His method for the third button was the some, as was my response. At that point I think I would have said yes to anything if I thought it would make him hurry up. I squirmed under him until his hand finally closed around my flesh. He licked the shell of my ear.

"Harry, this is amazing. No one's ever let me do this. You make me so hard. I never want to stop touching you." I almost came from his words alone. It was the hottest thing I'd ever heard, and his hand was driving me crazy. I was thrusting uncontrollably up into his hand.

"Draco, please. Oh, Draco, more. Please more." I was babbling like crazy. I gathered my courage and looked him in the eyes. He smiled. I'd never felt more exposed or safer than I did in that moment. His thumb skimmed over the head of my erection.

"Come for me," he whispered. With a cry, I did just that. I clung to him taking gasping breaths. His _scourgify_ startled me, but I felt too good to care. I would have happily collapsed into a puddle of jelly, but I wanted to touch him. I wanted to know what he felt like in my hand. I somewhat awkwardly shifted us around until he was the one on his back. I quickly undid his fly using more tugging than actual unbuttoning. The noise he made when I finally touched him was intoxicating. He felt different in my hand than I did. He kissed me. Hard. I tried to match pace with his tongue invading my mouth. His flesh was hot and silky in my fist. He bucked against me when he came, covering my hand in warm fluid. He practically moaned _scourgify_ before pulling me down to lie flush with him.

"I think I like talking to you," I said breathlessly. He laughed in agreement. When I came down from my high, I realized how awkward it felt to lie around with someone with my trousers undone and…parts…hanging out. I tried to subtly re-button my trousers. Either I am not very subtle or he is very observant. _Probably both_. I blushed hard under his gaze.

"Harry, are you…embarrassed?" he asked. _Great. What am I supposed to say to that? No, my face always turns red when I get dressed. _I went for truth. I didn't really want to start lying to him now. I tried for truth. Mostly I just stuttered. "A couple minutes ago," he went on, "I had my hand wrapped around your cock, and now you're embarrassed that I'm looking at you?"

"When you talk like that I want you all over again," I told him, still determined to finish the last two buttons. He grabbed my hand and tried to undo them again.

"Why?"

"Because," I replied, batting his hand away.

"Are you sorry we did this?" _Damn it, he looks hurt. Why does he have to make this all so difficult?_

"No, I'm not sorry. I don't regret any of this. I want this. I want you. But you're just pedal to the metal, and you just don't seem to understand how hard this is for me."

"First, what does 'pedal to the metal' mean and what exactly am I supposed to 'understand'?" He was snapping at me; I was feeling small.

"It means you're going too fast. It's a Muggle saying. And that's my point. I was raised by Muggles."

"I know that. What _exactly_ is your point?"

"This all seems so easy for you. It's not for me. It's new, and it's scary. I don't mean just the…sex kind of stuff. You said that's new for you, too. Liking you. Wanting you. Not just because it's you. But because you're…we're…boys. I didn't know I was like this. It's not okay to be gay in the Muggle world. Kissing you feels so right. But I just never thought about myself this way. I'm surprised. It's turning my world upside down. Please don't be mad at me. I'm not sorry about this at all. Please, just, please don't be mad at me."

Most of it came out in one breath. I was lightheaded. He just looked at me. I wanted to yell at him to just say something already, but I was too scared. _I'm not going to cry. I am not going to cry. I am __NOT__ going to cry. _I was expecting him to yell or walk out. I didn't expect to have his arms wrap around me.

"Not mad," he murmured against my ear. "Never mad. I'm sorry. I didn't realize. I'm sorry. You know we don't have to do this stuff. If you don't want to. If you're not ready. I wasn't trying to be pushy. I'd never push you."

"I know," I told him, snuggling against him. He held me like that.

"We should go, before the other two thirds of the Trio come looking for you."

"I know, but I'd rather stay here with you." Despite my words, I rose to my feet. I extended a hand to Draco who took it and propelled himself up with enough force to launch himself onto my lips. Not that I was complaining. _How does he do this to me?_ My knees were weak. With one last kiss, I reluctantly left him and went back to Gryffindor.

I hoped Ron and Hermione would be in the library so I could blend in without fanfare. When the portrait hole swung open and I saw a shock of ginger hair, I was disappointed. But that shock of red belonged to the littlest Weasley. She dragged her companion over to me where I stood barely two meters inside the common room.

"Harry, I'm really glad you're here," Ginny said almost making it into one word in her obvious excitement. "Katie was telling me about something she heard Lavender Brown gossiping about earlier in the corridor right after Charms. Lavender's really not very discreet; never tell her anything."

"Ginny, why exactly do I care what Lavender was saying earlier?" I asked. _Girls_.

"Yeah, Gin, get to your point. I'm not really sure why you're telling him all this either," Katie Bell said. Ginny rolled her eyes.

"As I was saying, Katie said that Lavender was telling one of the Hufflepuff girls that one of the Ravenclaws told her that Padma and Parvati Patil aren't talking because they're fighting over Roger Davies."

"Wait," Katie interrupted, "why did the Hufflepuff girl care about the twins fighting anyway?"

"I'd rather hear why _I_ care," I added.

"The Hufflepuff girl has liked Roger Davies for ages. Anyway, some other Ravenclaw girl heard Lavender talking and told them that she tried to get Padma and Parvati to stop fighting because Roger Davies doesn't like them anyway because he likes one of the Gryffindors. Lavender got all excited probably because she's so self-centered and just assumed that it was her because she thinks she's the prettiest and she's totally not, but the Ravenclaw told her that Roger Davies likes me. And that's how we're going to beat them in the Quidditch game."

"What?" I was dumbfounded. "What does this have to do with the Quidditch game?"

"Roger Davies is a chaser for the Ravenclaw team. He's actually really good," Ginny said as though this was all very obvious. _Girls_.

"Point, Ginny?"

"Distraction. I am going to distract him. It's perfect."

"You can't be serious," I told her. Katie held up her hands and backed away, telling me that she had no idea Ginny was going there.

"I'm completely serious. From what Katie said that the Ravenclaw told Lavender, Roger Davies _really_ likes me. Like forget-about-the-quaffle likes me. I admit, it's a little underhanded. But there is no rule against pretend flirting."

"No."

"Think of it as an adapted version of the Wronski Feint. A little misdirection."

"No."

"But, Harry, it's a really good idea."

"No. It's a terrible idea, and Ron would kill me."

Ron and Hermione chose that moment to come through the portrait hole, practically walking straight into us. _Maybe Ron will stop showing up during inopportune conversations if I stand with my back to a wall. _

"Ron would kill you if you what?" he asked suspiciously.

"Ginny has this really stupid idea about a 'strategy' for our Quidditch game," I told him.

"It is NOT stupid," she snapped at me.

"I'm going to go do something productive," Hermione told us, and walked off.

"Ravenclaw's really good this year. Ginny, what's the strategy?"

"Distraction, Ron. We are going to distract one of the other team's chasers."

"Harry, that actually sounds like a good plan."

"It's a terrible plan. 'We' are not doing anything. Ginny wants to flirt with Roger Davies to keep him from paying attention."

"No. Absolutely not. My baby sister is not putting out during a Quidditch game. Or at any time. Ever," Ron said, looking absolutely gobsmacked and horrified.

"I'm not a baby, Ron."

Ginny stomped off. I was glad to see her go. I hoped that Ron wouldn't go into a big brother tirade, but he did. Finally, I told him that I was going to go do homework with Hermione. Ron had the sudden urge to use the loo, and I joined Hermione at one of the tables. With a lot of help from Hermione, I finished my essay for Professor Binns. With just a little bit of help, I finished my essay for Snape. Hermione smiled at me knowingly.

"If I'd known this is what it would take to get you to do your homework," she whispered, "I would have told you to get a girlfriend ages ago."

TBC.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: Our cute couple takes it slow, but we're heading into steamier scenes as the chapters progress. If you find this offends your sensibilities, my feelings won't be hurt if you would rather read something else. Whichever path you take, enjoy.

I didn't sleep well that night. I woke up with Hermione's words still burned into my mind. _I would have told you to get a girlfriend_. _What if Hermione doesn't understand? I was eventually going to talk to her. Maybe. She was my best bet. No way I'm starting with Ron. If I can't talk to her, then I really am alone. _Ron tried to get me for breakfast. I told him I didn't feel well and wasn't going. With a shrug, he left. It was true. I did feel sick. _Why does everything have to be so hard? I just want to be normal. I don't want a stupid war. I don't want any more stupid Quidditch. And I want friends who understand. It's not like they know what they're supposed to understand because I won't tell them. But I'm not telling them because I'm afraid they'll hate me for it. Maybe I'm just overreacting. It's probably not that bad. Maybe I should just talk to someone else. That way if they're disappointed I don't have to see them all day every day. Who would I talk to, though? Sirius is gone. I could __NOT __talk about this with any of the Weasleys. Except maybe Bill. But he's not here. Someone from the Order? Lupin. Sirius would have gone to Lupin. I won't see Lupin until the Christmas holidays. I guess I'll have to wait. Unless maybe I could get him to meet me in Hogsmeade. And go where, Harry? Because there are so many private places in Hogsmeade. _

I argh-ed out loud. _This is ridiculous. How can it be this hard to find someone to confide in?_ I was aggravated and swearing as I got dressed and packed up my bag. I thought more about the holidays as I walked down to the greenhouses for Herbology. _Draco. What was he going to do during the holidays? He absolutely could not go to the Manor. I was not going to hand him over to Lucius and Voldemort. This is why I need someone to talk to. Someone to help me figure this out. Someone smart. Maybe I'd just have to bite the bullet and tell Hermione. _

I was distracted all through class. Ron had told Hermione during breakfast that I wasn't feeling well. She thankfully left me alone during Herbology. The class went without incident. Charms was equally uneventful. I thought about Draco, and my mood improved somewhat. Hermione insisted that I eat lunch. I found that skipping breakfast had indeed left me hungry, so I ate a fair amount. During the meal, Professor McGonagall stood and called for everyone's attention.

"Due to an urgent school matter, afternoon classes will be cancelled," she announced. Hermione looked distraught while everyone else cheered. As usual, Snape rained on the parade.

"Potter," he said as he strode past the Gryffindor table on his way out of the hall, "don't think this excuses you from detention. 6 o'clock sharp. Perhaps you will remember your manners this time."

Ron made faces behind Snape's back when he walked away. All the Gryffindors around us laughed, except Hermione. I think Ron was the most excited about our free afternoon. He quickly rallied the Gryffindor Quidditch team for an impromptu practice. I declined. When Ron protested, I told him my stomach wasn't up to flying.

"Harry, you just ate lunch like a normal person. You're fine," he argued.

"Ron, I'd rather not projectile vomit that lunch onto the ground from 100 feet in the air."

With that image in his head, he relented. Hermione declined to watch and walked back to the tower with me. Somehow, during the morning I had talked myself into telling Hermione the truth. Or at least some of it, anyway.

"Hermione, can we maybe talk for awhile?" I asked her once we reached the common room. She gestured to one of the couches. I shook my head. "Upstairs. It's…personal." She followed me up the stairs to the boys' dorms. We settled onto my bed in the empty room.

"Is this about your mystery girl?" she asked.

"Sort of. Hermione, no ones knows about this. No one. You can't say anything. To anyone."

"I promised you I wouldn't tell. I still won't. Not even Ron. I swear."

"I don't have a mystery girl," I said. I drew my knees up to my chest.

"Who's giving you all those hickeys?"

"Hermione, I have a mystery…boy…" I held my breath while she stared at me. And stared at me. Not a single word left her mouth. _Oh, god, I shouldn't have told her._ I wanted her to leave so I could feel pathetic by myself. I threw myself onto my stomach and buried my face into my pillow when I couldn't hold back my tears any longer. It was mortifying. I wanted to disappear.

"Harry, sit up."

"No," I said, my voice muffled by the pillow that was practically in my mouth. "Go away. I thought you'd be the one person who would be okay with this. Who wouldn't judge me and look at me like I'm a freak."

"Harry, I don't think you're a freak."

"Really?" I asked her, sitting up.

"Of course not. You just surprised me. I was thinking about Ginny and Cho. No one else knows about this?"

"No. I mean, just my, um, mystery friend."

"I'm honored that you trust me with this," Hermione told me. If it were anyone but Hermione, I might think they were joking. "I have one question though."

"I'm not telling you who he is."

"That's not what I was going to ask. You can tell me if you want. When you're ready. Or not. I want to know why me and not Ron?"

"Honestly?"

"Preferably."

"You're smart. I don't think I've ever seen you prejudiced toward anyone. That's why you. And not Ron, well, maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think he'll take it all that well. I'm afraid that he'll think that I've been…looking at him. And I haven't. If he gets upset about this, think about how much it'll mess everything up. He's my best mate, and because we share a dorm and Quidditch locker rooms and stuff, I see him naked all the time. I mean, we're naked, not that I see him or anything. This is so embarrassing."

"I understand what you mean. Just because someone _is_ naked doesn't mean you're appraising them."

I smiled at her and said, "I knew you were a good choice."

"If you'd been sneaking off to see a girl, would you have told us?"

"I think that would depend on who it was."

"Fair enough."

We sat silently for a few minutes. I felt so relieved. I finally had someone to talk to. Well, there are some things I'm really not sure I could manage to say to Hermione. But I was much better off than before. Her sudden topic shift surprised me.

"Where's the Marauders' Map?"

"In my trunk, why? Do you want to borrow it?"

"No. I was just thinking that if Ron ever got curious, which might happen eventually, he'd try to find you on the map. Then he'd know whom you're meeting."

"Thanks. I should probably start carrying it. It'll make sneaking around easier."

"Can't you just pretend to be just friends if someone finds you together?"

"I don't think that would…"

I was interrupted by a beak tap-tap-tapping on the window. Hermione was closer, so she got up to open it. The brown school owl flew in and settled on the window ledge. It stuck its foot out. Hermione untied a small, neatly folded square of parchment. I knew immediately who it was from and hoped desperately that he didn't sign it and she didn't recognize the handwriting. Draco did have rather girlishly dainty writing. I guess my name wasn't written on the outside because she opened it herself. She skimmed it then smiled before handing it to me.

_Harry, _

_I'm spending my free time you know where. Come if you can._

I was glad he used block writing. Thank god he's a Slytherin.

"Go," Hermione said to me. I rummaged for the Map before sprinting off down the stairs. I could practically feel Hermione's laughing smile. I took the least used corridors to our place. I didn't really want to run into any straggling students. I managed to avoid them all. Draco was already in the room when I got there. He was reading a book on the couch, which was larger than last time. That seemed like a good sign to me. Before I joined him on the sofa, I cast a locking charm on the door and then a silencing charm.

"You think we'll be needing that?" Draco smirked. I blushed furiously.

"Draco, I…I thought…I mean I…"

"I'm just teasing you. Merlin, you're sexy when you blush."

"Oh."

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"That doesn't mean I don't want to need it."

"So you want to…"

"Do anything you want to do."

"Oh."

"Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you just sitting there because you don't want to snog or because you're being shy?"

"Shy," I whispered. _God, am I always going to be this…hesitant? Why can't I just walk into a room and pounce on him? _"Kiss me?"

He put one hand on my cheek and the other on the back of my neck. Then he waited. _Damn it_. I kissed him. Shyly. Finally he decided that I was too shy and that he should start participating. Very actively. Not that I was complaining. I preferred it that way. Soon we were panting and groping. I moved to suck on his neck.

"How's your chest?" I asked between nips.

"What?" His breathless voice made my heart speed up.

"Your chest. Does it still hurt from you-know?"

"No. Why?"

"I want to take your shirt off."

He started unbuttoning. I took that as an okay. I impatiently pushed it off his shoulders as soon as I could. He tugged mine off soon after. I didn't really pay attention to his bare chest when I started sliding both my hands up his thighs. I was groping him in what was probably a thoroughly unsexy way while he tried to map every inch of the inside of my mouth with his tongue. He was moaning loudly when he moved his lips from mine to my ear.

"Naked. Now. Please, Harry, touch me."

I hesitated for half a second before agreeing. I tugged him to a standing position, kissing him while I tried to toe off my sneakers.

"Faster if we stop kissing," he gasped.

"Don't want to stop," I panted back while I tugged at the buttons on his trousers.

"Want you naked more," he said reluctantly pulling away. I had never stripped faster in my life. We finished at the same time and threw ourselves at each other. Head-to-toe body-to-body contact. It was glorious. His erection was hard against my hip. I guided him down until he was on his back on the sofa. His eyes traveled up and down my naked body making me flush. I crawled on top of him careful not to knee him in any delicate places. I kissed his neck, loving the way he arched into me. _Why did I put myself on top again? It's not like I know what I'm doing._ I skimmed a hand down his chest. He let out a throaty groan when one of my fingernails caught on his nipple. _He likes that, does he?_ I kissed his collarbone and down his chest. I flicked my tongue against a pink nipple. He moaned and twined his fingers in my hair. _Oh, yes he does._ I skimmed my teeth over the hardening bud. I was so absorbed in the sounds he was making that I didn't expect to feel his hand close around my erection. In my surprise, I bit down too hard.

"Draco, I'm sorry," I said moving back up to kiss his mouth. He bit his bottom lip and looked sheepish. "You liked it, didn't you?"

He blushed a deep red. Then he nodded.

"You're sexy when you blush."

"Harry…"

"And when you moan. If you want me to do it again, you have to say so." _God, I hope he says so. His voice is so hot. And I want him to make those sounds again._ As extra encouragement, I wrapped my fingers around his erection. His hands had dropped to his sides.

"Yes. Again, Harry. Bite, please." _Beautiful sounds_. Wickedly I swirled my tongue over his other nipple.

"Where? Here? Tell me."

"I'll tell you anything if it gets your mouth on me," he groaned. "Your mouth feels so good. Lick, suck, bite, do something with it."

"I'll do anything you say if you tell me in that voice," I said before doing exactly what he told me to do.

He was positively writhing under me. My fingers skimmed over the head of his erection, smearing the wetness I found there around the hot skin. _I wonder what it tastes like?_ I shocked myself with the thought. But it was true; I did wonder. I backed up, placing open mouthed kisses on his stomach as I moved. I nipped at the flesh on his hip. It was odd when I felt his erection brush my cheek. He was uncharacteristically still and silent after a sharp intake of breath. _Oh, shit. I've crossed a line. I've freaked him out. Now what? _Hesitantly I looked up to meet his gaze. I'm sure my doubt was written across my face plain as day. He looked back at me with the sexiest expression I have ever seen.

"Suck me," he groaned.

Gathering my courage, I swiped my tongue over the tip. The taste was saltier than I had imagined, and I had never licked softer skin. I licked and sucked at the head and had to hold his hips down to keep him from thrusting into my mouth. I didn't know what I was doing, but from the sounds he was making I must have been doing it right. My wandering fingers slid down to caress his balls. He came with a hoarse cry, shooting semen down my throat. Unprepared, I choked. I pulled away from him, coughing relentlessly. I tried to just swallow it down but ended up spewing it all over the floor instead. I was so embarrassed. I turned my face away to wipe my mouth. I didn't turn back. I didn't want to see him look disappointed. Or horrified. Adding to my embarrassment, my arousal had completely faded.

"Harry?"

I couldn't answer him; I was afraid I would burst into tears. I felt him move up next to me. He wrapped his arms around me and leaned his head on my shoulder.

"That was the most amazing thing I have ever felt in my entire life, Harry. You're incredible. Turn around so I can give you a proper thank you."

"No," I shook my head. "I don't want to talk about it either. I don't want you to try to make me feel better. It's awkward and embarrassing. You're gorgeous, and you make the sexiest noises. And I'm just fumbling and awkward me. Please, just don't say anything. Just…I don't know. I'll see you in detention."

"Harry—"

"Don't." I dressed and bolted without another word between us.

TBC. Ah, the angst and drama of sexual follies. More to come.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: I noticed a few things that didn't upload properly in Chapter 6. It's been fixed.

I rushed back to Gryffindor. I flew up the stairs to my dorm, ignoring Ginny as she tried to get my attention for what I assumed was a second shot at selling me on her 'strategy.' I ran past Ron and Hermione who'd picked the boys' dorm for some kind of argument. I headed straight to the loo. I hurled violently into the nearest toilet. I grimaced at the globs of Draco's come that were mixed in with the remnants of my lunch. I heard the door open and close and footsteps. _Ron_.

"Hey, get out. You can't be in here. I'm still unzipped and hanging out."

"Honestly, Dean," Hermione said. _Hermione? She's probably rolling her eyes at him_. "I have no intention of watching you urinate. Are you okay, Harry?"

"Peachy," I told her, rising and flushing the toilet before making my way to the row of sinks. I saw Dean and Ron leave.

"Disgusting," Hermione said, "he didn't wash his hands. You look more upset than ill. What happened?"

"I would die from embarrassment if I told you." I was saved from more well-meaning prying by Ron bringing me my toothbrush. I turned away to scrub my mouth out. I was trying not to cry. _When did I turn into such a crybaby? _

"I guess that means you're not coming with us to dinner," Ron said.

"Ron," Hermione scolded. "Stop being insensitive. Go down to dinner. I'll be there in a little bit."

"Are you sure? I can stay up here."

"Yes, I'm sure. Your whining about being hungry is not going to be helpful." Ron left. I know he didn't really want to stay anyway. Hermione led me to my bed. I crawled onto it. She sat beside me and stroked my forehead.

"I can't tell you what happened."

"Was it really that bad?"

"I ran out on him and threw up when I got back. Does that sound good to you?"

"You don't have to snip at me."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just…I'm completely mortified. I feel like an idiot. I looked like an idiot. I'm scared of what he's going to say to me. I didn't let him say anything before I left. I…I couldn't even look at him. I've never felt like this about anyone before. I know it's crazy. I'm scared, Hermione. I don't want to mess things up with him. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to go to for advice. It's just so embarrassing and awkward. I don't know what to say the next time I have to see him."

"I don't know what to tell you. Take a nap. Maybe it won't seem so bad when you wake up."

"I have detention with Snape at six."

"I forgot. Do you want me to stay with you?"

"I know you get all blush-y when you talk about…um…_personal_ stuff, but can I ask you a question? You don't have to answer it if you don't want to."

"Okay."

"I know you and Ron have been secretly snogging. I kinda want to know how…far…you've gone. I know it's really none of my business, but…"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I, um, maybe, kinda, have, a, um, question about, uh, something."

"Can't you just talk to Ron about this?"

"No. It would be a question for you."

"Harry, I don't know…I want to help, but…"

"It's okay. I shouldn't have asked."

"Take a nap. I'll wake you up in time to go down to the dungeons."

I agreed but didn't think I would manage sleep. The next thing I knew, I was thrashing and Hermione was shaking my shoulders. I awoke with a groan, but I was glad that I couldn't remember the nightmare. I avoided conversations while I got ready to go. I made it halfway down before I froze. I didn't think I could go any farther. It was only the fear of Snape's wrath if I were tardy that made me move. Grudgingly. I found myself wishing we actually had to brew a potion so we wouldn't be left with nothing to do.

Snape was, predictably, rude. His instructions were terse and laced with Potter-bashing. He took my wand before he left, leaving Draco with his. As he walked out the door, Snape charmed it to lock us in for the duration of our detention, an excessive three hours. No one in. No one out. Draco had gathered our unnecessary ingredients while Snape was talking. When we were alone, I slid into a chair and stared at my feet. Draco pulled up a chair next to me. I didn't look at him or say anything.

"If you're not going to say anything," he said, "you're going to have to listen to me." Neither sounded particularly good to me. He gave me almost a full minute before opening his big mouth.

"I really like you, Harry. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just have to ask, do you regret what we did?"

I turned to look at him. He looked so vulnerable…and scared. _He _really_ thinks that I'm sorry? I was hoping that we would just never talk about it. Now I have to say something. I can't let him think I regret it. _I mustered up enough Gryffindor courage to look him in the eyes.

"No, I don't regret it."

"Then why are you so upset?"

"Because I'm embarrassed that I choked," I admitted, lowering my gaze. "You're sexy and gorgeous and I was choking and spewing stuff out in the most unattractive way possible."

"Look at me." When I didn't, he put his fingers under my chin and tipped it up himself. "Your lips around my cock was the hottest thing I have ever seen."

"You're not disappointed in me?"

"No. And I still want to give you a proper thank you."

"Later."

"Now."

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"Look where we are."

"No one's here. Snape's not coming back. Our potion's already done. Now is a perfect time."

"I…"

"Just a kiss then."

I agreed. He grabbed my hands and led me away from our table and the jars of ingredients. Still hesitant, I kissed him. I was hard from his words, and I knew he could tell it. He kissed the soft spot behind my ear.

"You're hot for me. I can feel it," he whispered. He started kissing my neck. It felt so good; I was surprised when I felt the back of my thighs pressed against a desk. He pressed himself against me. _Dungeon? What dungeon? _Screw thinking, I wanted more.

He was unbuttoning my shirt. I enthusiastically started on his. My shirt fell on the desk behind me; his fell on the floor. He told me to kick my shoes off. I toed them off while he worked at my trouser buttons. I stood up so he could push them to the floor. He set me on the desk and pulled up a chair.

"I'm going to return the favor," he told me.

"Here? No. You can't. Not here."

"Yes, I can. You are going to sit on Snape's desk while I suck your beautiful cock."

"Oh god. Draco, your voice like that is amazing."

He kissed down my neck. He licked his way down my stomach. He sat down is his chair when he finally put his mouth between my legs. He pushed my knees apart and licked the length of my erection, base to head. He swirled his tongue around the tip, pressing it into the slit. I tangled my fingers into his hair and moaned in earnest. His mouth was working magic.

"Draco, oh, Draco, I'm so close. I'm going to…Draco." With a loud cry, I came. I desperately hoped that I wouldn't choke him. He didn't choke. He gagged a little but swallowed it down. He stood and held me up so I wouldn't fall back onto the desk. I was absolutely breathless, and I was shaking in his arms.

"Are those good shakes?" he asked, sounding concerned.

"So good. I don't think I can stand up, but I want to touch you. Clothes off."

He stripped down while I tried to hold myself up. I pushed him down onto the chair and slid to straddle his lap. I jerked him off slowly, loving the way he tried to thrust up into my hand. I figured he was close when he started moving faster. I leaned down to bite a pert, pink nipple. He threw his head back and splattered my chest with come. _He makes the sexiest faces_. His hands settled around my waist, and I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I could stay like this until we have to leave," I told him.

"Me, too. Except I kind of want to _scourgify_ us before this stuff congeals."

"Go ahead."

"Harry, I can't reach my wand."

I got up from his lap. He _scourgified_ us, and we dressed. I sat down in a chair and pulled him into my lap. He leaned his head on my shoulder. I checked my magically charmed watch (_Thanks, Hermione_) to see how long we had left. _More than two hours. Enough time for what I want to talk about. If he wants to talk. I don't know if I should bring this up at all. I haven't asked Hermione what she thinks. Maybe my Slytherin will have a brilliantly sneaky plan. What if we can't make something work? Geez, Harry, grow a set and get this over with_.

"Draco?"

"Mmm hmmm?"

"Can I ask you something serious?"

"Of course."

"Where are you going during the Christmas holidays?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Because of what you told me in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom about Voldemort, the Manor, and your father. I know you don't want to go there. I don't want you to go there. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"I'd rather die than go back there."

"You said that before. You still mean it? Now? Even with…me?"

"Harry, I can't go back there. They'll torture me to death. There is nowhere for me to go. I thought I'd made that perfectly clear." He pushed himself off my lap and stalked across the room._ Well, this isn't going well_. I followed.

"Draco, I was—"

"No, Harry," he yelled at me. "We're not going to talk about this. I can't believe you brought it up. I have never been more terrified of anything in my entire life." He was screaming at me now and had pulled his shirt off. "Do you remember seeing this? My father has beaten, burned, and whipped me my whole life for disobeying him, embarrassing him, or just making mistakes. Can you just imagine what he'd do to me if I came back _without_ killing Dumbledore? Disobeying the Dark Lord? Making our family look like blood-traitors?"

He dropped to his knees on the stone floor in a sobbing heap. I sat next to him and held him while he cried. He was shivering, so I draped his discarded shirt loosely over his shoulders. Slowly his tears subsided. He properly put his shirt on without a word.

"Come with me, Draco," I whispered into his hair.

"There's nowhere to go. Snape locked us in, remember?"

"Not now. For Christmas."

"Really?"

"Yes. You'll be safe with me. And I'd get to see you every day."

"You think we'll be safe with the Muggles?" he asked skeptically. I laughed.

"I don't spend Christmas with the Dursleys. I'm going to Gr-"

"Going where?"

"Gr- damn, I can't tell you."

"Why not? You just invited me."

"I'm not the Secret Keeper."

"You mean we'd have to tell someone?"

"More than one someone."

"No."

"At least think about it before you decide."

"Fine. Who?"

"The Secret Keeper and the people who are spending break there."

"Who's spending break there?"

"Remus Lupin and Hermione…and Ron."

"Is Lupin the Secret Keeper?"

"Um…no."

"Who is?"

"I'll tell you after you agree."

"How do I know that I can trust Lupin, Granger, and the Weasel?"

"I trust them with my life. And yours."

"But how do I know they won't rat me out?"

"Turning you in would be turning me in. Can you see any of them turning me over to Voldemort?"

"No, I can't. What about telling them about us?"

"Lupin doesn't have to know about 'us,' just that you're going to stay at Gr- with us. Hermione kinda sorta almost knows already. Ron might be a problem."

"What do you mean Granger 'kinda sorta almost knows'?

"She's seen the hickeys. She actually fixed them for me. She kept asking about my mystery girl. I was freaking out, hard to imagine, I know, and I told her that you're a mystery boy. I didn't tell her your name. And I don't think she's figured out it's you. Are you mad?"

"No. What'll happen if you tell Ron?"

"I don't know. I'm not really sure how he'll take finding out that his best friend who shares a dorm, a loo, and a Quidditch locker room with him is not only gay but gay with the person he hates most at Hogwarts."

"If he takes it poorly, I'll be here to make you feel better." He grinned obscenely.

"You know," I said back in the same manner, "I think I'm feeling bad just talking about it. Maybe you could make me feel better."

He smirked and straddled my lap. "How exactly would you like me to make you feel better?"

"Anything. As long as you're the one doing it, I'm happy."

"So you'd like it if I kiss your neck?" he asked, actions mimicking his words. I let out a contented sigh. "You'd like it if I unbutton your shirt? I like your 'mmm hmmm' noises. You'd like it if I nipped at your collarbone? How about if I laid you down and kissed you breathless?"

He pushed me onto my back, cradling my head so it wouldn't hit the stone floor then bracing his hands on the floor to hold his weight. He pressed his lips to mine, and I didn't hesitate before thrusting my tongue into his mouth. Soon his hips were grinding down onto mine creating a wonderful friction. He was rocking in rhythm with our kiss. Moving to lick my ear, he whispered, "You said like hearing me say filthy things to you. Do you think you could come like that? With my voice whispering in your ear, teasing you?"

"Try. Please, try." I figured I probably could, and it definitely helped that he didn't stop rubbing against me.

"You're gorgeous, Harry. You looked so good sitting naked on Snape's desk. Every time we have Potions, you'll look at that desk and remember how good it felt to have your cock in my mouth. I can feel you moaning and feel how hard you are for me. It feels so good to know that you want me. And I want you. Never doubt it. I want to kiss you. I want to suck your cock again. Think about it, Harry. Imagine me on my knees with your cock in my mouth. My tongue lapping up the fluid at the tip. Are you getting closer? I think you are. You're bucking up against me. I can feel it. I wonder if you like to watch, too."

I was positively squirming under him. I watched him undo his trousers and free his erection. He rocked down against me and forward into his fist. _I do like to watch_.

"You _do _like to watch. I want you so bad. You're so sexy and so hard for me. Do you like watching me touch myself? My hand on my cock while I watch you? I want to come for you, Harry. I want you to get off watching my come splatter on your chest."

He frantically tugged at his erection, and when he came I was right behind him. Much gasping and panting and _scourgifying_ took place before our detention ended. We argued a bit about bringing him to Grimmauld Place for the holidays, but it was mostly me reassuring him that it'd be okay. We parted on highly satisfied terms. I complained about my detention to Ron back at Gryffindor. He thoroughly enjoyed the Snape-bashing.

TBC.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: I appreciate the feedback. I read all the reviews.

I woke up Wednesday morning to a pillow smacking me in the face and Ron hissing angrily. "Merlin, Harry, go wank in the shower like a normal person. Your moans are going to wake everyone up." _Oh, god, please don't let me have said his name_. I was tangled in the sheets and sweating. When Ron closed his bed curtains I bolted for the showers. Even the embarrassment of being caught by Ron didn't keep my mind from going right back to my dream. Alone under the spray, I went straight back to my fantasy with the added bonus of actual stimulation. _Draco was right. I can't stop thinking about sitting on Snape's desk while he sucked me off. I felt my face flush when I thought about Draco's words. 'Imagine me on my knees with your cock in my mouth.' Cock. Even in my private fantasies I never used that word. Cock. It seems so dirty. But the way it sounds coming out of his mouth… _

I heard the door creak open. _Damn_. I froze, afraid that if I moved whoever it was would see my… condition… through the open shower stall. I heard the water in the farthest stall turn on, and I was grateful that there were several walls between us. Even with the fear of being discovered, I couldn't seem to will my erection away. I was imagining Draco on his knees in front of my in the shower with his perfect lips wrapped around my…cock. I was so hard it almost hurt. I resigned myself to the fact that I was just going to have to wank quietly. Biting my lip I resumed. My soapy hand was practically flying over my…cock. I was barely holding back my groans. I was chanting Draco's name over and over in my head when I came. I bit down on my lip so hard in my attempt to keep quiet that I tasted blood. I spit and washed my hair before I got out of the shower.

Breakfast was awkward with Ron sniggering every time he looked at me. I did my best to ignore him, but Hermione, as usual, was butting in. There was no way I was going through the same thing that happened the last time Ron told Hermione what (_he thought_) I was doing. I glared at him mid-snigger and said, "Ron Weasley, if you open your mouth I will feed you to a blast-ended skrewt."

"Harry," Hermione scolded, "the blast-ended skrewts aren't big enough to eat Ron. Sting and suck a little blood, yes. Eat, no. Why do you want to feed Ron to the blast-ended skrewts anyway?"

"Yeah, Harry, why do you want to feed me to the skrewts? What have I done to you? I'm pretty sure I saved you this morning. I'm sure a little innocent laughter doesn't warrant skrewt-feeding."

"Ron, I'm serious. Knock it off. Just shut up."

"It's not like you've never laughed at someone. Geez, Harry, _get off_ your high horse and take a little teasing _like a man_."

I walked out. Stormed out is more like it. I stomped all the way down to my classroom. _Traitor. Like it's never happened to him. How would he like it if I told Hermione about _his_ wanking habits?_ _I'm not talking to him for the rest of the day. I don't care if it's childish. He doesn't have to do this to me. Why is everything about this so hard? How did I end up in this mess? What's going to happen when he finds out about Draco? Screw this. Maybe I'll just skip Care of Magical Creatures today. I'm so tired of being the butt of his jokes and then being expected to ignore it. Why me? Why does all this shit happen to me? When do things get to be easy for me? I just want someone to be here for me. _Arms circled around me. Startled, I jerked away. I spun around and saw a concerned Draco. I threw my arms around him.

"What happened, Harry?"

"I'm fighting with Ron. Again."

"What'd he do?"

"He's acting like an arse, and I really don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. What happened to your lip?"

"I..um…nothing."

"Did Weasley hit you again?"

"No, I kinda bit it."

"That hard? What were you doing?"

"How come every time something embarrassing happens to me everyone wants to talk about it?" I walked away from him and further into the room. _Great. Walking out seems to be my new way of dealing with everything. That and crying. Nice display of Gryffindor courage, Harry. No matter how many times I want to just disappear, I always find myself exactly where I started. I am so tired of Ron and his crap. And somehow Draco is making it worse. Like I don't do enough embarrassing things _in_ his company. He wants to hear about all the stuff that happens when he's not around._

"Harry, come back here. I didn't know. I'm not going to make you talk about it. I'm here if you want to. I just…want to make you feel better. I don't like seeing you hurt. I really c—care about you."

I spun around and kissed him hard on the mouth. I was whispering "Thank you" into his mouth while I battled his tongue. He was trying to say something back, but I didn't give his mouth any latitude. I had one hand palming his…cock through his trousers and another tangled in his hair. I kissed along his neck as I started to whisper things to him. "You always know what to say. *kiss* You're wonderful, Draco. *kiss* You're beautiful. *kiss* I want to be yours."

"Yes," he groaned before gasping out, "oh, shit." _That didn't sound like an 'oh, shit, I'm going to come embarrassingly early because you're just that good.' That sounded bad. _He pulled away from me gasping. _Oh, shit._

"What? Draco, what is it?"

"No. Oh, no. Please, no." He sank into a chair. He looked paler than usual and completely terrified. I sat down beside him.

"Draco?" I said worriedly. "What's wrong?"

"He saw. Merlin, he saw us. Together."

"Who?" _Oh shit_.

"I don't know," he said, dropping his head into his hands. "I was a little distracted by you. All I could tell was that he was wearing a Gryffindor tie." _Oh, shit_.

"We have to figure out who so we can tell him to keep it quiet. Think, Draco. Was he our year? Younger? Was he tall? Short? Dark hair? Light hair? Red hair?"

"I don't know," he shouted at me. His voice cracked, and he teared up. I pulled him to me. He sagged against me. I convinced him, somehow, that I would find out which Gryffindor and make it okay. Then I told him that Gryffindor courage or not, no Gryffindor in his right mind would threaten Draco if he was with Crabbe and Goyle. He accepted this, and we hurried to our respective classes. I took a deep breath knowing I was going to face a group of suspects.

Despite managing to convince Draco that Gryffindors are too honorable to spread rumors without fact-checking first, I felt like vomiting as I made my way to Care of Magical Creatures. Draco might have believed me, but I knew it was a load of crap. I couldn't figure out if it would be better to have it be someone in my year who I might be able to convince to be quiet or if it would be better for it to be someone in another year that I would be able to avoid.

I looked around hoping for a friendly face. Hermione looked anxious. _Probably worried about me leaving. _Ron looked pissed. _Please, oh please, not Ron._ Seamus was looking elsewhere. _Seamus? Is he looking somewhere else? Or avoiding me? God, I'm paranoid._ _Get a grip, Harry_. Neville was looking at me. _Could it be Neville? No. Couldn't be. _Neville winked at me. _Yes, it is_. I had no idea what to do. Mostly I was horrified. I probably looked it. Neville smiled. _Maybe that's a good sign?_

Hagrid told us we would be working in groups to feed his latest monstrous hybrid. They were scary-looking things with lumpy boils, sharp teeth and jagged spikes on their tails. Hagrid was convinced that their spikes would be beneficial in certain potions (_doubtful)_; he had even given them names like Cupcake, Mr. Snuggles, Snowflake, and Muffin. Ron dragged Hermione away from me and snagged a Hufflepuff to work with. Hermione looked apologetically over her shoulder. Seamus and Neville came to join me. I desperately hoped that Neville wouldn't say a word. Seamus kept up a steady stream of useless chatter while we worked. Neville and I didn't have a chance to talk (_to my relief_) because we went straight to Transfiguration when our class ended. McGonagall made us work on our spoons again. I hadn't bothered practicing since our last class. After two sporks and a spatula, Neville offered to help me. Reluctantly I accepted. Neville's easygoing friendliness eased my fears a little.

I ate lunch quickly when Transfiguration was over. No one spoke to me. _Fine by me. I don't want to talk to you either._ I walked out as soon as I was done. We had a short break before Charms. I headed back to Gryffindor to grab my Charms book. Pleading last minute homework, I ducked past Ginny who, no doubt, was yet again trying to pitch her 'strategy.' As I climbed the stairs I heard her explain her strategy to Neville and ask him to pitch it to me. He told her he had the same homework.

"Harry, are you alone?" Neville asked, joining me in our dorm room. _Here's the moment of truth. What's my fate?_

"Yes," I said quietly. "It was you, wasn't it?"

"Yes," he replied, sounding as though he didn't really know what he wanted to say next.

"How much did you see?" I asked shyly.

"You had your tongue down Malfoy's throat."

"Have you told anyone?"

"No, and I'm not going to."

"Thank you." _Is it over now? Are we going to forget about this? _

"Harry, there's something I want to tell you," Neville said. This time he sounded sure but shy. "I've been dying to talk to someone, but I've never gotten up the nerve. I know you'll understand. I'm dating someone, too. A Ravenclaw. Terry Boot. I've been with him for awhile. Nobody knows about us. Only his best friend knows he's gay. I haven't told anyone about me. I'm not exactly sure how the other guys in here would react. I know you've probably been worried sick all day, but I'm kinda glad I walked in on you this morning. Now I'm not alone. You're not alone. If you ever need to talk, I'm here." I stared, absolutely gobsmacked. I tried to say something, but it came out as more of a squeak than words. "Harry?"

"Talk about what, Neville?"

"Anything."

"Anything? I mean, would you be okay talking about se…personal stuff?"

"Draco's your first, isn't he?"

"I…yes." _Here we go again. Harry the blushing virgin._

"You don't have to be embarrassed. Everyone has a first. We can talk more later. We should go so we're not late for Charms. Hermione would have a fit."

As it turned out, Hermione was too engaged in arguing with Ron to even take note of our arrival. She huffed and puffed and all but blew the castle down before throwing up her hands and leaving Ron by himself while she took a place next to me. Neville looked at me and shrugged before taking Hermione's abandoned seat next to a fuming Ron. _Good. I don't care what they were fighting about as long as she won_. While we practiced the new spells Professor Flitwick had written on the board, Hermione kept up a stream of chatter that threatened my concentration but ultimately, in true Hermione fashion, couldn't be stopped.

"I told Ron that I don't want to know what the two of you are fighting about because clearly you don't want me to know. He started to protest. A swift kick put an end to that (_That's my Hermione_). He seems hell-bent on irritating you and doesn't really seem to care if he has to embarrass you to do it. I think there's something bothering him. You've been a little distant lately. I know why, and that's okay. You deserve it. I just think that maybe Ron knows that something's going on and that he feels left out. He gets that way a lot, you know. He'd never tell you. I'm not saying you should tell him about what you're up to. That's your decision. But maybe you could spend a little more time with him."

"Professor," I said raising my hand, "may I please be excused to go to the loo?" Having sat with Hermione my spellwork had been satisfactory so he agreed. Not actually having to go, I paced back and forth in front of the sinks. Alone, I started thinking out loud. "I am one person. I should not have to deal with this much. We have all this stupid work to do and a Quidditch game tonight. There's all this stuff I have to figure out. And I hate fighting with Ron but he won't tell me what's bothering him and lying to him is so hard. ARGH."

"Maybe he'd tell you what's bothering him if you told him what you're lying about," Ron said, startling me. I didn't hear him come in.

"Ron," I said rather pointlessly.

"I know you're hiding something from me. Don't you trust me?"

"Yes, I do. But it's not just about me."

"You and who else, then?"

"Ron, I can't tell you that."

"Why am I always second rate? Everyone trusts you, but they just skip over me. Like I'm stupid and untrustworthy and unimportant."

"It's not like that, Ron."

"What's it like, Harry?"

"I'm…dating someone. We agreed not to tell anyone yet. You're my best friend, Ron, but I promised. It's not like you tell me everything."

"What are you talking about?"

"Hermione. I'm not stupid. I know what you two are up to. But I figured the two of you weren't ready for me to know yet, so I never said anything. We just need to keep our secret to ourselves for a little while. Please, Ron, can't you understand that?"

"Is it Ginny?"

"No."

"Okay, then. Mum's the word."

_Thank god_.

TBC.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

Dinner was smooth sailing. I ate with gusto. For what felt like the first time in a long time, there was nothing hanging over my head to spoil my appetite. Hermione wasn't prying. Ron wasn't fighting me. Neville wasn't going to squeal on me. And Draco was mine. Hermione buried her head in a book while the Quidditch team talked strategy for the game. I was glad we were playing against Ravenclaw. I didn't think I could handle battling Draco for the snitch right now. I was hoping for a minute to sneak away to tell him things were okay with Neville, but I never got the chance. Though we were well prepared, Ron could not stop talking game.

The game went well. Ginny didn't attempt her 'strategy.' Roger Davies was definitely paying attention to her, but she didn't do any 'blatant putting out,' as Ron calls it. _I have to agree with him on that one, and from experience, how that girl can put out. _Ron made a spectacular save right before I caught the snitch. If he hadn't, we would have lost the game to Ravenclaw. A chorus of the Gryffindor rendition of "Weasley is Our King" echoed around as we landed. I always made a point to give my congratulations or condolences to the other team's captain. _Well, unless we play Slytherin. They play dirty, no courtesy._ The Ravenclaw captain was a girl a year older than me whose name I could never remember. I felt bad that I always forgot. I had seen her play Quidditch for years. I just never used her name if I could help it.

"That was a good game," I told her. "You almost had us there."

"Thanks, your keeper had a good save there at the end."

"I'll tell him you said that. He'll appreciate it."

"Harry, I'd like to chat for a minute about one of your chasers."

"Sure. Do you mind if I go have a quick word with my team before they disperse?"

"I should do that, too. Meet back here in ten minutes?"

I agreed and headed to the locker rooms. A quick congratulatory speech and much Ron-praise later, I went back out to meet the Ravenclaw captain. I wished I had had time to take a shower first. Scrubbing the sweat off would have to wait. I did, however, put my broom away and take off my gloves. I got outside a few minutes before she did. She was out of breath when she ran up.

"Sorry it took so long. I had to break up a little spat."

"I hope it wasn't too serious. Were they arguing about the game?"

"They were arguing about one of your chasers."

"Which one?" I asked with a feeling that I already knew the answer.

"The Weasley girl. Roger Davies and one of the beaters were getting pretty heated about it. Apparently, Roger is unpopular right now. He was a little distracted during the game. Because your chaser was flirting with him."

"I told her not to."

"You knew she was going to?"

"I thought she'd given up on the idea. We all told her not to do it. She heard rumors that Roger Davies has some great secret crush on her and that flirting would be a good game strategy. I'll have a talk with her."

"Thanks. I didn't really think you were the kind of captain who would go for that. Slytherin, yes. You, not so much. Great game, by the way."

She went on her way, and I went back to the Gryffindor locker room. I was glad to find it empty already. Most of the team was probably gathering for the post-game party in the common room. After a leisurely shower in a (_finally_) moment of peace, I intended to join them. It took a little bit of effort to pull off my (_disgustingly_) sweat-soaked uniform. I grabbed a clean towel and headed to the showers. I felt the scar on my shoulder as I washed. I thought about what I had told Draco that first night about Uncle Vernon and Dudley. And what I hadn't told him. _Why must everything be difficult? _With a sigh, I turned the spray off. I dried off as I walked to the lockers. I heard a cough off to the side by the door, and dropped my towel to cover up when I turned around. To say I was surprised to see Draco would be an understatement.

"Why are you in here?" I asked, still holding my towel around my waist.

"Because my very naked boyfriend is in here, alone. And I'd really like it if you just happened to drop that towel." He stalked toward me. For every step he took forward, I took one back until I was backed against a wall.

"Draco, you really shouldn't be in here." _Please, go away. Let me get dressed. Ever heard of modesty? _

"The Gryffindors are gone. I waited."

"Let me get dressed. Then we can talk."

"You're already naked. Fun first. Talk second."

"Draco, I just want to get dressed."

"Go ahead. I'm not stopping you."

"Can you just wait outside so I can get dressed in peace?"

"Yesterday you were just fine with being naked. Now you've got something to be ashamed of?

"Yes," I snapped. Perhaps I was a little short with him, but maybe he should expect to get a little attitude when he surprises naked people.

"Fine. I'll be outside. Under the stands. Waiting for you."

He slammed the door on his way out. I spent more time preparing to face what I expected to be a fight than I did getting dressed. I took a deep breath as I walked outside. I ducked under the stands but didn't see him. _Oh, shit. I've messed this up_. I was about to duck back out when I heard a little sniffling in the shadows. _Oh, shit. I've _really_ messed this up_. He was sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest. I sat next to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me," he growled. _Oh-kay. _I moved my hand away. "Is this some kind of experiment where you screw with my feelings? Because it's shit, Potter."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"You only want me when it suits you. 'Touch me, don't touch me.' Then one second you're fine with everything and we're messing around in the dungeons and the next day it's 'Draco, go away. I don't want you to see me naked again.'"

"It's not like that," I protested, though I could see how he might take it that way.

"Then what's it like? Because I bought into they shy inexperienced bit. Because I understood that. I felt the same way. I'm just a bit more reckless going forward than you are. And that's fine. But this? I have seen you naked. More than once. I have had my hand down your pants and your cock in my mouth. And now you can't even get dressed in front of me?"

"Draco, I…it's not what you think."

"What are you so ashamed of then, if it's not being with me?"

"Is that really what you think? That I'm ashamed of being with you?"

"Yes," he whispered so softly that I almost missed it.

"Draco, don't doubt that I want you. I don't regret a single second of being with you. I'll shout it to the world if you that's what you want. I'm sorry I hurt you. I've never cared about anyone as much as I care about you. How do I make you feel better?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you care about me?" He looked so sad and so scared. I brushed tears from his eyes and kissed his cheek.

"Draco, you are amazing. You're smart. And strong. And supportive. And beautiful. And…"

"Harry?" I heard Ron calling. _Oh, shit._

"Go, Harry, before he finds us."

"Five minutes before curfew. Outside the Slytherin dorms. I'll be there."

He nodded, and I ducked out from under the stands. I snuck up behind Ron and made it look like I had just left the locker room. He made an exasperated noise about my absence and dragged me back to Gryffindor. The party was still in full swing. Ron was soaking up praise from the team. I had my eye out for Ginny. I had not forgotten about what she did to Roger Davies. I wound my way through the room politely acknowledging congratulations to get to her.

"Ginny, a word please."

"Sure. Katie and I were just talking about the game."

"Alone."

"Of course, Harry," she said in that really annoying voice she uses when she thinks she's won something. "Excuse me, Katie." Ginny grabbed my hand to lead me to a quiet corner. She kept her hand resting on mine even after we stopped moving. _She's acting like she did when…no. _

"I talked to the Ravenclaw captain after the game. Did you know that two of her players got in a fight after the game because of you? I told you not to flirt with Roger Davies during the game. What part of that was unclear to you?"

"It was a good idea, Harry. It's why we won the game."

"We won the game because Ron made a great save when Ravenclaw was kicking our ass, despite your attempts to seduce their players."

"We won, Harry. Why are you so upset?"

"It was a cheap shot, Ginny. As a team we voted against your plan. Not only did you decide that you were more important than the team, you were an embarrassment to the team." I was seething, but trying to keep my voice even. _What is wrong with this girl?_ _And why didn't I bring Ron to have a Weasley-to-Weasley argument?_

"I think," Ginny started, trailing her fingers up and down my arm. _She's not going to… She wouldn't…Would she?_ "You're jealous. You don't want me to flirt with Roger because you miss me. You want me back."

"Ginny, that is ridic—" She cut off my sentence by kissing me. _Kissing me. _I put my hands on her shoulders to push her back, but not fast enough because her tongue was already poking at my lips. _Bleh. _I had a very strong urge to gag. As politely as I could, I shoved my way through the crowd back over to Ron. Ginny was trailing behind me.

"Hi, Harry," Ron said. His excitement dropped a bit when he saw the angry set to my face. Ginny was practically pressed against me. "What's wrong?"

"Get her under control," I said through gritted teeth, pointing at his sister.

"What did you do?" he asked her in a voice that was scarily similar to Mrs. Weasley.

"Nothing," she smiled back 'innocently' as she tried to stick her hand down the back of my trousers. I jerked away.

"Touch me again and I will hex you into next week," I barked at her. I apologized to Ron as I turned my back and walked up the stairs. A fair number of Gryffindors had stopped talking to watch the drama. _Great_. I was feeling a bit embarrassed at the scene we had made, but Ginny had no right to put her hand _down my pants. _I was expecting Ron to follow me and yell at me in Ginny's defense. It was actually several minutes before he joined me. I was surprised that Hermione came with him. Perhaps she thought we needed a chaperone.

"Ginny just said something ridiculous about you wanting her back and getting mad when she said no. Earlier you told me that you're dating someone else, and I believe you. What did she do?"

Hermione jumped into the conversation, "What do you mean Harry's dating someone else?"

"Sorry," Ron cringed. "Secret. Damn."

"It's okay, Ron," I told him. To Hermione I said, "I told Ron earlier that I've been ducking out on you guys because I'm dating someone."

"He didn't tell me her name, though," Ron added.

"I see," Hermione said. That's all she added. I was glad. "Anyway, Ginny's story was a little…off. What really happened?"

"Well, it started as a talk about the Quidditch game. The Ravenclaw captain told me that one of her chasers picked a fight with Roger Davies because he spent the game watching her because she was flirting with him. After I told her not to. After you told her not to. After _everyone_ told her not to. I was giving her a private reprimand for not listening and being an embarrassment to Gryffindor. I didn't think she, or you, would appreciate a public dressing-down. I'm mad at her, but I didn't want to humiliate her. She told me that I'm not mad about Quidditch and that I'm really upset because I'm jealous that she was flirting with Roger Davies because I want her back. Then she kissed me. She followed me over to you and tried to…" I trailed off. I wasn't really sure I should tell Ron what his little sister tried to do, but the first half of the sentence had already left my mouth.

"Tried to what?" Ron said narrowing his eyes. I sighed.

"Does it really matter?"

"Yes, it matters. What did she do?"

"It's going to make you angry, and I really don't want you to make things worse by yelling at her."

"Angrier than Quidditch? She's already going to get yelled at for that. And if you don't tell me, I'll make her."

"I doubt you could, but fine. While she was talking to you and standing half behind me, she tried to put her hand down the back of my trousers."

"WHAT?" The Weasley flush was reaching his hairline by the time he spit out that one word.

"Is there any possible way that it was maybe an accident?"

"Hermione, I think I know when someone is trying to put a hand down my trousers."

"I'd like to tell you, Harry, that I won't say anything to her. But she will be getting an earful. By the time I'm done, she'll wish it had been Mum yelling at her. You won't say anything about her, will you? I know it was very very wrong, but I don't want it getting out."

"Trust me. There is no way I'm telling."

"Ginny's gone upstairs," Hermione told me. "Are you coming back down?"

"I have a date tonight." I blushed. _Great, blushing again. Damn it, face, stop changing colors_. Ron and Hermione both smirked at me, though I suspect for different reasons, before rejoining the festivities. Knowing it was still a little early, I threw my cloak on. No one noticed the portrait hole's opening and closing. _Gryffindors. Not the most observant bunch. The probably all figured they just didn't see the person. Which is technically true. But kind of pathetic because who knows who could have snuck in. _

TBC. After all those silly Gryffindors, it's time for some Slytherin.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I paced quietly back and forth in front of the entrance to Slytherin. I was early and anxious. Draco suddenly appeared in front of me. Checking to make sure the corridor was empty, I pulled the cloak off, sure to rustle quite a bit so as not to scare him. He smiled at me. He looked like he thought I might not come. I pulled him under the cloak and told him to stay close. We made our way slowly to our classroom which was, thankfully, somewhat close to the Slytherin dorms. I dropped the cloak when we got inside and tossed a few charms at the door. I wanted to kiss the doubt from him, but there were a few things I needed to tell him. I transfigured a few chairs into a sofa that was wider at one end than the other, but it looked sturdy enough.

"There's some stuff we should talk about before we do anything else," I said.

"I know," he sighed. "Where do you want to start?"

"Let's start with what happened this morning. I know who saw us. It was Neville. He said he won't say anything."

"Besides that Gryffindor honor bullshit, what's our guarantee?"

"He understands."

"Understands what?"

"It seems I'm not the only Gryffindor with a secret boyfriend."

"So if Longbottom tells, we tell?"

"Yes. If you want to hear it from him, I'm sure I can get him to talk to you. Next topic. Something happened in Gryffindor tonight that you should know about. Ginny Weasley went a little crazy."

"What does that mean, Harry?"

"She kissed me and tried to put her hand down my pants. I threatened to hex her if she touched me again. Ron did, too." I cringed. _Please don't hate me_.

"Did you like it?"

"No. Definitely not. It was rather disgusting, actually. You can ask anyone who saw. I don't think anyone's going to say anything about it, but I want you to know the truth."

"I don't need to ask anyone. I trust you."

"You're the only one I want to kiss."

"Then kiss me." I took the invitation, but broke it short.

"We still need to talk about what happened after the Quidditch game. I'm not sorry I'm with you. I don't regret anything we've done. I'm not ashamed to be with you."

"I want to believe you, but I still just don't understand. Why did you kick me out of the locker room?"

"Do you remember what you said to me that first night in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom?"

"Every word. Which part are you talking about?"

"When I wanted you to unbutton your shirt, you told me you couldn't let me see your scars. Sometimes I still feel that way. You know more about it than anyone, but sometimes I just…I still feel..."

"But, Harry, I've already seen your scars. They don't change anything."

"You haven't seen all of them, Draco. That's what I'm ashamed of. Of you seeing. Not of being with you. I didn't expect you to be there. I was afraid you'd see. I wasn't trying to hurt you. And I'm sorry. I just…I panicked. I'm sorry…I just…I couldn't…"

"I understand. I was just scared that you'll decide that I'm not good enough for you."

"Never. Do you still want me to kiss you?"

"Always."

Without a second's hesitation, I brought my lips to his. He leaned into me. I wrapped my arms around him as we kissed. It was soft and sweet and I never wanted it to end. In that moment I knew, somehow, everything would be okay. Draco would never leave me. Ron wouldn't kill Draco. We'd all be safe at Grimmauld Place. Voldemort and Lucius would die. And I'd get a happily ever after. _We_ would get a happily ever after. We were both breathless by the time we pulled apart.

"I don't want to go, Harry. But we should before we get caught."

"I know."

"Potions tomorrow. I wonder what your face will look like when you see Snape's desk. I'll watch as you look at it and remember sitting on it while I sucked you off."

"Draco," I groaned, "stop. I'll never get to sleep if you do this to me."

"You will if I take care of it."

"You said we—" I drew in a sharp breath as he touched me, "—have to go."

"I'd hate to not use this time alone with you."

"Wait. Please. Let me talk. I don't want everything to be about sex. I want more than that."

"So do I. But that doesn't mean we can't use our time wisely."

"I want you. But it's too fast, Draco; I'm sorry. It's new, and I don't think I'm as brave as you. I have to breathe. I can't just keep rushing forward. I feel so close to you. I don't want to mess this up. I panic. You've seen me panic. And it hurts your feelings. I hate that. I'm sorry. I can't help it. And I can't breathe. I'm sorry."

"Harry, look at me," he instructed. Reluctantly I complied. "It's okay. I promise it's okay. I didn't realize I was pushing. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I'd never. Take me back to Slytherin and you can give me a proper, sweet goodnight kiss."

I nodded. We walked back under the cloak. I gave him a small kiss and watched him go. I walked slowly back to Gryffindor. It was late, and I was surprised to see Neville sitting alone in the common room. He gestured for me to sit next to him. I did. I was still coming down from my panic attack and knew I wouldn't be able to sleep yet anyway. I didn't really know what we were supposed to talk about. Our conversation earlier left a lot of (_somewhat embarrassing_) options. He started.

"When you weren't here at curfew, I figured you had a date with Draco."

"Shhhh. I don't want anyone to hear you."

"Everyone else is in bed. And we're facing the stairs. You look a little jumpy. Are you okay?"

"Yes," I said quickly. "Well, sort of… No, not really."

"What happened?"

"He's kind of…sensitive. And I'm kind of…prone to panic attacks. And apparently my Gryffindor courage does not apply to sexual situations. God, this is embarrassing," I said, knowing that I was going to go through with this conversation if it killed me. No matter what Draco said, I knew this stuff bothered him.

"Harry, I've been with Terry for awhile. I have had every embarrassing situation you can think of. Talk to me."

"Where do I start?"

"Wherever you want."

"Did Dean tell you about Hermione coming into the boys' loo while he was in there?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure if he was more upset that she came in or that she said she had no interest in looking at him. He said you were sick."

"I was…upset. I'd been with Draco before I came back. It was the first time I… and I, um…" I whispered the last part, "I choked when he…and then I kind of spewed…everywhere."

"The first time I tried that with Terry, I gagged so much I couldn't even finish. It takes practice. And from the way he kissed you, I don't think Draco would mind a little practice. What's next?"

"I'm nervous about being naked. He's seen one half, but I don't know if I could handle if he saw the rest."

"Are we talking top half?" Neville questioned.

"Front half."

"You're worried about the scars on your back, aren't you?"

"Yes," I mouthed more than whispered.

"You don't look like you're ready to talk about this. And you don't have to. Not with me. Not even with him. If he can't respect that, well, you deserve better. Go to bed. There's always tomorrow if you want to talk more."

I followed Neville up to bed. I fell asleep faster than I thought I would. I spent the night dreaming about Draco walking in on me naked. Over and over and over again. Sometimes he hugged me. Sometimes he laughed. Sometimes he pretended not to notice. Sometimes he left me. I woke up not knowing if I would ever find the courage to show him.

TBC. Short chapter, but it's a good break point.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I dressed, packed my bag, and went down to breakfast with Ron and Hermione without a word. _How come it feels like Draco is the best thing that's ever happened to me, but half the time I cry and can't eat?_ I was upset about things that were happening, and even things that _weren't _happening. I wondered for a minute if I'd been infected with psycho when Ginny touched me. _I wonder if there's a spell that can fix that?_ I managed toast. I was afraid to look at the Slytherin table. I didn't even know if Draco had come to breakfast. I was too embarrassed to look at Neville. Hermione had her head in a book. Ron was stuffing his face. I managed small-talk with Seamus and Dean who framed me on either side. It was peaceful in the Great Hall. For a few minutes, at least. Then Ginny came in and the crazy let loose. She squeezed herself into the space between me and Seamus that was so small that most of her ended up in my lap.

"Harry, how could you say that stuff to Ron yesterday?" she pouted, throwing her arms around my neck.

"Because it's true," I said, pushing her off my lap and (_sorry_) sort of onto Seamus.

"But it's _private_," she whined, putting a hand on my knee.

"It's not private. It's team business," I said, slapping her hand.

"Not that," she whispered conspiratorially in my ear.

"That's all there is," I told her pointedly.

"I mean the part about us," she clarified, and she put a hand, without prelude, on my crotch. Dean choked on a piece of bacon. Seamus muttered 'whoa' under his breath. I upended a glass of pumpkin juice over Ginny's head and apologized to Seamus for the splatter.

"I told you to keep your filthy hands off me, you harlot."

She shrieked and pulled her wand. Seamus grabbed it from her hand before she had a chance to use it. McGonagall was stalking her way over when Ginny ran out of the Great Hall, soaking wet and screaming. Seamus handed Ginny's wand to a furious McGonagall.

"With me, Mr. Potter," she said. I was surprised to hear her voice so even. Then again, McGonagall wasn't really one for outbursts. I knew it was going to be bad, but I couldn't help thinking that at least I wasn't left with Ron. I hoped whatever McGonagall was going to do to me wasn't too harsh. I mean, it was Ginny's fault anyway. McGonagall and I heard her in a screaming match as we left the Great Hall. We couldn't see, but the voices carried down the stone corridors.

"Shut up. I'm not like that," Ginny yelled.

"Yes, you are," Draco said calmly. _Draco?_ "You whored yourself out, unsuccessfully I might add, to win the Quidditch game. Is Gryffindor that desperate now? And now you're acting like the slut you are grabbing Potter in public. Again. What, a Gryffindor audience not enough for you? Now the whole castle knows how much you want the Boy Who Lived."

"Shut Up," Ginny shouted. "I'm not a slut and I'm not a whore."

"You're right," Draco was saying when we first caught sight of them. "I don't need to say it. Everyone knows. You might as well have just stood up on the Gryffindor table and stripped."

"That is enough, Mr. Malfoy," McGonagall huffed. "The three of you, follow me to my office. Consider yourselves lucky that I'm not taking you straight to the Headmaster."

We followed McGonagall to her office. Ginny and McGonagall took the lead. Draco and I followed behind. He came up right behind me and grabbed my arse as he whispered, "Mine" into my ear. Now _that's_ the kind of groping I like. I stood quietly next to Draco while Ginny shot us dirty looks. McGonagall demanded that we explain ourselves. No one volunteered to go first.

"Mr. Potter," she said, "the first show of childish, reprehensible behavior came from you. Perhaps you can explain to me why you dumped juice on Miss Weasley."

"She was being grabby." _There. That's probably the least explicit way to say this to my Head of House. _

"And this excuses juice-dumping and name-calling?"

"She put her hand. In. My. Lap," I said pointedly. "Last night, she tried to put her hand. Down. My. Trousers. Apparently it took juice to make my point."

"There is no need to take that tone with me, Mr. Potter. Miss Weasley, are Mr. Potter's accusations true?"

"I, um, it's not, um," Ginny stammered.

"I see," she said before turning to Draco. "Mr. Malfoy, explain how you became involved in a juvenile name-calling session with Miss Weasley here."

"I didn't say anything that wasn't true, Professor." _Is he trying to get himself detention? _

"If Professor Snape were in the castle this morning, I would hand your punishment over to him. Seeing as he is not, you are left with me. Mr. Potter and Mr. Malfoy, the language you have chosen to use this morning is unacceptable. Mr. Potter, there is no excuse for talking to a fellow student that way. If you have a problem with a housemate, the proper action is to find an adult. Mr. Potter, three detentions for you for the juice and for language. Mr. Malfoy, three detentions for you, for language and lewd comments. Miss Weasley, you will have two detentions for inappropriately touching Mr. Potter, and we will be having a meeting with your parents. Miss Weasley, do not protest. My decision is final."

"Professor," I started.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, your detention will be separate from Miss Weasley. Tonight, tomorrow night, and Monday night, all three of you will report to my office promptly at seven. Additionally, twenty house points from each of you, and I never want to hear of you three behaving like this again. You are dismissed. I suggest you hurry or you will be late for your lessons."

I had Care of Magical Creatures first. I suppose it was best to get the Gryffindor interrogation over with sooner than later. I arrived last. Seamus and Dean were snickering. Neville looked sympathetic. Ron looked furious, though whether with me or with Ginny I couldn't tell. Hermione looked torn. The Hufflepuffs weren't looking at us at all. Hagrid had missed breakfast and it appeared that no one had told him what happened. _Which is fine by me_. We were working in groups again. The Hufflepuffs avoided us like plague. Neville led Ron and Hermione away, leaving me with Seamus and Dean. It made me wonder what exactly Ron had said after I left. Hagrid was having us draw and label the plinkerdoos. My group went to sit in front of Cupcake, who was farthest away from the group. Seamus, of course, was the first to comment on breakfast.

"What was up with Ginny this morning, mate?"

"I don't know. I don't want to know."

"Did she really do it yesterday, too?" Dean questioned. My lack of answer seemed to be answer enough.

"I thought you two broke up?" Seamus asked.

"We did. I don't know what's gotten into her, but she won't leave me alone."

"What happened after you left? One of the Ravenclaws said she heard that Ginny and Malfoy were arguing."

"He was in the hallway calling her a whore."

"Who's in the most trouble?" Dean asked.

"I suppose Ginny is."

"How did you manage that?"

"Well, all three of us have detention, but Ginny is the only one who has parents coming. Can you guys tell me what happened with Ron after I left? I'm worried about how he…took it."

"I'm not really sure how he took it. I think Hermione's trying to help him figure it out," Dean told me. "We're not really sure if he's angrier at you for calling his sister a harlot or at his sister for groping his best friend in public. He's really quite torn. I'm not planning on asking him."

"I second," Seamus added. I agreed and concentrated on my classwork. Since class was a hands-off activity, we all left without injury. Potions was not nearly as pain-free. Hermione let me work near Ron, so we could have a chance to 'bond' again. _Like we need to bond. Hermione, we're _men_, men do not bond after awkward situations. _I endured Snape's comments by gritting my teeth and remembering how Draco and I used his desk. The latter brought a flush to my face that lasted the entire lesson, but I convinced everyone that I was just embarrassed about the attention I was getting from the scene with Ginny. Well, everyone except Draco. He knew exactly what I was thinking about, and he took every opportunity to make crude gestures. When Ron told Draco to stop making lewd hand motions about his sister, Snape took five points from Gryffindor because Ron was 'harassing a fellow student who was merely trying to do his assignment.' _How come now that Draco and I are snogging, Gryffindor is losing more points because of the two of us than it did when we were fighting?_ Somehow, despite the drama, I managed to brew a more-than-passable potion, and the essay I turned in wasn't even wrinkled. Snape appeared annoyed that he couldn't find something to criticize.

Lunch was uneventful. Ginny didn't show her face. It seemed like the Gryffindors had been properly threatened to leave the subject alone, probably by a very angry Ron. We were all looking forward to Defense Against the Dark Arts since it had been cancelled on Tuesday. I was glad we had a sane professor this year and hoped we wouldn't lose her to the Curse of DADA. I wondered if I should give her a message for Lupin about my Christmas plan, but I hadn't yet mustered the courage. We spent the class period practicing blocking hexes. We were partnered up for the exercise. As a rule, Tonks never let us practice with a partner from our own house, so I ended up across the room from Ron and Hermione. I hadn't yet told them about my detentions. I broke the news to them after class while we were doing homework before dinner. They both seemed to have anticipated it.

Dinner was also uneventful. Ginny stared at her plate while she ate silently. I was wondering if this would be the night that Mr. and Mrs. Weasley would be coming. I really hoped that I would not have to talk to them. _I love them like family, but I do not want to explain that their only daughter groped me twice in front of people. _Draco, Ginny, and I stood uncomfortably in the corridor waiting for McGonagall. When she arrived, she told Ginny to wait for her there while she took me and Draco to our detention. She escorted us to the Trophy Room and explained that we would be cleaning Everything. She explained that the room would not let us out until we had completed our task and that "Any shenanigans will be punished with additional detentions and a trip to Professor Dumbledore." She charmed the door on her way out. I didn't know how Draco and I kept managing to score unsupervised detentions, but I wasn't going to complain about it.

"I guess we should get started," I said lamely.

"You never stop and think, do you?"

"What?"

"It won't let us out until we are finished with everything."

"Yes. So we have to do it."

"But if we do all of it but one item, we buy ourselves some free time."

"You are a genius."

"I know. I can't believe it took you this long to figure it out."

We put aside a few items so that we wouldn't accidentally clean everything. We actually worked very quickly. We were probably supposed to use the rags and buckets and such, but McGonagall never forbid us to use magic. When we were 'finished,' Draco shucked off his robes and transfigured them into a cushion for the stone floor. He called it a cushion. It looked more like a thin mattress to me. I eyed it warily. _Does this mean he wants to…_

"I'm not asking you to touch me. I just thought we'd be more comfortable if we had something to sit on."

"I know," I told him.

"No, you didn't," he said taking my hand. "You wondered. I could see it on your face."

"Draco, I…" _I, what?_

"You don't have to pretend. It's okay."

"I'm sorry."

"You don't have to keep saying you're sorry."

"I'm scared, Draco," I said, sitting down on the cushion.

"Scared of what?" he asked, sitting next to me.

"I know it worries you and hurts your feelings when I get like…this. I'm scared that you'll doubt me and leave. I've never felt about anyone the way I feel about you. I've never told anyone else the things I've told you. But what if you see what's left and…I'm afraid of what you'll think of me. I'm afraid you'll leave. I'm afraid I might break if you knew what they…I can't… I have to…have to go. Let's just finish so we can go." Crying, I went to get up, but he grabbed my wrist.

"Stay. Don't walk away from me."

"I can't handle this."

"Kick, scream, cry, swear, just don't walk away from me."

"Draco, please. Let me go. I can't handle this."

"_W__E_ can handle this. Together. You don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to show me anything. Just stay. Trust me."

"Oh—okay." I took a deep breath to steady myself. I flopped backward, pulling Draco along with me. We stared up, flat on our backs. "How high do you think the ceiling is?"

"I don't know, Harry. Why do you want to know?"

"I just need something to think about."

"Tell me about Muggles."

"What about Muggles?"

"Well, Muggles can't fly or play Exploding Snap or Wizards' Chess or Quidditch. What do they do for fun?"

"Muggles have regular chess. It's like Wizards' Chess except the pieces don't move by themselves. They watch movies."

"What are movies?"

"They're moving pictures with sound."

"You know what else Muggles do for fun?"

"What?"

"Well, when Muggles are left unsupervised with a sexy blond, they tend to snog." I rolled on top of him and proceeded to do just that. I licked along his lips. He opened his mouth, and I eagerly explored. He pulled back for a breath; I attached myself to his neck.

"We *gasp* don't have to *moan* do this."

"I want to," I told him, switching to the other side of his neck and pressing my hips down against his. He moaned and wrapped his legs around my waist. Still rutting against him, I kept talking. "You're amazing, Draco. I want to make you feel good. What do you want, Draco?"

"This," he groaned. Hooking his ankles together, he pulled me as close as he could. "You feel so good on top of me. That's all I want. You. Kiss me. Make me come."

I bit down on his neck and somehow managed to wriggle a hand between us to pinch at one of his nipples. He cried out and thrusted erratically against me. I felt a burst of warmth when he came. The feel of it pushed me over the edge. I collapsed onto him, panting. When we composed ourselves again, we finished our detention and returned to our respective dorms. I did homework with Ron and Hermione before bed.

TBC.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: We're starting into time-lapse territory. If I write out every day, we will never get to the good stuff. I promise not to completely abandon plot in my efforts to write more smut.

I woke up to Ron staring at me. We hadn't had a proper conversation since the scene with Ginny. What was I supposed to say? _Sorry that I called your sister a whore? I'm not sorry. She was so far out of line. I wouldn't blame him if he was mad at me. Well, maybe I would a little._ I didn't need us to fight about this. I was still worried about how he was going to take my news about Draco when I got around to telling him.

"I know we have to talk about this eventually. How mad are you?" I asked.

"I not. Not anymore. If a girl had done that to me, I'd have done the same thing, best mate's sister or not. Mostly I think I'm just embarrassed. My sister's acting like a maniac. My best mate's yelling at her in public. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I'm glad you told me about your girlfriend before all this happened."

For a split second I considered telling him the truth. Instead, I agreed with him, and we went down to breakfast. I went about my day looking forward to detention. _Never thought I'd think that. Please, please, let McGonagall leave us alone again._ At Hermione's insistence, I spent all my spare time between classes and before dinner doing homework. I found that having something to do in my free time made me more focused on actually getting that free time.

McGonagall and Draco were in her office when I arrived at seven. Ginny was nowhere in sight. She hadn't said a word to me since the juice (_not that I mind_), but she had given me dirty looks at every opportunity. Without a word, McGonagall motioned for us to follow her. She locked the office and led us to a musty storeroom.

"It seems the items we used in Transfiguration have not exactly been put away or maintained. Clean as necessary, and put it away neatly. Shenanigans will not be tolerated and will be punished. You will be locked in here until you are finished. Dusting rags are on the table to your right." She charmed the door on her way out.

"She didn't forbid magic. Same plan of attack as yesterday, my sneaky Slytherin?"

Leaving a stack of dusty goblets by the door, Draco and I went to work. We started on opposite sides of the room. I had transfigured my robe into a 'cushion' while he wasn't looking, so when we met in the middle, I tackled him. We fell back, and he landed with a big 'oof.'

"Turn the lights down," I told him. He muttered something, and the flames in the wall sconces flared before almost flickering out. It was enough to see but not enough to _see_. It was perfect.

"Why?" he asked, holding my face in his hands.

"I want to hold you. I want to touch you. But I don't want you to…I don't want to be afraid."

"Whatever you want."

"I need you to…"

"To what?"

"To start this. I want you, but my heart is in my throat. I need you." He whispered "Yes" against my lips and did just that. He put my hands on the buttons to his shirt. I undid it while he undid mine. I pushed his off; he left mine around my shoulders. His hands worked at my trousers while his lips worked at my neck.

"I want to take this all off of you. I want to feel you, touch you, taste you. Do you want the lights lower?"

"No. This is fine. Thank you." It took some twisting and flailing to rid ourselves of shoes, socks, trousers, pants, and my shirt. But it was worth it to have his entire, gloriously naked, body stretched out under mine. He was kissing me breathless. I closed my eyes and tried to block out all my fears and insecurities. Feeling safe in the dark, I wrapped my fingers around his…cock. I kissed down his neck and down his chest. He twined his fingers in my hair when I stopped to suck at his nipple. Experimentally I nipped a little and got a "Merlin, yes" in response. I kissed south some more. I licked along the length of his…cock, only remembering to hold his hips down when he thrust upward. Concentrating on breathing through my nose, I licked the head and sucked it into my mouth. I worked slowly so as not to choke. I took a little more into my mouth and stroked the rest with my hand.

"Harry," Draco moaned. "I'm going to…"

I pulled back in time to avoid choking. He splattered come across my chest. A muttered spell and a quick roll later, I was on my back watching Draco suck my…cock. I was moaning in a way that would have been embarrassing if I had actually realized what I was doing. He had one hand on my hip and the other caressing my balls. When his finger pressed against the soft skin just behind them, I came. I used cleaning spell on us and the remaining goblets before sending them soaring to a shelf with a flick of my wand. The door clicked open. Startled, we hurried to dress before we were discovered.

Slytherin used Saturday for Quidditch practice. Gryffindor Quidditch team held a meeting. It was the first time I had to talk to Ginny. We talked about our last game. We discussed the weak spots in our strategy. I pointedly didn't mention Ginny, but someone else did. We scheduled our next practice and broke up without the usual camaraderie. I suppose berating the slutty girl takes the fun out of things when her brother's there to keep the jokes to a minimum. The rest of the weekend was full of homework, Ron, Hermione, and an uncomfortable chat with Neville.

Draco and I had to share our Monday detention with two first year Hufflepuffs. Apparently, McGonagall had found them trying to transfigure each other into water glasses. Classes were boring, and the homework piled up. Draco and I had trouble finding moments to sneak away together. Ginny behaved during our Quidditch match against Hufflepuff. We won by a wide margin. A month later Ron still thought I had a girlfriend, Hermione didn't know Draco's name, and I still hadn't talked to Lupin about bringing Draco to Grimmauld Place.

Somehow, in mid-October we had another Potions incident. I don't know how it happened this time. I was working with Ron, Hermione with Draco. Somehow, both cauldrons shot bubbling green guck sky-high. Ron had the misfortune of being showered with most of it. He was sent to the hospital wing while Snape assigned Draco, Hermione, and me to detention. Snape left us in unsupervised detention, again (_how does Dumbledore not know that Snape's leaving all the time to go to Voldemort?_). He made sure that Draco was the only one with a wand before he locked us in. I sincerely hoped that Draco had vials of this potion, too.

Hermione was standing between us, glaring holes in her book as she set up her cauldron. Draco and I exchanged a look behind her back. He looked nervous but nodded. I mouthed "Are you sure?" He nodded again. He held up three vials of potions, put them back in his pocket, and gestured for me to start talking.

"Hermione, could you sit down for a minute?"

"Harry, I have work to do."

"Sit, Hermione. It's important."

"We can talk back in Gryffindor. I want to get this over with as soon as possible. I have other homework to do."

"Draco already has vials of the potion."

"Draco?" she questioned, flopping back into her chair. "Since when is he 'Draco'?"

"Since westarteddating," I said quickly. She looked over at him in disbelief. His red face confirmed my statement.

"Tell me you're kidding." The look of confusion on her face and challenge in her voice seemed to scare him. He turned his back and walked a few feet away. I gestured for Hermione to stay seated and went over to him. Standing behind him, I wrapped my arms around him.

"Don't leave me," he whispered.

"Why would I leave you?" I said just as quietly.

"Granger hates me. Weasley will hate me. Everyone you care about hates me. I'm the son of a Death Eater, and you're the Boy Who Lived."

"I don't care what they think. They can change my name to the Boy Who Lived to Be with Draco Malfoy because you're staying with me. Come back over, and we'll make Hermione understand. No sweat. She can understand anything."

We walked back over to Hermione, who still looked shocked. She demanded (_more calmly than I could have_) that we "explain ourselves." Draco looked like a deer in headlights. He tried to talk but mostly managed to imitate a fish. He stared helplessly at me. Hermione turned all her attention to me. Draco grabbed my hand, and I started.

"I'm with Draco. I've been sneaking out to see Draco this whole time. He's defying his father and joining our side. I'm going to find a way to protect him. I want him to come to Headquarters for the holidays."

"Have you told Dumbledore and Lupin?"

"Not yet."

"Well, I'm definitely surprised, but you have my support. Especially when it comes to telling Ron. Welcome to our side, Draco." She gave him an awkward hug. I was sure it was the absolute last thing he expected. He would have been less surprised to find himself a ferret again. He jumped back away from her with a strangled cry. She tried to apologize, but he was already across the room by the door. He tried the knob forgetting that we were locked in until our potions were on Snape's desk. Hermione started to walk over to him, but I stopped her. She took a book out of her bag and moved to the far side of the room, probably to give Draco some privacy. He was shaking when I got to him.

"Out," he panted. "Out. I can't do this."

"Yes, you can," I told him, pulling him into a hug. Soon I was supporting most of his weight as he sagged against me. "Hermione won't hurt you. No one will hurt you. I'll do anything to keep you safe. To keep you with me. I want you. I need you. I want to be yours."

"Mine," he agreed as he calmed down. He took a deep breath and walked over to Hermione. "Thank you for your acceptance, Grang-Hermione," he said, holding out his hand. With a smile, she shook it. We made small talk while we killed time. It wouldn't do to be seen leaving before we had stayed long enough to actually make the potion. By the time we left, Madam Pomfrey had sent Ron back to Gryffindor.

The next time we had DADA, Hermione stayed after with me to tell Tonks that we needed to talk to Lupin. She frowned when we wouldn't tell her what it was about. I told her it was important and that after I needed him to go with me to Dumbledore. Tonks finally agreed to get a message to him. It took two weeks for Lupin to come to Hogwarts. It was easy for me to sneak away, but I don't know what Hermione had to tell Ron. Draco loitered in the hallway while Hermione and I talked to Lupin.

"Hello, Harry. Hermione. I'm surprised Ron isn't here. I'm sorry it took me so long to make it. I had urgent Order business. Tonks didn't tell me what this is about. Is it Order business or personal?"

"Both," I said, flushing. Lupin looked at me expectantly, but I didn't explain.

"Oh, honestly, Harry," Hermione huffed and rolled her eyes. "Draco Malfoy is defecting to our side. His father has turned Malfoy Manor into You-Know-Who's personal lair. No one on his side knows yet. He needs someplace to go for the holidays and someone to protect him when word gets out. We were thinking that he might be able to stay with us at Grimmauld Place. If You-Know-Who can't get to Harry there, Lucius won't be able to get to Draco"

Lupin scrutinized me when Hermione finished. My face stayed Weasley-red, and I turned my gaze down so I didn't have to watch him stare at me. "Hermione, does this mean they're _together_? I'm getting that impression."

"Yes, we are," I told him quietly. "How did you know?"

"The look on your face. The fact that you came to me first. If he didn't mean something to you, you would have gone straight to Dumbledore."

"Am I in trouble?" _Please say no. Please say no. Please say no_.

"No, Harry. You're not in trouble. But it is time to go see Dumbledore."

Draco joined us after we had explained the situation. The four of us went to see Dumbledore together. Dumbledore insisted on speaking to Draco alone. I didn't like it, but I left with Hermione and Lupin. We waited outside for what felt like forever. Hermione went back to Gryffindor, leaving me alone with Lupin in the deserted corridor.

"I have some questions for you, Harry. How long has this been going on?"

"Almost two months."

"Did he ask you to do this for him? To take him to Headquarters?"

"No. He didn't. He wouldn't do what you're thinking. He's not playing me. He was going to kill himself so he didn't have to go back. He didn't know I was there. I stopped him. And this all just kind of…happened. I have to keep him safe. He makes me happy. And I think I might lo-"

Draco finally came out and only said one word before he walked off.

"Yes."

TBC. Thanks for all the reviews.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: I haven't been naming my chapters. Is it helpful for you all if I do? I can start. Thoughts? Preferences?

I wanted to follow Draco, but Lupin escorted me straight back to Gryffindor. He promised to find me in the morning and went back to Dumbledore's office. If it had been anyone but Lupin, I might have gone after he left to find Draco. Ron and Hermione were nowhere in sight. Neville was up in our dorm. He and I played Exploding Snap for awhile before bed.

I didn't see Lupin before I went to breakfast with Ron and Hermione. Hermione didn't ask about Draco, but I gave her a nod when Ron wasn't looking. Lupin didn't find me before classes. A group of us walked to Care of Magical Creatures together. I hoped that Lupin hadn't forgotten his promise. He didn't. He came about fifteen minutes into class and took me aside. We walked off a ways for privacy. I stood waiting for him to start.

"Dumbledore didn't tell me what Draco said, but whatever it was convinced him. Dumbledore is allowing Draco to stay at Grimmauld Place. I agree with him. As I'm sure you understand, keeping this a strict secret is imperative. Besides Hermione, who else knows about this?"

"No one. Well, Neville knows that Draco and I are together, but he doesn't know about our holiday plan."

"Ron doesn't know?"

"I'm not exactly sure how he'll take it."

"You'll have to tell him. He's staying at Headquarters with you. Take Hermione with you to tell him. Only tell Ron. Dumbledore and I will be telling Arthur Weasley. No one else is to know."

"I understand."

When I rejoined the class, Hermione's attention was focused on her assignment. Ron was focused on me. I shook my head at him and mouthed 'Later.' I put off 'later' as long as I could because I hadn't come up with a good lie yet. _When are you going to suck it up and tell him the truth? _My inner voice was rather annoying. I had been squashing it quite successfully for weeks. /I'll do it when I have to/ _Yeah, because telling him the day Draco movies into Grimmauld with us is a great idea._ /Shut up/

That evening, Ron hijacked one of Hermione's you-boys-should-study sessions to corner me about Lupin. Hermione looked like she had no intention of helping me out. She wasn't even pretending to be interested. It annoyed me. I'd been counting on her to keep pretending for me. I figured she'd lecture me endlessly but let me tell him in my own time. It seems as though I was wrong. Ron was shooting her strange looks as he waited for me to explain.

"Hermione," he said, "you can't possibly not be curious about Lupin. You're curious about everything. And don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you saw him this morning." There was a pause. Then the proverbial light bulb went on. "You know, don't you." Ron accused Hermione. "I thought something was going on, but I didn't think the two of you would keep something from me. One of you say something. Tell me."

Hermione looked at me apologetically. "Harry, I can't do this for you."

"Let's go upstairs. Just me and Ron, Hermione."

Ron and I went up to our dorm. We settled onto my bed. The room was empty, but I put up a silencing charm for good measure. I was chewing nervously at my bottom lip. Ron was waiting, uncharacteristically quiet. I took a deep breath.

"I haven't told you this because I'm not sure how well you'll take it. And please, don't get mad at Hermione. I made her promise not to tell, and you know how she is with promises. She knows who I'm dating. And I didn't tell you because it's not a girl…I'm gay."

Complete silence. _What does this mean? Say something, Ron. Is this okay? Have I totally messed up our friendship? Are you mad? Disgusted? Okay? This silence is killing me._

"Why wouldn't I take it well? You're my best friend. Have a little faith in me. Do you really think that little of me?"

"No. Definitely not. Muggles don't usually take it very well."

"What does this have to do with Lupin? Oh, Merlin, it's not Lupin, is it?"

"Ugh, no. Lupin was here because my…boyfriend is going to be staying at Grimmauld with us."

"Who is it?"

_Here we go_. "Draco."

"Malfoy? Are you fucking kidding me? Gay I understand. But Malfoy? He's practically a Death Eater. Harry, this is disgusting. What's wrong with you? And how could you date my sister? Was it a lie or an experiment? What are you getting out of this sick arrangement with Ferret-face anyway? You can't tell me you actually _like _that slimy git? He's using you. For what? Information? Is that it? You spill Order secrets to him for sex? He doesn't actually like touch you, does he? Ugh. And you called _Ginny _a whore? How long has this been going on? And you invited him to _stay_ with us? Who are you? Have you lost your mind? What kind of curse are you under? Did he _imperious _you? Poison you? How did you get Lupin to agree to this? I'll bet Snape did this. I wouldn't put it past him. This is absolutely insane. We're going to fix you. Dumbledore. Now."

"Like hell we are. Fuck you."

I stormed out, absolutely livid. _I knew I shouldn't have told him. Traitor. What kind of best friend is he?_ I rushed down the stairs. I ignored Hermione as I sprinted out the portrait hole. She'd figure it out. It wouldn't take a genius to figure out it went poorly. I didn't know where I was going, but it was going to be away from Gryffindor. Away from Ron. I ran through the corridors. I didn't want to stop. Breathless, I ducked into the nearest room and collapsed on the floor panting. I was close to our classroom, but I couldn't bring myself to get off the floor let alone walk.

_No. Why did Hermione do this? Why did she give me up? _/She didn't do this to me/ _Really? I wouldn't have told him if she hadn't let on. She promised me. _/It's not her fault. I was asking her to lie for me. That's not really fair/ _What she did to me wasn't fair. _/I should really be mad at Ron, not her/ _I am mad at Ron. I'm furious. What kind of best friend acts like that? Especially one who says that I'm not giving him enough credit. _/Hah. I gave him too much credit/ _And I'm not a whore. Draco wouldn't use me like that. He's not using me like that. This isn't sick. It's not disgusting. Is it? Am I wrong? Is everyone else wrong? Is it disgusting to want him? To touch him? To suck him? To want his hands on me? His mouth? _/NO. It's not sick. It's perfect/ _Ron is Wrong. He doesn't know anything. Draco's wonderful. I like him. I want him. I need him. I'm not going back. I'm staying here. I'm not sharing a room with Ron. I'm not talking to him. First friend I've ever had and he acts like _This_. He can rot for all I care_.

During my mental tirade, I was sprawled out on the floor trying to hold back tears. My eyes were closed, but tears were leaking out and rolling down into my ears. I heard the door close. _How did Ron find me? Hermione better not have helped him_.

"Take your pathetic arse back to Gryffindor and fuck off. I'm not poisoned. I'm not _imperioused_. I'm not any of the other things you said. It's not like that. I'm not like that."

"Harry? It's me."

"Draco?" I opened my eyes. He was kneeling next to me in the dark. I couldn't see much more than his outline in the moonlight. He sat me up and hugged me.

"You told Ron, didn't you?"

"He called me a sick, disgusting whore. He thinks I'm giving you information about our Side in exchange for sex."

"I'd never use you."

"I know you wouldn't, Draco. I just don't understand how he can think that about me. Wait. How did you know I was in here?"

"I followed the little whining noise you make when you try not to cry."

"If it's like this now, how are we going to make it through everyone finding out?"

"Together. I'll take you to an empty classroom, like this one. Then I'll kiss it better. Like this."

He kissed my lips. I leaned into him. He wiped the tears from my cheek, and I circled my arms around his neck. I darted my tongue out to prod at his lips. He gave a little groan as I pushed into his mouth. When his tongue tangled with mine I felt whole. Nothing mattered but us. Ron didn't matter. Lucius didn't matter. Voldemort didn't matter. Draco was the only thing that I cared about. I pulled him close, pressing us chest to chest. I moved to whisper in his ear.

"You make me happy. He can't take that away."

"Tell me nothing," he whispered back. "Tell me nothing, but let me touch you anyway." He slid his hands up my shirt and sucked at my neck.

"Yes," I groaned. "No. The Map."

He sat up. "What map?"

"The Marauders' Map. As soon as he thinks of it, if he's actually smart enough to think of it, Ron'll look at it. He'll see us together and probably come to kill you. Or at least maim."

"What map? How is a map going to tell him where we are?"

"The Marauders' Map shows where everyone is in the castle. That's how I sneak around without getting caught. It's in my dorm. We can't do this here."

"Is everything on that map?"

"Yes. All the dorms. Classrooms. Everything." Then it occurred to me. "But not the Room of Requirement. It's the only place not on it."

"Can we make it?"

"It's worth getting caught."

Hand-in-hand we snuck through the corridors. We had a close call with Filch, but otherwise made it safely. Once inside the Room, I backed Draco up to the door and attached myself to his neck. I pushed a thigh between his legs, somehow needing reassurance that he did want this. Several kisses later I found myself holding him up as he wrapped his legs around my waist. It was hard to stand as he squirmed.

"Bed. Now," he demanded. _Bed?_

"What bed?"

"Behind you."

Staggering a bit under his weight, I turned around to find a bed no more than a few footsteps away. I stumbled ungracefully and practically fell on him as we toppled onto it. He tugged impatiently at my clothes. I hesitated. The lights flared then dimmed. I don't even remember stripping down after that. The next thing I knew we were tangled together. He stopped kissing me and looked at me hesitantly. I grabbed his hand, giving him a questioning look.

"There's something I wanted to ask you when we got a proper bed," he said blushing. "Will you…"

"What?"

"…fuck me?" he whispered. _Well, I wasn't expecting that. _I cupped his cheek with my hand and looked him in the eyes.

"I'm not ready," I told him. "I'm sorry. I want to. I will want to. I just…not yet."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being honest with me. I'd take that over sex any day."

TBC. Sorry about the Ron-bashing. I adore Ron. As I always say, the plot must never suffer. So, we just have to accept the oddities along the way. I have fluffy Ron-stories if you're angry at me. *sheepish grin*


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

Draco and I spent the whole night in the Room of Requirement. In the morning Draco went down to breakfast before me. It wouldn't do to walk in together, and I was trying to convince myself it was worth it to go. I didn't want to see Ron; I couldn't imagine Ron skipping a meal. Eventually I went down, and to my surprise, Ron wasn't there. Feeling better, I started eating a big breakfast. Halfway through, Ron came in with Hermione. He didn't say anything to me, but the look on his face reminded me of every word he said the previous night. My stomach churned. With as much composure as I could muster, I left the Great Hall. Once out, I ran the rest of the way to the lavatory. I splashed some cold water on my face and managed to keep my breakfast in my stomach. I was leaning heavily against the sink when the door opened.

"Harry?"

"Luna? What are you doing in here?"

"This is the girls' lavatory, Harry. Are you feeling okay?" _Girls?_

"Girls? Oh. Sorry. My breakfast wasn't settling well. I wasn't really paying attention. I'll, um, be going now." Feeling stupid, I walked out. I caught up with Neville before we got to the greenhouses.

"Will you stick with me today?" I asked him. "I told Ron about you-know last night. Saying he didn't take it well would be an understatement."

"Of course I'll stick with you. We can talk if you want."

"Thanks, but I'm not sure if I want to repeat some of the things he said."

Neville ran interference for me during classes and lunch. I stayed in the library during dinner to do my homework. He brought some snacks back in a napkin for me. I ate in the corridor after Madam Pince reprimanded me for eating in the library. I went straight back to my homework when I was done. Hermione dragged Ron in around eight.

"Ron has something to tell you. The two of you have to talk," she told us in her bossy-tone.

Silence.

"Now," she added with a glare.

"Fine," I said, "but not here."

"Fine," Ron snapped, "but I'm picking where."

Hermione held out her hands. "Wands."

Nothing.

"Hand them to me."

Nothing.

"W-a-n-d-s. Hand them to me."

Nothing. Then she sighed.

"_Accio_ Harry's and Ron's wands."

Our wands flew into her hands. Ron huffed out of the library. Hermione looked at me apologetically and gestured that I should follow. Ron made angry 'harumphing' noises as he stalked to an empty classroom. Then he said nothing.

"Hermione said you had something to tell me."

"I'm sorry."

"Are you sorry because you mean it or because you do whatever Hermione tells you to do?"

"That's a stupid question."

"Is it? Seems to me you're still whipped and do whatever the hell she says."

"At least I'm not a traitor whoring myself to the other side."

"So doing whatever Hermione says so you keep getting some isn't like whoring?"

"That's NOT true. She doesn't make me do anything. And we are not having sex."

"So your problem isn't with me and Draco. You're just jealous because I'm getting some and you're not."

"Don't talk about Hermione like that."

"So it's okay for you to call my boyfriend a Death Eater who's trading sex for information, but I can't point out that Hermione won't have sex with you?"

"I'll say whatever I want. I'm not the whore."

"But you would be if you could get Hermione to put out. You and your stupid slutty sister."

"Take. It. Back."

"You. First."

Ron growled and lunged at me. I side-stepped. He knocked my legs out from under me as he fell. I landed with a knee on his stomach. It was satisfying to hear the air rush out of his lungs. He punched me, aiming for my face but only able to reach my arm. I laughed at him and punched back. My aim was better. My fist collided with his face, giving him what would later be an impressive black eye. We kicked, punched, and rolled around for several minutes. I'm sure it looked like a couple of girls fighting, but as long as we weren't pulling hair, I felt sufficiently masculine. I don't know which of us came out worse for wear. Ron had a black eye and a bloody nose. My lip was split, and the left side of my face was swollen. I ached all over. I'm sure he felt the same. I had knocked him pretty hard into the stone floor. We were both collapsed on the floor, breathing hard when Hermione came through the door.

"Feel better now?" she asked.

"WHAT? You _knew_ he would hit me?" I panted.

"I didn't know who would hit first, but one I knew one of you would. Why do you think I took your wands?"

"That's _terrible_," Ron wheezed.

"Perhaps. But do you feel better?"

"I feel like I've been run over by a pack of Hippogriffs. You are a horrible girlfriend."

"Look at it this way, Ron. You two got to fight it out, no one got to hear all the things you said to each other, you're not mortally injured, and most importantly you haven't cost Gryffindor points and don't have detention."

"Priorities, Hermione, piorities," I chided playfully. I winced when I laughed. "I am glad no one heard it, though."

"Before we go, is there anything else the two of you need to say to each other now that you've taken your anger out?"

Nothing.

"Ron?"

Nothing. _Doesn't want to look whipped_, I laughed to myself.

"Harry?"

"Fine. I'm sorry about what I said about Ginny and Hermione. That wasn't right. They have nothing to do with this, and I shouldn't have tried to hurt you that way."

"And I'm sorry I called you a…you know. I can't really say I'm sorry for what I said about the Ferret because I'm not."

"Can you at least try to give him a chance?"

"I can try not to say shit about him."

"Can we go back to Gryffindor like civilized people now?" Hermione asked impatiently.

"Gryffindor?" Ron gaped.

"Yes, Gryffindor. Where we live. Where would you like us to go, Hufflepuff?"

"I know what Gryffindor is," Ron snapped. "I was thinking more along the lines of the infirmary. Maybe you didn't notice, but Harry and I are a little banged up. No thanks to you."

"The two of you need to suffer for awhile and think about how ridiculous you both are. Now, back to Gryffindor. There is homework to be done."

Feeling sorry for us, Hermione agreed to get my things from the library and bring them to the common room for me. Once out of eyesight, Ron and I detoured to the infirmary. We told Madam Pomfrey that we had collided and toppled down the stairs. She looked skeptical but didn't argue. _Who would accuse the Boy-Who-Lived of fighting another Gryffindor? The hero of the Wizarding world certainly wouldn't fight someone in his own house. Hah._ Hermione gave us grief for our side trip, but she seemed quite satisfied with the results of her little experiment. Ron did his best not to mouth off about Draco. He made gagging noises every time our relationship was even vaguely alluded to. I suppose that was as good as it was going to get for now.

Since I didn't have to tip-toe around Ron, Draco and I snuck off more frequently. We started using the Room of Requirement instead of our classroom. He'd sneak out of Slytherin with the cloak, and I would make my way to the Room of Requirement with the Marauders' Map. It was an evening in early November, and Draco made it there before me. The Room looked different every time. This time Draco was sitting on a large red sofa. He must have been thirsty because a short table with a pitcher of water and two glasses was within reach. As usual, the lights were dim. I sat next to him.

"You look like something's wrong," I said to him.

"I…yes." He sounded like he didn't really want to admit to it. _How bad is it?_

"Talk to me?"

"I got a letter today. From my father." He handed me a neatly folded piece of parchment. I read it to myself silently. The lights brightened just long enough for me to finish.

_Draco,_

_It is now November. School has been in session for several months now. I am deeply disappointed that you have made no progress toward completing your task. If another participant could manage the proximity you have, you would be replaced. This lack of action on your part is bringing shame upon our Family. Seeing as you are inaccessible until the holidays, you have been graciously given until then to complete the task our Family has been honored to receive before our Master will bring consequences upon us. However, _I _expect you to act within the next week to redeem our Family name and end the questions about our Loyalties. Consider each day you wait to add to the personal punishment you will be receiving when you return home. His anger will be Nothing compared to mine. Do not waste any more time._

_-Father_

"I'm going to protect you."

"What if you can't?" he whispered.

"Voldemort has been trying to kill me since I was a baby. I'm still here. Where could possibly be safer than with me?"

"Make me forget?"

Soon we were rolling around, naked and panting. "Thirsty," Draco gasped. "Water. Then more." We sat up. Draco chugged down some water. He put his glass back on the table and froze. He closed his hand around something, and then he stared at me.

"What?" _This is definitely weird. _He held something up.

"I didn't ask the Room for this."

"Didn't ask the Room for what?" _Am I in trouble?_

"It's lube, Harry," he said with a smirk. I blushed. "Does this mean you want to…"

"I didn't know it was going to…I wasn't trying to…"

"Were you thinking about…I mean, are you ready to…"

"I'm still not ready to…do that with you. But I was thinking about…experimenting a little."

"I like the sound of that."

"I'm nervous," I admitted. "I don't know what I'm doing."

"It's okay, Harry. I'm nervous, too."

I pushed him onto his back. I kissed him while I uncapped the vial to distract myself, well, both of us, from the newness of what I was about to do. I poured what was probably an unnecessary amount of lube onto my fingers. _Better safe than sorry_. He spread his legs for me as my hand ventured between them. I gave him a few strokes on familiar territory to steady my nerves and spread out the lube. Then I moved my fingers down to the place I've never touched. I pulled away from our kiss just enough to look into his eyes. He nodded, and I slipped my index finger in. Experimentally I moved it around a little. _What exactly am I supposed to do to make this feel good? Maybe I should have talked to Neville first._

"More," Draco gasped. _I guess that means I'm getting it right. Unless it means it's not good enough. Damn it. _

"More what? What do you want?"

"Don't tease me. Not now. Just do it," he groaned.

"Draco, I'm not teasing. I really don't know what to do." I was on the verge of panicking. _What do I do? What if he's disappointed? Oh, gods, why am I doing this?_

"So good. Another finger. Please, Harry, more."

I pushed a second finger in slowly, afraid I was going to hurt him. He was squirming and moaning beneath me. _I guess it doesn't hurt_. He messily shoved his tongue in my mouth. There was something unbelievably seductive about the noises he was making. I found myself thrusting down against him frantically as his moans brought me to the edge. I guess however I moved my fingers next was particularly satisfying. With a loud "Yesssss" he splattered come between us. I followed soon after.

"You are amazing," Draco whispered to me. "You can experiment on me any time you want."

TBC.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

Draco and I met again in the Room of Requirement only a few days later. He was already naked when I arrived. The lights dimmed as I walked through the door. I felt the familiar twinge of guilt that I still wouldn't let Draco see _all_ of me. I knew every inch of him. He never brought it up, but I always wondered if it hurt him. He smirked and held up a vial of lube as I walked over to him.

"I guess I know what you want."

"Alas, my attempts at subtlety have failed. However did you know, Harry?"

"It might have something to do with the way you're sprawled out waiting for me."

I left a trail of clothes as I moved over to him. He held up the lube, licked his lips, and then tipped the vial. I watched as the slippery liquid dripped down onto his…cock. It kept going and coated his…balls before dripping down to his…_How on Earth do I manage to touch him in all these places when I can barely think the words?_ I wrapped my fingers around his cock and smeared the slick lube on my fingers. He tossed his head back when I slid a finger over the crown. I trailed them down and pushed a single finger in. After a minute, without waiting to be asked, I added a second finger. His moan told me everything I needed to know. I wrapped my other hand around his cock and moved my fingers in rhythm.

"Three," he gasped. Slightly hesitant, I indulged him. His seductive smile turned into a wince.

"Draco?" I asked, moving to take my fingers out.

"Don't. Leave them. Let me get used to it."

I did as I was told, still lightly stroking his cock. When he nodded, I moved my fingers again. Very, very slowly. My wrist was cramping, and I rotated my hand a little to relieve it.

"Fuck. Yes, oh gods, yes."

_I guess I know where to aim. _/No, really?/ _How exactly do I aim? I wasn't doing it on purpose. _/Good question, genius/ _Shut up. Not helping. _/Quit your bitching/ _What if I can't find it? _/Grow a set, Harry, and try/ _Deep breath. One. Two. Three. _In my, what seemed to me, clumsy fumbling, I didn't keep my fingers as tightly together as I had been. His body tightened as I stretched him, but then he relaxed. I kept at it, and soon he was writhing and making the sexiest noises. He moaned something that sounded like 'close.' I leaned over, somehow managing to keep my weight off his body, and sucked at a pert nipple. I felt his hot come splatter across my torso. I expected him to take a second to breathe; instead, he flipped me onto my back. Half a second later his mouth was wrapped around my cock. I twined my fingers in his beautiful blond hair, trying not to thrust up too hard. I felt the back of his throat spasm around me. I moaned long and loud as I came in his mouth. _Why doesn't he gag?_

After we had cleaned up and caught our breath, I went back to Gryffindor. Hermione asked politely how Draco was doing. She was adjusting well to Draco. They kept their distance in public, but a few times they had hushed conversations in the library. Draco even thanked her for her discretion. Ron was still being childish about the situation. He still snorted at the mere hint of Draco. Once, he had even written a letter to Lupin asking him if he was sure about 'you-know-who' going 'you-know-where' for the holidays and that 'you-know-which' professor hadn't 'you-know-whated' him into just thinking that it was okay. There was an unspoken agreement that Draco was an off-limits subject. I did all my talking about that with Neville.

I was planning to do it again soon, when I had made up my mind. I had been obsessing over what Draco had asked me to do some three weeks ago ever since my fingers had first breached his body. I had told him I wasn't ready. _Is it still true? How do I know if I'm ready, anyway? I'm scared. _/Just like with everything else/_ What if I'm not…good?_ /How would he know? He's a virgin/ _What if I hurt him?_ /Trial by fire. Suck it up, Gryffindor/ _Fuck. _/Exactly/ _Am I ready? Can I do this? _

Neville could tell I wanted to talk, but every time I got close to actually doing it I got too nervous. One night as I was tossing and turning and definitely not sleeping, Neville took me down to the common room. He didn't say anything. He just waited. I think he would have sat there silently all night if I needed him to.

"How did you know?" I asked him. I hadn't actually managed to say anything to him.

"You look at me, open your mouth, close it, and blush," he explained. "Draco troubles?"

"Not troubles, exactly. I was just wondering, I mean, how do you know if you're ready to actually have real sex? He wants to. I think I want to. But, how do I know?"

"If you're not sure, don't do it. You can always decide to do it later, but you can never take it back. It's something the two of you should talk about."

"How exactly do I bring that up? What am I supposed to say?"

"How did it come up the first time?"

"He flat out asked me if I wanted to."

"Then you can be direct with him."

"Doesn't it…hurt?"

"Has he done anything to you yet?" Neville asked. _How can he not stutter and blush saying these things? I do just thinking about this._

"He wants to be the one who gets…you know. I don't want to hurt him. I can't if it's going to."

"Harry, I won't lie to you about this."

"I know."

"Yes. It usually hurts the first time. But not forever. It helps to prepare thoroughly."

"Like what? Meditation? I don't think any amount of meditation will make it fit easier."

"No, not like meditation. I mean starting with just a finger and working up to penis-size. It's sounds a little crass, but stretching him out first is a necessary step."

"What happens if it hurts him anyway? Neville, I lo-really care about him."

"Well, you either work through it or you stop. Once you get through the beginning, it's fine. Let him decide. I'm sure he knows you'll stop in a heart beat if he asks you to."

"Neville, thanks."

We went back upstairs, but I still couldn't sleep. Instead of feeling better, I felt like my fears had been confirmed. _After everything Draco's been through I _can't_ hurt him. I can't do that to him. I want to…have sex with him. But not if it hurts him. What if I scare him? Or he regrets it? Or he cries? Or I cry? Can I be scared forever? Can I say no forever? Maybe Neville's right. Maybe I should talk to Draco. _I fell asleep to thoughts of Draco moaning my name.

All through breakfast the next morning I thought about ways to bring it up with Draco. _Draco, we need to talk… No, definitely not. Draco, do you remember when you said you wanted me to... Now that's stupid. Of course he remembers. Draco, I was thinking about... Obviously. Who wouldn't? So. Sex… Hah, great start, Harry. I was talking to Neville last night…because Draco really wants me to talk about him. Draco, I think I'm ready to…Like I'd be able to say that without blushing to death._

Ron threw a croissant at me to let me know that breakfast was over. Hermione _accio_ed it before I could throw it back. I somehow managed to pay attention in class. I even managed some homework during our free period. I played Wizards' chess with Ron after dinner. I was alone in the dorm dressing after my shower when I heard an owl's beak on the window. I opened it, and one of the brown school owls alit onto the ledge. He (_she? It's an owl. How do I tell?_) held out a leg. I untied a neatly folded square of parchment. The owl flew away. I closed the window, unfolded the parchment, and read it. It had only one word. _Now_. I stuffed the Map under my shirt. Seamus stopped me in the common room to ask where I was off to in my night clothes.

"I left some homework in one of the classrooms earlier," I told him. "I'm afraid that it'll be missing if I wait until tomorrow to go find it." I was mostly talking over my shoulder, so the majority of the room heard.

"Good luck," Dean called after me.

Once tucked safely in an alcove away from the Fat Lady, I pulled out the Map. We hadn't used our classroom since we had started using the Room of Requirement, so I made my way up to the seventh floor. A quick duck into a passage behind a tapestry saved me from a wandering Professor Trelawny. _But if I had to get caught, I'd prefer her. She's a bit of a nut. A gullible nut. _I made it to the Room without further incident. I walked in to see Draco sitting on the floor against a wall with his knees tucked to his chest. I couldn't fathom why he was on the floor in an empty room that could have provided him with a whole furniture store if he'd asked for it. He was staring straight ahead not even blinking to recognize my arrival. I sat beside him. He still sat frozen.

"Why are we on the floor?"

"Scared."

"Of furniture?"

"Of someone hiding behind furniture."

"What if we sat on pillows? No one can hide behind or under them. Is that okay?"

I guessed it was okay because we were sitting on cushy white pillows. A crumpled piece of parchment sat beside Draco's feet. I hadn't been able to see it on the dark floor. I picked it up and looked to Draco for permission to read it. Draco nodded. I smoothed it out.

_Draco,_

_Remember who you are and to whom you belong_.

"He'll fry," I said angrily.

"Fry?"

"Muggle expression. You're safe with me, you know."

"I'm not like you. I cannot do this every day." He stopped, choking on sobs. "You should have let me die."

"Draco, no. Tell me you don't mean that." _I can't lose him now_.

"I don't mean it. Not now that I have you. I just don't understand how you can go through each day knowing that there are people who would torture you or kill you if they could. Why aren't you afraid?"

"I've spent my whole life being afraid. When I was at the Dursleys, I was scared but could stay out of the way. Mostly. Right now, what difference does it make if I'm scared? There's nothing that I could do to make myself less likely to die. I wouldn't be any safer if I were in Gryffindor than if I were in the Great Hall or on the Quidditch pitch. I guess it's all just second nature to me now. I know you think I'm brave, but I think I've just accepted that what I do doesn't matter. Nothing matters. Quirrel got into Hogwarts. I got bit by the basilisk. Dementors almost sucked my soul third year. The Tri-Wizard cup took me to Voldemort's resurrection where he tried to kill me. Fifth year he possessed me in the Ministry. Who cares what I do? The prophecy is fucked up and unfair."

"What prophecy?"

"In our fifth year, Voldemort was obsessed with obtaining a prophecy about us. Did you ever wonder why crazy Trelawny is teaching here? She made the prophecy and told it to Dumbledore. The only way for Voldemort to get it was from Trelawny, Dumbledore, me, or the Department of Mysteries in the Ministry. Basically it goes like this: blah blah blah either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives."

"That's…terrible."

"Yes. But it's true."

"You were right before."

"Of course I was right," I smiled. "Right about what?"

"The safest place is next to you. Look what you survived."

"Draco, look what _you've_ survived. Your father is a Death Eater. Voldemort lives in your house. You've been ordered to kill someone. You're having a secret affair with me. You've decided to switch sides. If that's not brave, I don't know what is."

"Harry? Will you…maybe stay…with me tonight…here?"

"I will stay with you as long as you want."

TBC.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I woke up in the morning to a flickering fire that lit up the room just enough for us not to run into each other. Sometime during the night we had stripped down and cuddled together naked for comfort. We were in a plush bed. _I guess Draco got over his fear of furniture. Mmmm, that feels good_. I was spooned against Draco's back. He seemed to still be sleeping. Conscious or not, his body was rocking back against mine. My cock, slick with pre-come, was nestled in the cleft of his arse. _So damn good. _

"Fuck," Draco moaned softly when I started actively pushing against him.

"Yes," I stated. I guess the factfulness of my tone startled him.

"What?" he said, looking over his shoulder.

"Yes. I want to…fuck you." I kissed his neck and kept the rhythm of my hips.

"Stop rutting against me for two seconds so we can talk."

I froze. _He doesn't want it any more._ I pulled away from his body for good measure. I closed my eyes, but I still felt it when he rolled over to face me. I was surprised when he grabbed my hand. I opened my eyes.

"That wasn't a no, Harry. Last time you said you weren't ready. I just want to make sure that you really mean this and that you're not just caught up in the moment."

"This isn't just a moment. I've been thinking about it. But perhaps telling you was a bit of an impulse."

"We still should talk. I know how you get."

"What does that mean?" I asked, feeling a bit angry.

"Nervous. I'm not saying it as a criticism. I want you to be okay with all this.

"I _am_ okay with this."

"Take it slow, and it's okay if you change your mind."

I kissed him, just a soft press of lips. He was right. I had been too worked up. We rolled so he was on his back and I was on top. I licked at his lips. His tongue tangled with mine. Our bodies were pressed together; I never wanted to let him go. I kissed along his jaw, the curve of his neck, the pit of his throat before sucking lightly on his collarbone. He gasped. I kissed each of the scars along his chest before sucking a nipple into my mouth. He groaned as I tongued it. I bit down a bit, and he threaded fingers in my hair. I let him guide my kisses south. I dipped my tongue in his belly button, delighted with the ticklish giggle-moan he made. I knelt between his parted knees. I ran my hands over his narrow hips and all along his thighs. I leaned back over, licking the crease where his leg met his body. I had never purposefully inhaled the smell of _that_ particular part of him, but now that I was so close I found it rather intoxicating. Unable to restrain myself any more, I had to have a taste. I sucked gently on his cock, and the Room put a jar of lube next to my unoccupied hand. I dipped my fingers in. _Are we really doing this? What did Neville say? Stretching. Stretching first._ I moved up to kiss Draco on the lips when I pushed in the first finger. He was writhing and moaning and clutching me desperately when I finally worked in a second and third finger. It felt like it was taking forever, and I had never been that hard. I scooped more goop into my already slick hand and spread it liberally over my cock. I knelt between Draco's knees and looked down at him, questioning.

"Yes," he whispered, licking his lips. His blond hair was askew, and his grey eyes were bright.

"You're beautiful, Draco." He wrapped his legs around my waist, and I nervously lined myself up. _We _really _are going to do this._ It took a few tries to finally push into him. I closed my eyes as I slowly slid in. _Oh. My. Gods. He's so…tight. This feels amazing. _I felt a wet tickle on my cheek. I looked at Draco's face. His eyes were squeezed shut, but tears were leaking out. He was biting down on his lower lip. _Fuck. I hurt him. No. No no no. _

"I'll stop. Draco, I'm sorry. I'll stop. I'm so sorry." I tried to pull back, but he hooked his feet behind me so I couldn't move.

"No," he gasped.

"I don't want to hurt you," I protested.

"I want you to do this," he panted.

"You _want _me to hurt you?" _Can this give someone a stroke? I mean, clearly my penis has damaged his thinking in some way. Damn it, penis._

"I want *gasp* to get used *gasp* to it so I can *groan* enjoy it."

"I can't hurt you, Draco. I can't."

"It's getting easier. Just…kiss me. Please. I need you."

I kissed him, trying my best not to move my lower half. After what was probably two or three minutes, he used his feet to pull me closer. I was completely pressed against him, in him. I was lightheaded, it felt so good. His lips were soft. His skin was hot. His breathing was evening out, finally. He was nudging me with his heels. I looked at his eyes, still watery but no longer leaking. He nodded. I pulled back a little and pushed forward again. I was so terrified that I was going to hurt him. _This feels so good. If I wasn't so scared, it'd be perfect. How can I think about feeling good when I know he hurts?_ He kept nodding, so I kept going. We developed a steady rhythm, and he was arching up to meet me.

"OH, FUCK," he cried out.

"Draco?"

"Kiss me and do it again. Please, do it again," he whimpered. I did as I was told. Soon he had one hand in my hair and another sneaking its way between our bodies. I knew he was getting himself off, and I could feel the slippery tip of his cock pressed against my belly. _Feels so good. Oh, gods, so hot._

"Yes, Harry, so hot." I hadn't even realized I'd said anything aloud until Draco answered. His entire body spasmed around me as he splattered come onto my stomach. With a strangled cry, I came, too. I flopped down next to him so I wouldn't crush him. We both just stayed there, panting. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but I did.

I woke up, realizing with a start that I was still naked. I pulled on my pajamas and turned to face Draco. His side of the bed was empty and cold. I looked around the room for him, hoping he hadn't run away. Dressed again, he was sitting on a sofa in front of the fireplace. I went over to join him. He gestured for me to sit but didn't say anything or look at me. I held his hand, and he rested his head on my shoulders.

"Draco?"

"I'm fine, Harry," he sighed.

"You hurt, don't you?"

"Harry, I don't understand," he whispered. He sounded close to tears.

"Don't understand what? Talk to me. We'll figure it out."

"It hurt. But I wanted to get through it. I wanted to be with you. Then it wasn't so bad. Then it was fucking fantastic. Then it hurt but then it felt good again then it hurt again. I loved feeling you like that. Feeling like we were the only people in the world that matter. But I just don't get it, Harry. How could I like something that hurt? What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you. Sometimes you have to go through something hard to get what you want."

"Did you…like it?"

"I hated hurting you."

"But the rest. Did you like it?"

"Yes."

"…."

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"Can I, please, kind of be alone for a while?"

"I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad at you. I just need to think."

"I'll go if you promise to meet me here tonight."

"I'll be here. After dinner."

I kissed him on the cheek before I left. I was nearly at the door when I heard him crying softly. I almost turned back. Instead, I gritted my teeth and slunk back to Gryffindor hoping that I would be lucky enough to avoid the early birds. _Mid-morning birds? What time is it anyway?_

TBC.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I was almost to Gryffindor before it occurred to me that the Map would tell me who's in the common room. I ducked into a side corridor and checked. _Hmmm. A couple first and second years. No Creeveys. Angelina…will keep her mouth shut if I ask her to. _Squaring my shoulders, I entered through the portrait hole. I shook my head at Angelina, and she nodded. I went straight up the stairs to the dorm. Ron was still passed out with one pale, freckly leg hanging off the bed. Dean's bed curtains were closed. Seamus's bed was empty. And Neville was staring at me.

"Seamus is showering," he said smiling. "I closed your curtains last night. They all think you're asleep right now. Have fun?"

"That's one word for it," I muttered, walking to my bed and opening the curtains. "Sorry, Neville. Thanks for covering for me. I didn't mean to stay…nevermind.

I don't know how Neville managed to read me so well all the time; he didn't say a word after that. He just shrugged and went back to getting dressed. I had just managed to get my shoes off when Seamus walked back in from the bathroom, dripping wet and stark naked. He had the decency to carry a pair of crumpled up boxers in front of himself. They didn't do much.

"Seamus, haven't you ever heard of a towel?"

"Harry, by now I think you already know what a naked person looks like," he said smirking as he meandered his way to his bed. Neville seemed to find it amusing.

"You're getting everything all wet."

"Good thing there are no girls in here." He didn't seem the least bit concerned with the view he presented when he bent over his trunk to rummage for a towel.

"Seamus, you're disgusting."

Neville looked over at me with barely repressed laughter. "At least he has a nice arse," he mouthed. Without thinking about it, I looked over. My eyes snapped guiltily back to Neville. _Shit._ I blushed. _That did __NOT__ just happen._ Neville shook with silent laughter as he walked out the door. I hastily grabbed my own towel and turned my back to Seamus.

"I'm going to go take a shower, and I'm _taking_ my towel," I called out as I walked away. I was very very glad that Ron had missed that little episode. The thought of Draco crying alone in the Room sobered me up. I wasn't really sure why that popped into my head, but once it did I couldn't get it out. I ran the water hotter than usual. I wasn't quite sure what I was washing off, but I was going to get it off. _Guilt, I suppose. I hurt him. It's hard to think I liked any of it. _/He did/_ Yeah, and it brought him to tears. I left him crying. Alone. _/He asked you to/ _And after everything he's been through, I left him there. _

"Did you have to yell on your way in here?" Ron asked crankily as he walked in.

"I was making a point. Seamus dripped water everywhere when he came back without drying off."

"Is that why the floor was all wet?" Ron asked around a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Yes."

"Ewww," Ron said, spitting into the sink.

I got out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, and stood at the sink next to him. I gave my hair a useless once over with a comb. Ron crossed over to one of the urinals, and I went back into the dorm to get dressed. Ron came back in a better mood. When we were both ready, we met Hermione down in the common room for breakfast. Around a mouthful of sausage and eggs (_which really don't look all that appetizing once they're _in _Ron's mouth_), Ron asked if I would help him with Quidditch in the afternoon. Hermione _tsk_ed at his table manners and his disregard for his homework. Despite the standard "But it's Saturday" whining from Ron, we found ourselves held captive by Hermione until we had completed "Enough homework to earn some Quidditch time." It took us until lunch to convince Hermione that we had earned our privileges, so we ate before heading outside. Hermione went off somewhere with a book (_shocking_), and Ron and I headed for the Quidditch locker rooms to get our brooms.

"What is it you want to practice?" I asked Ron as we walked onto the pitch.

"Well, er, it's more like I want to kind of maybe talk to you about something. Flying seems like the most private way to do it, and we won't be able to punch each other."

"It's going to be that bad, is it?" I asked, mounting my broom.

"I hope not," he said following me. We flew a few circles around the pitch before stopping near one of the sets of goalposts.

"Well, what do you want to talk about, Ron?"

"Ferr…um, Malfoy."

"Am I cursed? No. Is he using me? No. Am I sure? Yes. Will he be coming to Grimmauld Place? Yes. Can you change that? No."

"That's not what I was going to say, Harry."

"Sorry. You just don't have a very good track record with the subject."

"I guess I deserve that. I just want to know why. Why on Earth did you start liking Malfoy?"

"It's not like I planned on it. It just happened."

"How? How does that 'just happen'?"

"That's personal."

"But I'm your best friend."

"I know. But it's personal about him, too."

"So you're saying you don't trust me."

"No, I'm saying he doesn't trust you. You wouldn't want me to tell him things about you even though I trust him."

"I suppose. But what's good about that stupid Death…Malfoy?"

"He's not a Death Eater, Ron. His father is a stupid, selfish bastard who let Voldemort take over their house so he could earn brownie points. Have you ever stopped to think what it's like to grow up with a family that's not sunshine, cupcakes, and unicorns? Don't you dare sit there and assume you know _anything_ about him. He's not his father any more than I'm my uncle. And it's a damn good thing we're on these brooms."

"You can't seriously be comparing stupid Muggles to Lucius?"

"Yes. I was hated by the Dursleys, and Draco was groomed by Lucius. Either way, we were both treated like shit. Do you have any idea what would happen to me if the Dursleys weren't so scared of Dumbledore, and magic, and the twins' ton-tongue toffees? Any idea what would happen to Draco if his father knew where his loyalties are? The world isn't puppies and rainbows. You don't know these things because you don't want to know."

"You didn't turn into your uncle, because he's not your father. Your fat dumb cousin is just like him. Like father, like son. Like Lucius, like Draco."

"You just sit there and assume that things are black and white. That there are good people and bad people. It just doesn't work that way. Kids get chucked into a shitty world, and they have to fend for themselves. KIDS, Ron, kids who spend all their time trying to survive. It's a fucking miracle that Draco and I lived long enough to get together."

"So you're saying that you like Malfoy because he's the opposite of me? Doom and gloom and a shitty family?"

"That's not what I said and you know it. I like Draco because he's sweet, even if you don't believe it. He's smart. He's brave, and he's stronger than anyone I know. He's trying to be friends with Hermione, and he doesn't talk shit about you the way you do about him. And he understands me, more than anyone else ever has. This is the way it is. We're together. If you can't accept that, then go away. I'm not saying you have to be buddy-buddy with him. Just stop being such a jackass about all this. No more talking shit. No making stupid noises and giving me dirty looks."

Ron rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. The look on his face just screamed 'you damn idiot.' If we hadn't been on the brooms, I would have punched that look right off his face.

"Fine, Ron. Find me when you grow up."

I found Hermione before Ron did. I gave her the short version. She looked sad and shook her head, but she didn't defend him or try to talk me into making up with him. I asked her if she thought Ron would change his mind about staying at Grimmauld Place for the holidays. She said she didn't know.

I ate dinner with Dean, Seamus, and Neville, at the opposite end of the table from Ron and Ginny who seemed to have bonded in an impromptu I-hate-Harry club. I hoped that Ron didn't tell Ginny about Draco. I couldn't see him admitting to being best mates with a Malfoy-lover, though. I went to the Room of Requirement as soon as I had finished eating.

"Why did you make me promise to meet you tonight?" Draco asked sullenly as soon as I walked in.

"When we had detention you told me to kick, scream, swear, but not to walk away from you. Don't walk away from me, Draco."

"But this morning, you let me kick you out."

"This morning you didn't want me to see you cry."

"You…knew?"

"Yes."

"…"

"Draco, will you tell me what you were thinking about this morning after I left?"

"Fine. But let's sit down." With his words, a sofa appeared. I sat first, letting him pick how close to me he wanted to be. He sat closer than I thought he would. "I couldn't think with you here. I was so confused about how I felt. And worried about how you felt. I'm still worried about how you feel. I didn't think it was going to be…this way. I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't have. I'm not saying I'm sorry we did. Because I'm not. But what if we broke what we have? I don't want to lose you. But I…"

"You what?"

"I want to do it again," he whispered, staring at the floor, "those moments that it didn't hurt, it felt amazing. It was like we were the only thing that mattered. I felt…special…beautiful…safe. I want to feel like that forever. I want to do it until you feel like that. You're the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me."

"The way you look, the way you sound, the way you feel wrapped around me, I'll never get tired of that. Stop looking at your feet and look at me so I can kiss you."

"Thank Merlin, you still want me," he said, looking up into my eyes.

"Always," I said, crushing my lips against his. He licked at my lips and tugged at my shirt. I let him pull it over my head before I went back to kissing him. The lights dimmed as we stripped down, and the sofa turned into a soft bed. Draco coated my fingers with a warm lubricant as I kissed his neck. I pushed one finger in to a whisper of 'yes.' At his urging I added a second. He tensed, and a faint whimper made its way out. He didn't seem to want me to know. I didn't care if he wanted me to know or not. I wasn't going to do it. _But I can't tell him that. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't want to embarrass him. Think, Harry. What if I…Okay. Gather courage. Start talking._

"You're so hot, Draco," I said, pulling my fingers out and kissing down his chest. _Keep going. It's not stupid. It's hot. Do it for Draco. Distract him. _"Your cock looks so good." _You can't actually die from blushing. _"I want to suck you off."

"Harry, yes," he moaned as I closed my lips around him.

I used my dry hand to hold his hips down. I stroked the base of his cock with my still-slick fingers. _Don't gag this time. Make it perfect. Yeah, no pressure there, Harry_. I licked more than I sucked, trying to keep my impressive gag reflex at bay. He cried out when I tongued the underside of the crown. He came not long after that. _Does that mean I'm good? Or that he's sensitive? _He pulled me up to him.

"Thank you," he said with a knowing smile.

TBC.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

Most students didn't know about the Room of Requirement, and those who did knew about the raid by Umbridge and the Inquisitorial Squad and were afraid to go there. I started going there even when I wasn't meeting Draco just to get some peace. So when Ron and Hermione got into a fight about me in the common room in early December, that was exactly where I headed. I expected to be alone with my homework. I walked in the door quietly, like I always do. Somehow I thought that simply tromping through the door might break the magic. My jaw _dropped_ at what I saw.

Draco was lying on a bed, eyes closed, touching himself. He was biting his lower lip as he fisted his slick cock. I watched his hand go up and down. His fingers grazed over the tip. He smeared the pre-come oozing out around the head with his finger. He moaned, arching up a bit. It wasn't until his hips lifted off the bed that I even noticed his other hand. He was slowly thrusting something into his…

"_Oh my god_." I dropped my books to the floor.

His eyes flew open. He pulled the silver dildo out and dropped in on the bed next to him before scrabbling for the sheets. He pulled the sheet up to his neck, hiding everything, and stared at me in absolute horror.

"What are you doing?" he whispered hoarsely.

"I'd rather hear about what _you _were doing," I told him, settling beside him on the bed.

"I was…practicing," he admitted, blushing. "I thought that if I maybe got used to it that you wouldn't have to worry about hurting me."

"Practicing?" I repeated, licking my lips.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm—"

"Disgusted?"

"—hard."

"Really?"

"Do you have any idea what you looked like?"

"If you want to make good with that boner, I'm ready for you."

Draco tried to sound playful, but it was clear that he was still embarrassed about being caught. He didn't need to be. It was a sweet idea and looked sexy as hell. The lights dimmed as the Room answered for me.

"I want this to be good for you," he said, undoing my tie.

"Anything with you is good for me." I kissed him and worked the button on my shirt. I kicked my shoes, socks, and trousers off before climbing under the sheet with Draco. He pressed a jar of lube into my hands. _I guess we're not wasting any time_. I dipped my fingers in and reached them down between his legs.

"Fuck, Draco," I groaned. He was already loose and open from his 'practicing.' I easily slid two fingers in. He nodded his encouragement. There was no resistance as I added a third. He wrapped a slick hand around my cock. I pulled my fingers out, and he guided me down to his entrance. I pushed in slowly.

It felt amazing. Better than last time because Draco didn't wince or cry. He wrapped his legs around my waist and hooked his feet. He put his hands on my hips and guided me into a steady rocking motion. I took up my own pace and relaxed into it when I was sure I wasn't going to hurt him. He made little whimpering noises. I pulled back further before pushing in a little harder. He wrapped his arms around my neck. He was panting, and his breath was hot on my cheek. I tilted my hips down a bit so I could shift my weight on my arms. His body tightened around me, and he let out a loud moan. _Oh, fuck, yes_. I captured his lips with mine and sloppily shoved my tongue into his mouth. I wanted to touch him, but I knew I'd never be able to hold my weight on one hand. I braced my weight on my left forearm instead of my hand. I used my now-free right hand to cup Draco's cheek and pull him closer. _Not that we can get much closer. He's practically swallowing my tongue_. Still thrusting, I slid that hand down his chest.

"Harry, feels so good. Close. Touch me. Please." Each word came out more like a moan than anything else.

I wrapped my fingers around his cock and moved so I could whisper in his ear. I had no idea _what_ I was going to whisper, but I was determined to say something sexy. His whole body was pulsing around me, so all I managed was a strangled "DRACO" as I came. I could barely keep my fingers around him let alone actual move them. He seemed to be doing just fine on his own, thrusting avidly into my hand. He arched his back and spurted sticky come between us. It felt a little odd to have his muscles tighten around my softening cock. I slipped out of him and rolled so I was on my back beside him.

"You know why I'm in here," he said after awhile. "Why did you come in here?"

"I came in here because I was fucking you."

He playfully smacked my leg. "Why did you decide to grace the Room of Requirement with your presence this afternoon?"

"Ron and Hermione are fighting. I was escaping."

"Weasley and Hermione are always fighting. They have been aggravating and amusing everyone with their ridiculous spats for six years now. It's the most obvious display of sexual tension I've ever seen. Why did this fight bother you?"

"I don't want to bother you with it."

"Bother me with it. It's bothering you."

"They're fighting about me."

"What about you?"

"With the exception of Quidditch and being around Hermione at the same time, Ron and I don't really talk any more. We had a big fight about you and me. I told him that if he couldn't just accept things without snide comments and disgusted looks, then he should go away and come back when he grows up. Today he told Hermione that he's so angry about the two of us that he doesn't want to stay at Gri- with all of us for the holidays. She's mad because he'd rather be pissed at me then spend time with her. He's mad because he thinks she's now taking my side. I just can't listen to it any more."

"Harry, do you blame me for making you lose your best friend?"

"Of course not. Do you really think that?"

"Sometimes," he admitted in a whisper.

"Never," I told him, grabbing his hand.

"Are you okay with losing him, if it comes down to that?"

"No. But I would never give you up to get him back."

"Do you really mean that?" He looked at me hopefully but scared that I might say no. I kissed his hand before speaking.

"Yes. There's stuff that I don't say, stuff I _can't _say for one reason or another. But everything I do say I mean. I won't lie to you."

He didn't say anything after that. I didn't think there was much more to say about Ron, so I kept quiet. I watched a tear escape as gravity pulled it down the side of his face into his ear.

"What's wrong, Draco?"

"It's not wrong. My entire life has been about lies. I don't know how to…believe in something. In someone. I guess I've just always been scared that maybe you'll change your mind about me. No one's ever been honest with me before. And I'm a little afraid of how much I need you to be honest with me."

"Always honest with you. Come here."

He scooted over so he was pressed against my side. I had an arm around his shoulders, and his head was on mine. I kissed his forehead. I stroked his blond hair. He started snoring softly. I smiled and whispered, "I love you, Draco," even though I knew he couldn't hear me. I let him sleep until dinner. After cleaning up and a kiss (_or three_) goodbye, I went down to the Great Hall. I sat at the Gryffindor table, and we all pretended, as we always did, that everything was fine.

TBC.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

On the way to Potions the following day, Draco brushed past me, hitting my shoulder and hissing, "We're doing it again." I figured he meant getting ourselves detention. I didn't think we were going to have sex in the dungeons again. _At least not with an audience_. Now that I wasn't evading Ron and Hermione, I didn't know why we needed detention, but I trusted him to have a plan of some sort. Hermione slid into a seat at an empty table. I followed, leaving Ron to the aisle seat. Draco sat across the aisle. _Shit. What now? I should have taken the aisle seat. Play along, I guess._

Snape wrote the page number for our potion directions on the board. He told us, "You have exactly 45 minutes and not a second more to put completed potions on my desk. That should give even our brewing-challenged students time enough to figure it out." He looked straight at me and Ron as he sneered. Draco snickered. Ron clenched his fists as we walked up to get our ingredients.

"_That_ is the stupid wanker you're trusting with everything?"

"Not now," Hermione whispered to Ron. He muttered something that sounded to me a lot like 'traitor.' Hermione slapped the back of his head.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger," Snape snapped. "Although I'm quite certain that Mr. Weasley here deserved it, you may not assault another student in my class."

We were halfway through class, and Draco still hadn't caused a scene. _Maybe he gave up because Ron's between us._ Hermione was calmly stirring seven times counter-clockwise. Saying that Ron's potion was not going very well would be an understatement. He shook his head in frustration. If I hadn't been watching him, I would have missed what happened next. Draco brushed off his sleeve, looking rather disgusted.

"Stop shaking that ugly ginger mop, Weasel. You're flinging dirt onto my robes. I know you're used to bathing in a pond, but this is Hogwarts and we have showers here. Learn how to use them." Ron jumped out of his seat, but Draco wasn't finished. He looked over at me. "Potter, control your pet. He seems to need a new leash."

Ron lunged at Draco. I really hoped that had been Draco's intention, though I couldn't fathom why he would want to talk to Ron. I certainly didn't. I was actually worried that with all that was going on Ron was actually going to hurt Draco. I moved to restrain Ron, but I was too slow. Draco easily side-stepped, and Ron crashed into Draco's desk instead of punching him. Draco's cauldron went flying. Right as I started to pull Ron back, Draco shoved him. Off balance the two of us knocked into our own table. I watched helplessly as it toppled and said a silent apology to Hermione. I needn't have; Hermione had placed her cauldron on the table behind ours and was calmly stirring away. Snape was predictably furious.

"Fifteen points from Gryffindor for each of you, Mr. Weasley and Mr. Potter. Five points from Slytherin, Mr. Malfoy. All three of you will attend detention tonight to complete your potions. Potter, Weasley, as I told Miss Granger, brawling is not acceptable in my classroom. Mr. Malfoy, perhaps if you learn to control your tongue you won't have to suffer through another detention with these heathens."

Hermione _tsk_ed as she filled a vial with her clear, blue potion. Draco lounged in his chair looking bored with the situation. Ron seethed. I sat in my seat praying that Draco had some of this potion, too. When class was over, Hermione swept out quickly. It was clear from her expression that she didn't want to be seen with us. _Can't say I blame her_. Draco sauntered out moments after Ron and I stepped into the corridor. I could feel Draco closing in on us as we walked down the hall. I wasn't sure how Ron had managed _not_ to notice, but then, Ron is often not the most observant. Draco squeezed my arse and winked at me when I looked over my shoulder in surprise. Ron had been muttering insults about Draco since we had left ear-shot of Snape. I ignored him. I hoped that _he_ would be the uncomfortable one when he, Draco, and I sat through detention.

Ron's frosty attitude toward me had melted, since he seemed to be under the impression that I was trying to keep him out of detention during the Potions' fight. I was under the impression that I didn't want him punching Draco's gorgeous face in, but I felt no need to correct him. I was still pissed at him, but for a few hours, there would be a semblance of peace. He kept up his 'life is so unfair and Draco and Snape have it in for me' tirade all through dinner. We briefly returned to Gryffindor before our detention. Hermione insisted that Ron and I take homework with us 'in case we finished early.' She winked when she said it. _What's it like_, I wondered, _to watch the shit hit the fan knowing you have an umbrella_?

I left ahead of Ron. Hermione was giving him some kind of private lecture, probably on how to behave himself. I had just descended the first set of stairs into the dungeon when a hand reached out and grabbed me. Before I had a chance to process, I was being hauled into a closet and kissed. Draco's lips were soft against mine. "I should have asked," he whispered.

"Asked what?" I whispered back.

"About sequestering us with Weasley."

"Why did you do it?"

"The three of us should hash stuff out. For your sake. I don't give a shit if he likes me. I hate seeing it upset you. But I didn't think I could get him to stay in a room with me short of stealing his wand and tying him to a chair."

"What about Snape?"

"Same as last time. Too busy to supervise a bunch of Gryffindors when I'm around to do it for him."

"Even though there are two of us?"

"He'll find it more amusing. Are you mad?"

"No. Not mad. I can see why you want to do this. I just don't want to talk to him. Kiss me again and we'll go."

The kiss was perhaps a little longer that it needed to be, but I had no complaints. I left first. I still made it to the Potions classroom before Ron. Ron and Draco walked in at almost the same moment. I'm surprised one of them wasn't tripping the other. Snape looked bored.

"Ah, Mr. Weasley. I see you have waited until the last moment to arrive."

"But," Ron protested unwisely, "what about—"

"What about nothing, Mr. Weasley. Your wand, please. You, too, Mr. Potter." I handed mine over without complaint, having expected this.

"What about Malfoy?" Ron protested again, refusing to hand his wand over.

"If you were more concerned with yourself instead of Mr. Malfoy, perhaps you would not be here. Hand me your wand." Snape plucked it from Ron's hand before continuing. "Again, you have 45 minutes to complete your potion. I'm sure I can find some vile tasks for future detention if you cannot control yourselves. The door will be locked and wands will be in my desk until detention is over. Mr. Malfoy, I trust that you will exercise sound judgment for the duration." Snape stalked out and slammed the door. Ron muttered something about "that stupid, greasy bastard" while he set up his cauldron. Draco caught my eye and patted his pocket.

"Ron, you don't need to do that," I told him. "We already have some of the potion. We're here to talk."

"Talk?" he repeated like he thought he had gotten a whiff of one of the twins' potions and was hallucinating.

"Yes, talk," Draco told him. "I'm sorry for baiting you, but I wanted to talk to you and I didn't think you'd willingly follow me anywhere."

"You've got that right. So now we're stuck here and I'm still not going to talk to you."

"I will tie you to the fucking chair if I have to, Weasley," Draco shouted at him. "Your best friend misses you. Because you can't accept me. We're settling this. Now. Say whatever you have to say to me. But you are not going anywhere until there is nothing left to say. Start talking. Or do I have to tie you to the chair?"

"I don't know what kind of sick shit you get up to, but you are NOT tying me to anything," Ron yelled back, jumping up and moving until he was away from all the chairs. I picked a chair and sat to watch. I didn't particularly feel the need to intervene.

"Don't be an idiot, Weasley. I have no sexual interest in you. What is your damn problem with me and Harry anyway? It makes him happy. We're not hurting anyone. What kind of friend are you?"

"Not hurting anyone? Look what you've done to Harry!"

"And what is it that I've _done_ that is so horrible?"

"He's been different since you. He's lied to me and Hermione. He's kept secrets. And he's turned on me. His best friend. And you broke us apart. You've filled his head with crazy shit and he doesn't trust me anymore."

"I never said I don't trust you," I interrupted.

"You won't tell me why he's okay. Sounds like a lack of trust to me."

"I trust you Ron. I just can't tell you his secrets. That's not my call."

"If Harry trusts you, then so do I," Draco said stepping forward. "I've been ordered to kill Dumbledore. I'm not going to do it. I'm staying wherever it is for the holidays because I can't go home."

"How do I know you're not already a filthy Death Eater trying to smuggle out information?" Ron asked suspiciously. Draco rolled up his sleeves to show his pale, unmarked arms. "I suppose that will do," Ron conceded.

"Is there anything else you need to ask me?" Draco said evenly as he pulled his sleeves back into place.

"No. But I have one for Harry. What did Dumbledore say?"

"Dumbledore believes him and has agreed to let him stay at Gr—with us."

"In that case I'm…sorry."

"Best thing I've heard in a while," I told him, smiling.

"You don't expect me to call him Draco, do you?"

"No, Weasley, that won't be necessary," Draco said.

The rest of detention was uneventful and awkwardly quiet. Exams came soon after. Hurricane Hermione was going full force, and Ron and I were swept away in a haze of endless studying. I didn't get a lot of time with Draco. The few times I managed to sneak away with him were for comfort rather than sex. As the holidays approached, Draco got more and more letters from Lucius until I asked Dumbledore to intercept his owls. He looked extra pale and cried a lot when we were together, but he was determined to come to Grimmauld Place with us.

TBC. Hopefully soon.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

Students left in the carriages to go to the Hogwarts Express, but Draco, Hermione, Ron, and I were still at the castle. We stood in just inside the gates waiting for Lupin so we could go to Grimmauld Place. Hermione was badgering Ron with frantic doubts about her exam answers. Draco hovered at my side, as close as he could be without actually touching me. He grabbed my hand when the gate creaked opened but pulled away looking embarrassed when Lupin entered.

Dumbledore stood and shrunk our trunks. He put them in some pocket hidden somewhere in his flourish of robes. _I wonder how many pockets are in that thing? He could probably hide all the Order in there and surprise the hell out of the Death Eaters_. "We are going to 12 Grimmauld Place," he stated clearly for Draco. "Remus, you take those two." He gestured at me and Draco. We all stepped outside the gates.

"Hello, boys," Lupin said as he indicated that we should grab his arms. _Apparating. I hate that feeling. _I grabbed his left arm. Draco hesitated. I watched him as we heard Dumbledore _POP_ away with Ron and Hermione. Draco still didn't take Lupin's arm.

"Perhaps you would feel more comfortable if you held Harry's hand as well?" Lupin suggested. Draco did another of his fish impressions before agreeing. He grabbed my hand firmly before setting a hand on Lupin's other arm. With that uncomfortable squeezing feeling that always comes with Apparating, we popped away and into Grimmauld Place. Dumbledore was already gone.

"What took you so long?" Ron exclaimed when we got there like it'd taken us an extra 2 hours instead of 2 minutes.

"I had to tie my shoe," I told him.

"To Apparate?"

"I didn't want it to get sucked off my foot in the Apparation vortex."

"Apparation can't suck your shoes off, Harry," Ron choked out in laughter.

"Shut up. I was raised by Muggles."

"Well, if you've finished," Lupin said with a smile, "All the way at the top of the stairs. Hermione on the left. Harry, Ron, and Draco, on the right. Don't go in the other rooms. We've had problems. It seems Kreacher has misplaced his housekeeping skills. Oh, and the loo up there is okay. Dumbledore left your trunks in the living room. I have things to do. See you for dinner."

Lupin headed into the kitchen. Hermione and I went toward our trunks, but Ron and Draco didn't follow. Hermione and I turned back to find Ron staring at Draco who was only a few steps behind us. His jaw was clenched, and I could see that he was upset. He gave Hermione a bored look and went over to his trunk.

"I am NOT sharing a room with him," Ron growled.

"Ron," Hermione sighed. I snorted.

"Being queer isn't contagious, Weasley. You all can argue about this. I am going upstairs."

Draco went upstairs with his trunk. Hermione called Ron an idiot. I asked him what his problem was. He wouldn't tell me, but he adamantly yelled that there was 'no way in hell' that he was sharing a room with 'fruitcake Ferret-face.' Now that Ron was working on leaving, I was going to do my best to help him, no matter how much Hermione wanted him to stay.

"Draco's right, isn't he?" I taunted.

"WHAT?" Ron exploded.

"You're both fucking idiots," Hermione muttered, grabbing her trunk. Ron and I both paused to stare at her. _Hermione said 'fucking'? I imagine we'll be crucified later_. She went upstairs, and Ron and I resumed our fight.

"You're afraid to catch queer. Don't worry about it, Ron. I'm sure you're as straight as I used to think I was. You won't wake up one morning and find yourself hard as hell from dreaming about cock. It doesn't happen that way…except when it does."

He hollered something about going to the Burrow while I headed up the stairs. I yelled a loud "Fuck you" over my shoulder. I stomped up the stairs, satisfied that there was no way he was sleeping with us now. The only open door was ours, but Draco wasn't in there. I sat down on one of the beds to wait. I started to get worried when he didn't come back after a few minutes. I heard a knocking in the hall and looked out the door to see Hermione.

"Harry? Draco? Are you almost done? I'm hoping to take a shower before dinner."

"Draco's in there," I told her, walking out into the hallway.

"I think he's crying," she whispered. She went back to her room and closed the door, leaving me alone facing the closed door.

"Draco?" I called. I didn't get an answer so I tried the door. It was unlocked. I opened it slowly. Draco was sitting on the floor, shirt off, holding his knees to his bare chest. "Draco? What's wrong?" I asked, kneeling beside him. Draco traced the thick X on his shoulder and shook his head.

"Ron's not staying. It's just us in there. He doesn't have to know. No one has to know. Put your shirt back on. Hermione wants a shower before dinner. And I want to see if our bedroom door closes."

Draco did, smiling. We went into our room to discover that the door does, in fact, close properly. When Draco pulled me onto the bed, I expected to be kissed. He put his head on my shoulder instead. I held him until Lupin came to get us for dinner.

Draco looked well put-together when we went downstairs. Arthur Weasley was with Ron and Hermione in the kitchen when Lupin, Draco, and I joined them. Mr. Weasley gave us an update on non-super-secret Order business, which mostly meant that we got to hear the news. Hermione asked a billion questions, and Draco even asked a few. Ron shoveled food into his mouth while staring at his plate. Ron must have already had a chat with Mr. Weasley (_though I'll bet the content was a little different in the retelling_) because when he went to leave, Ron followed with no reaction from Mr. Weasley but a shake of the head. Hermione said her goodbyes to Mr. Weasley but pointedly ignored Ron. Hermione was still irked with me, but she at least gave me a nod before she went to bed.

"Professor Lupin," Draco started quietly.

"I'm not your professor anymore, Draco. Just Lupin will do."

"Will people be…visiting while I'm here?"

"Yes. Sometimes people come and go, and there will be a big to-do on Christmas."

"What happens to me when people are here?"

"You have to stay upstairs. I'm sorry, Draco."

"I understand."

Draco and I went upstairs and closed the door to our room. He flopped backward onto the bed. I pulled his shoes off for him and kicked off my own before flopping down next to him. His pale skin practically glowed in the dusky light coming through the window. He idly trailed his fingers up and down my arm.

"I know this is hard for you," I told him.

"Make me," he said back.

"Make you what?"

"Hard. Make me hard. Make me forget. Make me feel. Make me safe."

I rolled onto him so he was squished into the mattress. I licked at his smiling lips before slipping my tongue into his mouth. I didn't know if he wanted a whirl-wind frenzy of distraction or the safety of a slow I-love-you-but-can't-say-it. We had our own room and the whole night, and he answered my unasked question. His tongue slowly pushed against mine. He rubbed his hands gently up and down my back. I pushed my weight off him with my left hand and put my right on his hip. He struggled to get his arms between us so he could unbutton his shirt. He flipped us over and pulled me to my feet. I laughed as I crashed into him trying to get my balance.

"Anything to get you closer to me," he grinned, yanking my shirt off. I pushed his from his shoulders. He tugged my trousers open and dropped to his knees when he pushed them down. He helped me step out of them and pulled my socks off. He wrapped fingers around my cock and made to put it in his mouth, but I stopped him.

"Come up here. This is about me making you feel safe."

"Maybe knowing that you trust me makes me feel safe."

"Maybe I want to hold you in my arms and look into your eyes."

He chucked his socks and trousers and stood up. He hooked his arms around my neck. "Maybe I want that, too."

I laid him gently back on the bed. He kept his arms around my neck, and I once again put my right hand on his hip. I slid that hand under his thigh and wrapped his leg around my waist. He groaned as our cocks pressed together then captured my lips in a feisty kiss. He turned his head away, gasping.

"Harry…Harry, please."

"What do you want, Draco?" I asked, kissing his neck. I pressed my hips down against his, making him moan.

"Do we…have…lube?" he panted.

"Don't know where," I whispered into his ear.

"Suck me. Take care of me."

I licked a solid trail down his chest and stomach. He dropped the leg that was around me as I moved down. His knees spread apart. I eagerly, albeit sloppily, tongued at his erection. I circled my hand around the base and slicked up one of my fingers as I sucked him. He must not have notice because when I moved that now-wet finger back, he practically jumped out of his skin.

I pulled my mouth away so I could ask, "Is this okay?"

"Yes. Just…"

"Just what?"

"Careful."

"Always."

I watched his face as I slowly pushed my finger in, watching for discomfort. He gave a groan of pleasure. Satisfied that I wasn't hurting him, I went back to enthusiastically sucking his cock. He moaned obscenities as I pushed that finger in and out. I didn't know how much longer a spit-slick finger would be comfortable, so I tried to gently hurry. I curled my finger and tongued the slit at the head of his cock. He grabbed a fist full of my hair and held my head down. I concentrated on breathing through my nose as his legs spread a little farther apart. I trailed the fingers of my unoccupied hand along his hip bone and then lightly over his balls. His hips jerked, and my throat spasmed when he pushed past my gag-reflex. I choked convulsively as he spurted come down my throat. He let go of his grip on my hair. When I sat up, I held a hand over my mouth until I could swallow it all down. I crawled up next to him.

"Kiss me," he panted.

"But I just…my mouth has your…"

"It's going to happen sooner or later. Might as well be now," he said, lips descending onto mine. His now-soft cock was pressed against my thigh. It was weird to think of him tasting his come in my mouth, but I didn't think about it for long. He had his fingers wrapped around my cock. Every time his thumb skimmed across the head the fingers of his other hand pinched at one of my nipples. I moaned shamelessly into his mouth.

I whimpered pitifully as I threw a leg over his hip. I felt my balls slap against him every time I thrust up into his hand. His tongue moved with every thrust of my hips, and there was no other word for it, he was tongue-fucking my mouth. My fingers dug into his shoulders and my body tightened as I came.

"You make me safe," I whispered, brushing the hair from his forehead and kissing it.

TBC. Thanks to teentypist for keeping me in line and catching my imagination when it got away from me. To everyone, I appreciate the reviews and the recommendations.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I woke up in the morning anxious at finding myself naked. I usually remembered to dress before sleeping, but we'd fallen asleep comfortably tangled before it had even occurred to me. I didn't know if Draco had ever caught sight of what I was desperately hiding. He never said anything; I never asked. I wanted to believe that he'd tell me if he did. I _needed_ to believe that he'd tell me if he did. I slipped out of bed to the sound of his steady snoring. I threw pajamas on, picked up clean clothes, and headed to take a shower. I stripped off while I waited for the water to warm up.

I tried to look at my backside in the mirror, but the mirror was too high. I tip-toed but still couldn't see. I gave up and just took my shower. I tried to quash the little guilty feeling I always got when I thought about hiding myself from Draco. I toweled off and dressed. I didn't want to go back and face Draco. Just because he didn't know I felt guilty doesn't mean I wasn't ashamed of myself. I left my pajamas on the bathroom floor so I could avoid our room. I went straight downstairs to breakfast.

_I may have miss calculated on this one_.

"Good morning, Harry," Draco greeted me as I walked into the kitchen. Hermione gave me a curt nod. _Still pissed, I see_. Lupin wasn't there. I picked a blueberry muffin from a bowl on the counter and sat at the table. Hermione finished the last few bites of her toast quickly. She washed her plate in the sink before silently leaving the room. _I see that she is still anti-house elf. _I ate small bites and stared down at my plate. I was irrationally afraid that I might choke on my guilt if I put too much muffin in my mouth. Draco attempted conversation a few times, but I mostly nodded or gave one word answers.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"What the fuck is your problem?" he snapped at me. My gaze snapped up to look at him.

"What?"

"You told me you wouldn't lie to me." He stormed out right after.

"Draco, wait," I called after him. I caught up to him in the hallway.

"You. Lied. To. Me."

"Filthy blood traitors and half-breeds in my house," the portrait of Mrs. Black yelled. Draco almost jumped out of his skin and hugged me. I yanked the curtain closed. Draco stepped back and looked at me like I'd pulled him to me. He started up the stairs.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"You failed," he spat, whirling around to face me. I hauled it up the steps behind him. I barely caught the bedroom door when he tried to slam it behind him. I closed it quietly behind me. He stood in the middle of the room, face red and jaw clenched.

"I'm sorry," I said again. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"You swore you wouldn't lie to me. But you did. And don't even think of coming over here. You can't just hug me and take back what you said. Just go away. I don't want to talk to you."

"If it matters that much, I'll just tell you what I was thinking about."

"I don't care what you were thinking about. Well, I mean I care, but not knowing isn't my problem. You lied to me. You could have just said that you don't want to talk about it. That's fine. I wouldn't have pushed it. But no. You lied."

"I didn't mean it that way. People say 'nothing' all the time when they just don't want to talk about something. I wasn't trying to trick you."

"That is not my point."

"Every time I wake up naked with you, I feel scared. I'm scared that you're going to see… just see. I feel guilty every damn time. I can't tell you, show you. I'm sorry about that. I hate that I can't do it. After everything you've told me, I still can't. I'm so sorry. Draco, I'm just sorry."

He took a few steps toward me.

"Don't. We can't fix this with a hug because I sound pathetic right now. I don't want a pity 'let's forget about this.' That's not why I told you."

I turned and went downstairs. I settled onto the couch in the living room with a book I found on a desk in there. It was horribly boring, and I mostly just stared at the pages while thinking about Draco. Eventually the book dropped to my chest, and I fell asleep.

_I looked around me trying to get a glimpse of what was chasing me. As I circled around, I couldn't see anything through the dark shadows of the trees in the Forbidden Forest. I finally caught sight of a shadowy figure, but I couldn't make out who it was. I saw a flicker of movement to my left and spun around. _Oh, my god. It's Snape. _Another Snape stepped out from behind a tree. _Oh, shit. Two Snapes. _A third Snape stepped into view. I tried to keep count as more and more appeared, but I lost count at thirty. _Oh, fuck. An _army_ of Snapes. _Thunder boomed. I expected to feel water drops. Instead, Frisbees rained down. _No, not Frisbees. _Hats._ Ugly hats. _Large hats with big brims floated down. A bird was perched delicately on each hat. A hat landed precisely on each Snape's head. When the hats settled, the Snapes' long black robes changed to hideous green tweed skirt suits. _Where have I seen these before? The boggart. _The Snape army was dressed like Neville's grandmother. I reached into my robe for my wand. I pointed it at one of the Snapes and cast a Jelly-legs jinx. When nothing happened, I stared down at the wand in my hand, only I wasn't holding my wand. I had an ordinary stick. I threw it on the ground and reached for my wand again. Another stick. I tossed it on the ground and kept trying. The Snape army circled around me while I pulled stick after stick out of my pocket. When the Snapes stopped approaching and joined hands, the drab birds on the hats burst into colorful parrots with _pop-pop-pop _noises. I kept turning in a circle to keep an eye on them. "Ahoy, matey," one of the parrots squawked. More parrots started up after that. Choruses of "Yo-ho-ho" serenaded me as the parrots took flight. I kept throwing useless non-wand sticks on the ground. Soon a big ring of sticks surrounded me. Lightening crashed down. A ridiculous lightening-pineapple struck the discarded sticks and lit them on fire. I felt a little safer until I saw parrots flying over the ring of fire. "Arg, where's me treasure?" "Captain. Captain Crunch." "Avast, ye land-lubbers." The parrots seemed much less terrifying once they were separated from their Snape counterparts. The flames leapt higher, and I couldn't see the Snape army any more. One by one the parrots flew off until only one remained. It slowly circled down and landed on my shoulder. I half expected it to bite my ear. Instead, the bright bird nuzzled my cheek. "You shiver me timbers," it told me sweetly. "Awwww," I cooed back to it. "Harry," it squawked in my ear affectionately. "Mmmmm." "Harry?" "You sound weird, Peg-Leg Pete," I told him. "Harry?" I reached a hand up and gently stroked its feathers. "It's okay, Pete. I'm right here." "Who is Pete?" _Draco's here? Why didn't he help me fight off the Snapes? _I turned toward Draco's voice. _

I didn't see him in the forest like I expected. He sat beside the couch in the Grimmauld living room. My fingers were tangled in his hair. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Who's Pete?"

"Parrot," I said sleepily. I looked at him as the world started to make more sense. _Oh, crap. Our fight_. "Draco, are we okay?"

"That's why I'm down here," he sighed.

"Come up here," I said, sitting up and patting the couch next to me. He moved before speaking again.

"I've been thinking about what happened. I get what you were saying. I know you weren't trying to be awful. I get why you didn't want to tell me, and I won't ask you to talk about it now. I got so upset because I couldn't see past getting lied to. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't count on you. I over-reacted; I didn't mean to push you into telling me."

"I'm glad we're okay," I told him. "I hate watching you hurt."

"Harry, how can we do this when we're both so…us?"

"Us?"

"…damaged."

"You're not damaged, Draco."

"What do you call it then? Look at me. Everything hits me hard, scares me, hurts me. I'm fragile. I'm weak. I'm damaged."

"You can't be damaged," I whispered.

"Why not?"

"Because if you're damaged, I'm damaged. And if I'm damaged, I can't beat Voldemort."

"You can do anything, Harry."

"Draco, so can you."

"Not without you."

"You have me."

Draco smiled at me before catching my lips with his. It started slow, like he just needed to know that he really did have me. _Damaged, damaged, damaged_ kept going through my mind, and fuck if I wasn't going to kiss him until every trace of that word was gone from his mouth. I pushed my tongue right past his lips. He met it eagerly. It might be kind of stupid, but it made everything right. We were okay. We weren't damaged. I let him pull me onto him as he lay back. He draped his arms loosely around my neck. He seemed content to let me do what I wanted, so after a few moments it was mostly tongue. It was sloppy and wet, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. There was something uncomplicated about focusing all your attention on the person you're kissing and none on the amount of saliva spreading across the lower part of your face. Draco hooked one of his ankles over my calf. I was lost in him, every twitch of his hips, every noise from his lips.

The loud sound of someone clearing their throat startled me. Draco and I turned at the same time to see Lupin staring at us from the doorway. I tried to discreetly wipe my chin on the sleeve of my shirt as I turned, but I'm not sure how subtle it actually was. I couldn't tell if Lupin was angry or amused. Draco was embarrassed. He groaned and buried his face in my neck.

"We are having company for dinner and then an Order meeting," Lupin told us. "Draco, I'm sorry, but that means you have to stay upstairs."

"Mmm hmm," Draco mumbled against my neck.

"And perhaps you should refrain from _this_ particular activity." He paused before adding "in the living room at least." Lupin quietly walked out of the room. I still couldn't tell if he was angry or amused.

"Is he gone?" Draco whispered against my neck.

"He's gone. You can come out now," I laughed.

"DAMNIT, Draco," I hollered as he sunk his teeth into my neck.

"That's what you get for laughing at me," he told me. When we stood, I chased him up the stairs. I slammed the door to our room behind us and tackled him onto the bed.

"Payback's a bitch," I growled before sucking on his neck.

He started out with a chuckle, but soon he was groaning. He thrust up against the thigh I had between his legs. We always kept the curtains closed and hadn't bothered to turn the light on, so it was shadowy in our room. I liked the light level. I could see Draco, but my back would look normal if he saw it. Draco whimpered as I ground down against him. I lifted off him enough to tug at his shirt. I moved down to lick at every new inch of skin as he pulled his shirt over his head. I teased a nipple with my tongue. He pushed my head down onto his chest, and I started to use my teeth. He moaned and pulled frantically at my shirt. I yanked it over my head and then latched onto Draco's other nipple. He seemed to really like it when I used my teeth, so I didn't hesitate to use them again. I alternated between biting down and swirling my tongue around it. He was positively squirming under me when I kissed my way down. I slid my tongue under the waistband of his trousers while I undid the fly. I roughly slid his pants down as I licked at his cock. I could only reach to his knees, so that's where they stayed. I crawled back up him and nipped at his collarbone, his shoulder, his neck before sucking at his earlobe.

"Fuck, Harry. So hot. Take me. Claim me," Draco choked out.

He kicked his pants off when I stood up to take off my own. I grabbed the lube and had my fingers slicked by the time I pounced back onto him. His legs were already spread for me. He whimpered as I traced his entrance with one wet finger. He might have wanted me to claim him, but I was going to claim him carefully. _There's a difference between biting at his neck and fucking him too soon_. I remembered his face that first time. I was determined to never see that face again. He sighed when I finally pushed that finger in. I waited a moment before adding a second. When he started pushing down against my hand, I added a third.

"Are you ready?" I growled in his ear.

"For you. Yes. Please," he whispered.

I sucked at his earlobe as I slicked my cock. I lined up to push in, and he wrapped his legs around my waist. I recaptured his lips. I pushed my tongue into his mouth at the same pace I pushed my cock into him. It seemed dirty somehow to basically fuck his mouth in time to fucking the rest of him, but it felt really really good. After what I hoped was enough time for Draco to get used to me, I thrust a little deeper. I was invading his mouth with my tongue to the point that I was getting dizzy. He rocked up against me. I took this as permission to go faster. He whimpered and moaned into my mouth every time I pressed into him. I slid my hand between our sweat-slicked bodies to grasp his cock. I pulled away from his mouth and sucked on his neck.

"Draco, I'm…I'm going to…" I sunk my teeth into his neck as I came. It felt strange when he came a minute later, muscles clenching around my spent cock. I kissed him gently as I lay next to him in the afterglow.

"Why did you like that so much?" I asked him softly.

"You didn't?" he whispered back, turning his head away from me.

"I did. But I thought that I might have been too rough on you."

"It didn't hurt. Not really, anyway. And it made me feel wanted."

TBC. Thanks again to teentypist. Thanks to everyone who's been patient with my slow updating.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

Draco slept wrapped around me. He seemed worried that I might disappear for a few more hours, even though he knew I'd only been downstairs for dinner. I woke up when he sleep-nuzzled my neck. He was still curled tight around me.

_I'm scared_, I admitted to myself in the dark. _I'm scared of how much he needs me. What if I'm not good enough for him? I still can't give him everything, tell him everything. What happens if I can never do that for him? He'll be disappointed in me. It'll hurt him. I don't want to hurt him. What if I show him my scars and it changes things? Where the hell is my Gryffindor courage? What if I break if I tell him? _When _I tell him. If I tell him._

"You're squirming and sighing." Draco said sleepily. "What are you thinking about?"

"Noth- I don't really want to talk about it."

"Mmm 'kay," he mumbled as he drifted back to sleep.

He was in the shower when I woke up again. I dressed and went downstairs for breakfast. I found Hermione alone in the kitchen.

"Good morning," I said to her as I sad down at the table with a plate of toast.

"…"

"Is there anything good in there?" I asked, gesturing to the _Prophet_ she was holding.

"…"

"Hermione? Please?"

"You didn't have to do that to Ron," she said before she walked out.

I chewed my toast a little more viciously than was actually necessary for bread. I spilled tea in my lap and stubbed my toe when I got up. I mumbled obscenities as I headed upstairs to change. The bathroom door was still closed when I go up there. I changed trousers, intending to go back downstairs. When I opened the bedroom door, the bathroom was empty and the door to Hermione's room was ajar. I was about to ignore it, but I heard Draco's voice. I tip-toed over and stood quietly listening. I briefly wondered if it was wrong to eavesdrop, but I told myself that if they wanted privacy they would have closed the door.

"…did it for me," I heard Draco say.

"He did it for sex," Hermione shot back.

"No, he didn't," Draco replied.

"They why?"

"There are… some things that I…if Weasley knew…I can't let that happen. Harry won't let that happen. I'm sorry it messed things up for you. Harry hates that you're mad at him. I just can't let you keep thinking he did this to you. He'd never tell you, but it's my fault."

"I should have talked to Harry before acting like such a child. You shouldn't have had to share this with me. I'm sorry, Draco."

"Better you than Weasley."

"He's not that bad. Well, he won't be when he gets used to this."

"Hermione," Draco said hesitantly, "I want to give you a gesture of friendship and thanks, but I do not know how."

"Perhaps at this stage of our getting to know each other, a handshake would be appropriate."

I darted downstairs silently. The doors to the living room were closed, so I went into the study. I picked up a book from a nearby shelf and sat down in a big armchair. _At least this one looks interesting_. I heard footsteps in the hall. I expected to see Draco when I looked up, but I saw Hermione instead.

"Good morning, Harry," she said quietly.

"Talking to me again?" I asked even though I knew the answer while I waved her into the chair opposite me. She sat.

"I was acting like a child. I apologize."

"Thank you, though I understand why you were pissed."

"That doesn't excuse my behavior."

"Is Ron at least coming to visit you?"

"Yes. He'll be coming back and forth with the rest of the Weasleys for the days around Christmas. Is Draco going to be okay stuck upstairs the whole time?"

"He has to be," I sighed. "I'm more worried about what happens when we go back."

"Well, I'm here if either of you need me." She stood like she was going to leave.

"What made you change your mind?"

"About what?"

"Being pissed at me."

"Time to think."

I wasn't sure if that meant that Draco had told her not to tell me. I let her go without further questions. I wondered if Draco was going to say anything to me later. The book I had chosen turned out to be a Wizarding murder mystery. I kept trying to guess the culprit, but magic kept messing up my theories. Several hours later I was just pages from finding out who did it.

"Lunch?"

I jumped when I heard Draco's voice. He laughed.

"It's well after one," Draco said. "Are you planning on eating?"

"After I finish this. Is it really that late?"

"It is. Hermione's making some kind of weird Muggle food. Join us when you're done. Don't let your shadow scare you in the hall."

I stuck my tongue out at him. After I finished the book, I joined Draco and Hermione in the kitchen. Hermione had made a pizza at which Draco was staring dubiously. Hermione and I each dug into a slice of the pepperoni pizza. Draco picked up the knife Hermione used to cut the pizza and poked at his slice with it. He used it to pry up a slice of pepperoni. He made a face at the stringy cheese that clung to the knife.

"Grow a set and take a bite," I told him. He glared at me but put the knife down. He gingerly took a bite. He chewed slowly.

"Not terrible," he conceded. He ate most of his slice before setting it back on his plate and looking at me. I was wiping cheesy grease off my fingers with a napkin when he spoke. "Did you and Hermione make up this morning?"

"Yes. Why do you ask?"

"You smiled at each other when I examined my food. You've barely looked at each other in days."

"I apologized for my behavior," Hermione added.

"Did she tell you that we talked?" Draco asked me.

"No, she didn't."

"Well, we did."

"Do you want me to go so you two can talk privately?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

"No, it's fine, Hermione. We should probably go upstairs for this," Draco replied.

I put our dishes in the sink. Draco was already gone when I turned back around. Hermione gave me a reassuring smile. Draco was acting edgy when I got upstairs. It made me wonder if I'd missed part of their earlier conversation. He gushed out a jumbly sentence as I shut the door.

"I told Hermione that you ran Ron off so that he wouldn't find out my secrets and not so that we could have sex."

"Will you tell me what all you told her? I don't want to accidentally mention something you didn't."

"I just told her that there was stuff I didn't want Weasley to know. She doesn't pry."

"That's a good thing about her. Why were so you nervous about telling me?"

"I didn't say I was nervous."

"You were pacing and most of that sentence came out as one word."

"The idea of someone else knowing scares me. I know she won't pry and she won't guess, but it makes my stomach churn. I still get queasy when I think about you knowing. I know that's stupid."

"Come here, Draco." I wrapped my arms around him, and he laid his head on my shoulder. "It's not stupid."

Knowing that Draco would soon have to spend most of his time hiding upstairs, we stayed downstairs for most of the next few days. Hermione did her Muggle "home school" work over the holidays and summers. I never understood why she wanted to do twice as much school work. She used the mornings for chemistry and the afternoons for Muggle history. Draco found "Muggle potions" fascinating and often spent time working with Hermione on her chemistry. I read more of the Wizarding mystery novels while they were studying.

Draco and I played quite a few games of chess. Most games I lost. The last night before Grimmauld Place would be bombarded by Weasleys and the Order we stayed up late playing a final match downstairs. I lost a rook and a bishop early on. It didn't take long for Draco to have me pinned. He was about to capture my second knight when I slid my foot up his leg. He let out an awkward gasp-hiccup. I must have succeeded in distracting him because he forgot about my knight and captured a pawn instead. Every time he was about to make a good move or I wanted to make one without him noticing I pressed my foot into his lap. By the time I checkmated him, I could feel his cock absolutely straining against his trousers. We were about to go upstairs when Lupin asked if he could have a word with me. Draco gave me a pained look and stiffly walked out. Lupin took the seat across from me.

"People will be coming tomorrow," he told me.

"I know."

"You can't stay upstairs with him."

"I know," I said.

"I mean it, Harry."

"I know," I sighed.

Lupin gestured that it was okay for me to go, so I went straight up to our room. I expected to see Draco waiting impatiently. Instead, he was lying on the bed, trousers open, cock out. His eyes were closed, and it was clear to me that he hadn't heard me come in. I stood, back to the closed door, and watched.

It wasn't long before I was rubbing myself through my trousers, and not long after that they were undone. Soon my eyes were closed, and I was fisting my cock to the image of Draco burned onto my eyelids. Lips closed around the head of my cock. My eyes shot open, and the sight of Draco sucking me off pushed me over the edge.

"Having fun without me?" he asked, standing up.

"You started it."

"I'm finishing it," he groaned, stroking himself to orgasm and spraying me with come.

TBC.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

Lupin was right when he said that I wouldn't be able to hide out upstairs with Draco. We took our time together when we could, which meant at night and when I snuck food up to him. Hermione was a big help. It was easier for her to slip away than it was for me. Hermione promised to tell everyone that she had hogged the shower and that I would be down 'soon' on Christmas so that I could have a few moments with Draco. I intended to wake Draco up a little early, knowing that Hermione could only buy us so much time. He was smiling and muttering in his sleep. I held off on waking him so I could listen. I had to scoot closer before I could hear him.

"Mmmm, Harry," he said to himself. It looked like his hand was moving down his body under the sheet. _So much for listening. I'm going to play this game._

"I'm here, Draco," I whispered in his ear.

"What?" Draco mumbled sleepily. Now it was clear that his hand was moving over his cock.

"I'm here and I'm lonely. Play with me?" I whispered back, licking the shell of his ear. He jerked awake, smacking our heads together as he bolted upright.

"What the fuck?" Draco yelped, rubbing his head.

"Sorry," I said, rubbing my own.

"Why the hell did you do that?"

"You were sleep wanking. I wanted to wake you up so I could do that instead."

"So you licked me?"

"I thought you liked it when I lick you," I smirked, trying to get him back on track.

"Not when I'm _asleep_."

"I whispered first."

"Oh. Wait." A look of realization came over his face. "Did you say you woke me up to wank me off?"

"Yes."

"Get to it."

"Demanding, are we?"

"If I have t—"

I kissed the words from his lips. He kicked the sheet off and pulled me on top of him. Then he wrapped his legs around my waist.

"Fuck me instead," he gasped out between kisses.

"Can't last that long this early," I said against his lips. I scooted down the bed until I was face to face with his crotch. He lifted his hips up so I could take his pajama bottoms off. I stopped as soon as they were far enough down his thighs to expose his cock. I skipped preamble and went straight for it. He grabbed at my hair when my mouth closed over his cock. Between the taste of him and the sounds he was making, I was practically ready to burst, but I couldn't maneuver my hand down to stroke myself. Desperate for some kind of friction, I squirmed as I tongued his cock. I didn't realize I was frantically humping his leg until he said,

"Gods, Harry, I can feel how hard you are."

I moaned against his skin, and he came with a hoarse gasp. My formerly-loose pajama bottoms felt way too tight. I rolled off and nudged Draco away so I could remove them. He struggled, pajamas still around his knees, down to my feet to pull my bottoms all the way off. He started at my ankle and kissed up my leg.

"Draco, just do it," I groaned. "I'm already so close."

But he skipped over my cock and kissed my stomach. He stuck his tongue in my belly button and wrapped his hand tightly around the base of my cock. If his grip had been more teasing, I might have come already. He suddenly moved to suck at me, and I cried out. It took only a few well-placed licks before I shot off into his mouth.

I was already out of breath when Draco comically crawled back up to me while trying to pull his pajamas back on. He tangled himself up and face-planted into my armpit. My lungs were burning for air as I silently laughed at him.

"I have a present for you," I told him when I could finally suck in enough air to talk.

"You shouldn't have," he said, looking a little embarrassed. "I didn't get you anything."

I reached down to the floor beside the bed where I had set his gift. I handed him a neatly wrapped present when I sat back down beside him. He opened it slowly. His face lit up when he could see inside.

"It's beautiful," he said, running his fingers over the framed photo of the two of us.

"I had Hermione take it," I told him. Photo-Harry and Photo-Draco were holding hands and playing a game of chess, all the while making smoldering, seductive faces at each other.

"You know I'm going to look at this all day, right?"

"I'm sorry I have to go."

"I know you are."

It wouldn't be long before someone came looking for me and I still needed to take a shower. I reluctantly scooted to the edge of the bed to get up, but I realized I couldn't just stand up bare-arsed. With a sigh, Draco handed me my pajamas. I dressed in a hurry and gave Draco one more kiss. He tried to look like everything was okay, but I saw him frowning when he didn't think I could see him. I sighed to myself and grabbed clean clothes and my towel on the way out.

I took a quick shower, figuring that the sooner I got downstairs the sooner I could come back, even though I know that time doesn't actually work that way. I toweled off. I couldn't find boxers in my stack of clean clothes. I wrapped my towel around me with the intention of sprinting to the bedroom and back. I unlatched the door. Instead of opening it caught on something on the floor. Dirty pajamas. I kicked them aside and noticed my clean boxers on the floor beside them. _Must have fallen_. I picked them up and turned to put them on the counter on top of my jeans and shirt. I carelessly dropped the towel so I could dress.

I had one foot in my boxers when I saw the reflection of the door opening in the mirror. I scrambled to cover myself, stubbed my toe, and yelped "Out, damnit" as I turned my back away from the door. I caught only a glimpse of Draco's blond hair as he turned and angrily slammed the door. I heard the bedroom door slam, too.

Angry at both of us, I kicked the door. It wasn't a particularly wise move. My already-sore toe took the brunt of the impact. I hopped back, boxers still around one foot, clutching my foot. Off balance, I fell back into the bathtub. I was glad I was still naked because I was wet again. I clumsily got up. I toweled off and dressed. I took a deep breath and then went to face what promised to be a very long day.

TBC. Not as long as the others. The next one should be coming soon. As always, thanks for reading.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

The downstairs of Grimmauld Place was swarming with Weasleys. With the exception of Percy, or the Weasley-who-must-not-be-named as Ron had started calling him, all the Weasleys were there. Mrs. Weasley was arranging a pile of wrapped packages that promised to be sweaters. Mr. Weasley had a mouth full of bacon. Charlie and Bill were talking to Hermione about dragons. _Probably thinking about dragons and Muggle biology_. Ginny was glued to Lupin and Tonks like she was going to need protection while she shot furtive glances in my direction. Fred and George were ring around the roseying around Ron, occasionally Apparating away and then back to scare him. Kingsley and Moody were having a spirited discussion about Christmas. Moody doesn't do spirited. I figured it was probably some kind of secret code. Mrs. Weasley smothered me in a giant hug as soon as she saw me and then steered me toward a table of food.

"Harry, dear, you're all skin and bones. Eat."

"Yes, Mrs. Weasley," I replied smiling. I piled bacon and eggs on a plate and squeezed into a chair at the table. I was, rather uncomfortably, smushed between two order members whom I'd never met. Both ignored me. For a brief moment.

"You're Harry Potter," the man on my right exclaimed. _Here we go_. I nodded, unable to speak around my mouthful of bacon. He reached over to shake my hand. I held up my greasy fingers away from him trying to give him a hint not to shake it. He took it anyway. I managed to catch Hermione's eye and gave her a pleading, pitiful look.

"I'm glad you're here," she said, coming over. "I need to talk to you."

"Young lady," the hand-shaker said, "must you interrupt his breakfast?"

"It's very important," Hermione told him.

"But this is _Harry Potter_," he whispered, like it wasn't totally obvious. His facial expression said that he didn't understand how anyone could interrupt Harry Potter's breakfast and that Hermione should be sent to Azkaban.

"It's okay. She's a friend from Hogwarts. I'm coming, Hermione." I pushed my chair back from the table so I could squeeze back out. As I pulled my feet out from under the table in the small space I _accidentally_ kicked Mr. Hermione-hater in the shin. "Sorry, I didn't realize your leg was so close," I told him.

I went with Hermione to as far away from that guy as possible. She regaled me with a recap of Charlie's dragon stories while I finished my breakfast. She walked with me back to the food table so I could fill the plate for Draco. Mrs. Weasley came over while I was adding a third piece of toast.

"I'm so glad you're having seconds, Harry. You're a growing boy, and you're just too skinny for your own good." She gave me an affectionate pat on the back before walking away. I rolled my eyes at Hermione. She poured a cup of tea for Draco and we headed out of the kitchen. We were almost out the door when I heard my name.

"Here," I said, handing the plate to Hermione. She took it without a word and headed out before she could be stopped. I turned around only to be led back out of the room with an energetic Weasley arm around my shoulders. Fred, _or was it George_, led me into the empty study. We sat down and were joined by George, _or was it Fred_, before we had even started talking.

"We have some business to discuss with you," Fred said. _Or was it George? Fuck that. Twin A._

"Business?" I repeated skeptically.

"Weasley Wizard Wheezes," said Twin A.

"We're thinking about a new genre of products," Twin B said.

"Do whatever you want," I told them.

"George and I are already working on prototypes," Fred said. "We're hoping you might test them for us."

"Oh, no," I said getting up. "I am not testing anything for you two. Pick someone else. Try picking someone stupid. You'll have more luck."

"But you're the best candidate," they said in unison with gleeful smiles. _This can't be good_.

"I know I'm going to regret this. Why?"

"Well, we're making a Restricted Section of the store for sex toys, lubes, lotions, and the like. And a little birdie—"

"Whose name is Ron, by the way," George interrupted.

"Ron told us that you have a secret lover hidden away upstairs. Privacy and a companion. Perfect for product testing."

"He told you WHAT? Go get him in here."

"Now, Harry," Fred said mockingly, "sex is perfectly natural. There's no need to be embarrassed."

"If you do not get him in here right fucking now I will tell your mother what you put in the pumpkin juice at Hogwarts before you left."

"I see our benefactor is a bit cranky," Fred said as George skipped out to find Ron. I was sure the two of them would have been more than happy to provide Ron as a form of entertainment, but I didn't have the patience.

"May I present the captive, King Harry Hiney-ness," George said with a bow when he returned. The twins laughed riotously.

"Get it?" Fred asked, elbowing me. "_Hairy _hiney."

"Genius," I snapped sarcastically. I turned to Ron.

"What do you want?" he asked me.

"You fucking told them about," I ranted at him, pointing toward the ceiling.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist," he retorted. "I don't know why you're so upset, anyway. I didn't tell them his name."

"His?" the twins repeated. Ron cringed as soon as he realized what he said. I lunged at him, but Fred held me back.

"Like you could have kept it a secret forever anyway," Ron smirked back, confident now that I was restrained. _Pansy_.

"Get the fuck out of here before I beat the shit out of you," I hollered at him, breaking away from Fred. Ron fled. I tried to go after him, but suddenly I had a twin on each arm holding me back. I was red-faced and fuming.

"What's going on in here?" Lupin asked sternly. "I can hear you yelling from the hallway. You're lucky I was the only one out there, or you'd have an audience right now. I know you don't like hearing this, Harry, and I know that you have a lot to deal with, but you _cannot_ do this in front of company."

"We will take care of it. Harry will be sweet as pie when bring him back," George said.

"If he isn't, I will tell your mother," Lupin threatened before he walked out and closed the door.

"Why is everyone always threatening to tell our mum?" Fred asked.

"Because she's scary," George told him.

"There is that," Fred conceded as he sat me down on the couch.

"Alright, Harry, let's talk," George said after the twins sat down in matching armchairs across from me.

"I don't want to talk. This isn't a joke. It's not funny. I don't want to hear any shit from the two of you. I want to be left alone."

"We joke about a lot of things, Harry," George started. Fred finished with,

"But not about this."

"Then what do you want?" I sighed. I kept my eyes trained on the floor where I was scuffing the carpet with the toe of my sneaker.

"You don't seem to be taking this very well," George commented.

"How am I supposed to be taking it?" I snapped. "I'm a freak. I have this stupid scar. Everyone gawks at me. I'm 16 and supposed to save the whole damn world. Everything is so fucking difficult all the time. And now this. It's not supposed to be this way. I wasn't supposed to be…"

"Gay?" George finished. I nodded.

"Are you happy with him?" Fred asked me.

"I don't really want to talk about this."

"Are you happy with him?" George pressed.

"Yes," I reluctantly whispered.

"If you're happy, why are you so upset?"

"It's just not that easy, Fred."

"But _why_?"

"Fred," George said to his brother, "maybe you should go check on Ron."

"I really don't think—" Fred dropped the rest of the sentence when he saw the look on his brother's face. He nodded in my direction and left the room.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Harry."

"Then why am I such a freak?"

"You're not a freak. Would you think less of me if I told you I was gay?"

"Of course not…are you?"

"No, but you're not the only person I know who is. Would that change the way you think about him?"

"No."

"Then why do you think we would think of you differently?"

"Muggles," I whispered.

"What about Muggles?"

"It's not okay for Muggles. It's disgusting and wrong. All my life I've heard about how terrible and messed up those people are."

"Harry, your relatives told you that magic was perverted and wrong, and look at how wonderful magic is. They're idiots. I'm not going to tell you that everyone will understand and like this, but it won't be as bad as you think. Wizards have a much more flexible way of looking at these things. Oh, and your cousin deserved every last one of those ton-tongue toffees that we hid in that house."

I laughed. "There were more?"

"They didn't tell you?" George laughed with me.

"They never told me anything. Well, except how stupid and worthless and pathetic I am."

"You aren't any of those things. Think of everything you taught to Dumbledore's Army last year. And even though you grew up living with those shitheads, you're a good person. What matters is that you like this guy. The people who care about you will accept it. If not, I'm sure Fred and I would be delighted to use them as test subjects for new Wheezes products."

"And Ron?"

"He'll get over it. Now, on to more important things. What's his name?"

"Don't you think you've pried enough for one day?"

"There's no such thing as too much prying. As a Christmas present, however, I will save this for another day. Shall we rejoin the festivities before Lupin comes in here and turns us into dragon food for Charlie to take back to Romania?"

TBC.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

George and I went back out. Our talk had made me feel better, but the idea of everything getting out kept me on edge. _Who knows what Ron said while we were in there. He has a big mouth. I hope that George is right and he'll_

"CONSTANT VIGILANCE," Fred hollered into my ear.

"Jesus mother fu- hello, Professor McGonagall."

"Hello, Mr. Potter. I trust that you have been practicing your Transfiguration."

"Minerva, I really must speak to you," Mr. Weasley called.

"Excuse me, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley. Enjoy your holiday."

"Ah, Mr. Potter, I see you've returned," Mr. Hermione-hater said, leading me by the elbow away from Fred. "I work in the Ministry of Magic's personnel department. I'm quite certain that once this war is over and you've come of age, you'll be offered all sorts of opportunities. I was hoping that with a little negotiation now, we can set you on the path to your dream Ministry career. I was wondering which of your Hogwarts classes is your favorite?"

"Well, I, um, oh, there's someone waving me over. I have to go."

I darted away before Mr. Hermione-hater could stop me. _God, that man is annoying_. I looked for someone who wouldn't be terrible to talk to. I found Mr. Weasley by himself filling up a glass of water.

"Hi, Mr. Weasley. Are you having a good Christmas?"

"What?" he asked distractedly.

"Are you having a good Christmas?" I repeated.

"Oh, yes. Sorry, Harry, but I've got to run. Death Eaters don't stop for Christmas. You know how these things are."

With that, Mr. Weasley Disapparated from Grimmauld Place. _I hope it's not really bad._ I looked around the room. Kingsley, Lupin, Tonks, and Moody were all still enjoying the festivities. Well, Moody wasn't exactly enjoying. He was sniffing each beverage, probably for poison, before finally pouring himself a cup of tea. I turned around to see who I could talk to that wouldn't bore me to death, and I ran into Ron who had come up behind me.

"I'm sorry, Harry," he said.

"Do you mean that or did Fred and George threaten you?" I asked skeptically.

"Fred and George? They haven't said anything to me. I didn't realize what I was saying until it came out."

"And after that?"

"I wa-"

"Ronald Weasley," Mrs. Weasley yelled at him, "what part of 'slice the tomatoes and onions' means talk to Harry? Sorry, Harry dear, but Ron is needed in the kitchen."

I never got to hear what Ron was going to say. He darted off before Mrs. Weasley started yelling with his middle name. I played hide from Mr. Hermione-hater until Christmas dinner. When Mrs. Weasley finally called for us all to sit down to eat, I took inventory of the remaining guests.

Mr. Weasley came running in at the very last moment. He looked as though he expected Mrs. Weasley to scold him, which wouldn't be all that unusual, but she didn't. She gave him a pointed look and gestured to the only empty chair.

Moody was gone. _I doubt he'd have eaten anyway. You never know which of us is secretly trying to kill him. _

Tonks, Lupin, some of the other Order members I recognized, and some that I didn't were seated among a flaming-red connect-the-dots of Weasleys.

I ended up beside Hermione. We looked around and realized at the same time that Mr. Hermione-hater had left the party. _And good riddance._

Mrs. Weasley had cooked enough for three dinners, but considering how Weasley boys eat, it was probably necessary. I hadn't had a chance to ask Hermione about Draco, but despite our proximity, there wasn't enough privacy to risk it. I picked at my food, thinking about him.

"Arthur," Lupin said, "how was your errand?"

"Fine. Just a little traffic jelly."

"Jelly? Arthur, be serious," Kingsley told him.

"Harry, what's that Muggle phrase? I really thought I had this one right."

"It's 'traffic jam,'" Hermione told him.

"Thank you, Hermione. Yes, just a bit of a traffic jam."

"Traffic jam? Where, Arthur?"

"The northern lights."

"No, seriously, Dad?" one of the twins asked.

"Is that not right either?"

"What were you going for, Mr. Weasley?" I asked.

"That place where the tiny Muggles make toys."

"The North Pole?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Why do tiny Muggles make toys?" Ron asked.

"They aren't tiny Muggles, Ron. They're elves," I told him.

"Muggles have elves? Then how come your stupid cousin and fat uncle-"

"Ron Weasley," Mrs. Weasley, Fred, and George all scolded, although the twins seemed to find it amusing rather than scold-worthy.

"Must the two of you act like—"

"Children," Fred and George finished. "We know, Mum."

"But, seriously, Muggles have elves? Why were those stu—Dursleys so upset about Dobby?"

"Muggles don't have elves, Ron," Hermione said, rolling her eyes. "Elves are a fictional part of Muggle Christmas traditions."

"Is that pole-thingy a Muggle Christmas thing, too?"

"Yes, but Mr. Weasley, there aren't really elves at the North Pole. Where did you go?"

"Well, er, this is a wonderful dinner, Molly," Arthur said.

"Fine, whatever," Ron interrupted before Mrs. Weasley could respond. "I want to hear more about the polar elves."

"Ron, there are polar bears and Christmas elves, but there are no polar elves," Fred told him like he was explaining it to a small child.

"What makes you think you know anything about it?" Ron asked, glaring at his brother.

"Research," the twins responded in unison.

"Research for what?" Mrs. Weasley asked suspiciously.

"Nothing."

"Not a thing."

"Zip."

"Zero."

"Zilch."

"If the two of you are going to market Wheezes products to Muggles, you will be in so much trouble you'll be begging to go to Azkaban."

"I still want to hear about the Muggle elves," Ron complained.

"Alright, Ron. The story goes like this. There's a big, bearded—whoops, dropped my napkin."

Hermione bent down to retrieve it. "Harry, I can't quite reach it," she said from under the table. I bent down to help her. I gave her a weird look when I saw her napkin still in her lap. She held her finger up to her lips. Then she whispered, "There's a plate in the living room. Take it up to Draco."

"Thank you, Harry," she said, sitting up.

"I already know the story of Santa. I have to… I'll be right back," I said, excusing myself from the table.

"So, as I was saying, there's a big, bearded man who delivers toys to children on Christmas…"

I ducked into the living room to grab Draco's plate before I headed upstairs. I smiled to myself as Hermione's impatient "Ron, I'm getting there" drifted up after me. I expected the bedroom door to be closed, and it was. I remembered the door slamming from that morning and paused, wondering if I should knock. My heart sank a little as I finally knocked.

"Come in, Hermione," Draco called out just loud enough to be heard through the door.

"It's just me," I said, opening the door.

"Why did you knock?" he asked. I closed the door behind me and set the plate on the dresser before answering.

"I was thinking about this morning. I don't know what to say."

"I don't think there's anything that needs to be said."

"I yelled at you. You slammed doors. I don't think we should just ignore that."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I understand why you…um…that."

"Draco, I—"

"You don't have to say anything. It's fine. What'd you bring for dinner?"

"Turkey, potatoes, something that's supposed to be vegetables of some kind, and rolls."

"Sounds good. Thanks for bringing it. I know you have to go back down."

"I can stay for a few minutes."

"No, you should go."

"Fine. I guess I'll see you later."

"Definitely."

"Definitely what?"

"I want you later."

TBC.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I went downstairs feeling marginally better. It seemed that Ron was still rather engaged in the idea of Muggle elves. He was asking an exasperated Hermione what I determined to be yet another question when I reentered the room.

"So what you're saying is that Muggle elves are like house elves except they only make toys instead of doing useful things like laundry and cooking and they look like short people with bells on their shoes instead of looking like elves?"

"Yes," Hermione and every Weasley sibling shouted.

"Thank you for the lovely story. You told it well," Kingsley told Hermione.

"Thank you," Hermione said, blushing a little.

"And, Molly, this was a wonderful meal. I think it's about time for us to leave you to your family celebration."

"Thank you, Kingsley. We've all enjoyed having everyone here."

Everyone rose from the table. Good-byes were said all around and soon only Lupin, Hermione, and the Weasleys remained. The twins cleared the dishes from the table while Charlie and Bill put the wrapped packages on the table.

To no one's surprise, we all got sweaters from Mrs. Weasley. The twins played their who-is-whom game with the sweaters until Mrs. Weasley slapped them both on the back of the head. Fred and George gave assorted Wheezes products to everyone. Ron, of course, got the bizarre prank products. They gave Hermione a quill with inks in different colors and scents. I had a sneaking suspicion that she might write chocolate scented love notes to Ron. _He'd probably lick them_. The twins mouthed "later" to me when I didn't have a present from them. To be frank, it scared me. _The new line of Restricted Section Wheezes products was probably going to be stacking up in the bedroom. _

Ron pretended to like his present from Hermione when it turned out to be a book. He didn't really do a good job. Hermione told him to open it. He flipped open the cover and found out that the book was in fact a box full of assorted chocolate products. He grinned and threw his arms around her and kissed her.

Charlie wolf-whistled. One of the twins, George according to the sweater in front of him, made kissing noises. Hermione's face turned Weasley-red. Ron jumped a foot away from her and sputtered when Fred congratulated him on "finally growing a set."

"Fred, must you say things like that?" Mrs. Weasley scolded.

"Yes, Mum, I must."

"Despite Fred's poor taste, I glad to see you two finally together. Ron's been pining after you for years."

"Yes," George added. "Our little brother's been harboring some less than honorable thoughts about you."

"George, must you say things like that?" Mrs. Weasley said, clearly irritated.

"Yes, Mum, I must."

Hermione was blushing and trying not to look pleased. Ron was embarrassed from his neck to his hairline. He kept looking at the ground. _Serves him right. _More presents were passed around. Hermione got a book on the Muggle physics of flying and a Beginner's Guide to Quidditch. She rolled her eyes at Ron.

"What?" he said. "I thought if you got all Muggle-y about flying that you'd play with me."

Fred and George whistled. Bill and Charlie smacked the back of their heads. It took two smacks before they were quiet.

"Not in a million years, Ron," Hermione told him, laughing.

"Ouch," George said to Ron. We all laughed. All of us except Ron.

Mr. Weasley opened his next. He had a rubber duck from me, a hula hoop from Ron, and a book of Muggle children's rhymes from Hermione. Lupin gave the twins a list of joke ideas that were written by the Marauders. Mrs. Weasley was less than pleased, but she said nothing. Charlie got new gloves and boots for when he went back to Romania. Mrs. Weasley loved her matching scarf and gloves set. Bill received a beautiful chess set. Ron immediately challenged him. Someone had found one of Sirius' old journals. It was neatly wrapped and given to Lupin.

"Why me?" he asked when he opened it.

"It's from your Hogwarts years, and I know he'd want you to have it," said Mrs. Weasley. Lupin ran his fingers over the cover and said nothing. Everyone was quiet for a moment, even Fred and George.

"I suppose now is an appropriate time for my gift to Harry," Lupin said. The way he said it made me pause. I carefully undid the paper. Inside was a photo album.

The first few pages were from the Marauders' years at Hogwarts. Then came pictures of my parents' wedding. The last few pages had baby pictures of me. I blinked to hold back tears, but a few slid down my cheeks anyway. Someone handed me a handkerchief. I dabbed at my eyes. I looked up at Lupin. I felt like I was going to have an emotional explosion. Everyone was already watching me cry, but I didn't really feel like having an audience if I went to pieces. I picked up the album, left the room, and went into the living room. I opened the album to the last photograph and set it on the table.

My heart was pounding, and my stomach churned. I didn't bother trying to stop the tears anymore. I was sitting there hugging myself when Mrs. Weasley came in. She sat down beside me and put an arm around my shoulders.

"Would my mum have been like you?" I whispered.

"Lily was a wonderful woman. I helped her decorate your nursery. She insisted we do it the Muggle way; she said it would mean more. I don't really understand why. You know you'll always be part of our family, don't you, Harry?"

"What if I'm not?"

"Family is forever."

"Not for my mum. The Dursleys talk about her like she's trash."

"The Dursleys are not nice people. They are small-minded and intolerant. They aren't your family. They're people afraid of Dumbledore. _We _are your family. You are one of us."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what."

"Even if…"

"Even if what, Harry?"

"Nevermind."

"Even if nevermind. You are stuck with us. Do you want to come back or do you want to stay here awhile?"

"Here."

"Would you like me to stay?"

"I'd like to be alone. Please."

Mrs. Weasley gave me a pat on the back before she left. I looked at the last picture in the album and thought about how fucked up life is.

_I had loving parents who wanted me. I was safe and happy. And it's gone. All of it is gone. Draco has bat-shit crazy parents who kill people and abuse children. Why does he have parents and I don't? Why are good parents gone and psycho ones still here? Why is it all so unfair? Why am I bothering to think about this? Nothing ever changes. Well, death can't change. I have a family with the Weasleys. _

I said my good nights to my family. _My family_. No one questioned why I didn't want to rejoin the festivities. I went upstairs to Draco.

_Draco. Who does Draco have for family now? _

_Me._

TBC. I've been on vacation in the middle of the ocean. Forgive me? I'll try to update again soon.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: This chapter explains the great mystery of Harry's back. It's more detailed than the vague things from the Moaning Myrtle's lavatory conversation in Chapter 1, but it's not sexual or too graphic. I understand that some people can be sensitive to this kind of thing, so it is the only thing in this chapter. If you feel the need to skip it, that's fine. I apologize for the chapter 'spoiler' so to speak, but I would really hate to upset anyone. From Chapter 29 on, there will only be emotional scenes (albeit potentially intense ones), no more recountings.

I entered our room and stood beside the bed. My hands shook violently as I undressed. I had left the lights on. Draco got up from the bed, wearing only a pair of green boxers, and grabbed my hands before I could finish the last three buttons of my shirt.

"I'm not asking you to do this. I'm sorry about this morning. You don't have to do this. It's okay. We're okay."

"I know," I told him, and he released my hands. I finished with my shirt and started on my trousers. Draco's eyes stayed trained on my face. I was crying, but I kept going anyway. I toed off my sneakers and finished undressing. Naked, I stood in front of Draco with tears still streaming down my face.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I want to."

"You don't look like you want to."

"Because it's hard. It doesn't matter how long I put it off, it'll still be hard. It'll be uncomfortable. It'll be awkward. I'll be embarrassed and scared. That's never going to change. That's never going to change, Draco. No, don't say anything. I'm not done. At Hogwarts I showered in the middle of the night for weeks so one would see. Weeks. When I couldn't keep that up anymore, I lied. I don't know if they believed me. I didn't care as long as no one asked me. I have never actually _showed_ someone. You're the first. You're a lot of firsts for me. It scares me, but I want this. You want to know why I'm doing this? I don't want to hide from you anymore. I don't want to see you hurt when I push you away. I've _finally_ found the courage to do this. I don't care what it takes. I want you. I need you. You mean everything to me. I love you."

Draco stood looking shocked. _I didn't mean to say that last part out loud_. Then he smiled. "I love you, too."

He leaned in and pressed his lips to mine and twined fingers in my hair. We stood like that, clinging to each other and kissing. When we broke for air he said, "Turn around."

I held my breath as I did just that. _This is it. Moment of truth. _I knew what he was seeing. Parallel, horizontal scars went across my lower back, over my bottom, and along the backs of my thighs. Spiky round scars were scattered along the lines. _What does he think of me now?_

"Harry?" he questioned quietly, turning me back to face him.

I stared at my feet while I explained. "It happened summer before fourth year. Dudley and his gang dragged me out of the house when Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were gone. They stripped me down and…tied me naked to a barbed wire fence. They took turns threatening me with a knife, sometimes holding it blade against me, sometimes poking me with the point, trying to figure out…where…they could put it to make me scream the loudest…It…scared…They put…hurt…I couldn't…"

By that point I had collapsed on the floor in sobs. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't look at anything. I had never said any of that aloud before. _Why did I do this? How could I tell someone, Draco or not? _The pain of the memories tried to choke me. I felt alone and like nothing would ever be okay again. Draco draped a sheet over my shoulders. I held it tightly around me. He reached a hand to my face, and I flinched away from him when his fingers touched my cheek. All I could think about was sharp, cold steel dragging against my skin. Tracing the underside of my jaw. Poking the fleshy part of my stomach. Trailing too close to…

"NO!" I hollered. I gasped, trying to breathe easy and fighting the urge to throw up. I gripped the bed sheet so hard my fingers hurt. Draco settled cross-legged in front of me and said nothing. We sat like that for several minutes until I calmed down. Every time I thought I was okay, I'd open my eyes, realize Draco was watching me, and burst into tears all over again. My eyes were burning, but I couldn't help myself. I started muttering something that I hoped was incoherent because I had no idea what was coming out of my mouth. I shook and chewed on my bottom lip. Eventually, I hesitantly looked up at him and asked the question I feared most.

"Do you…still want me?"

"Of course I still want you. Nothing's going to change that. I love you." He kissed me softly. He opened his mouth to me and put his arms around my neck. I knew then that everything would be okay. "Now, lie on the bed on your stomach and let me show you how much I love you."

Even though he'd seen, even though he knew, I still didn't want him to see again. Knees shaking, I crawled onto the bed. I turned my head so I could breathe and waited for Draco. He nudged my legs apart with his knees and leaned over to press his lips to my back. He kissed the length of each scar before scooting lower. My breath hitched when he kissed the lines across my bare arse. He kissed the back of my right thigh next. Then he started on my left, working outside in. He pressed his lips to the barb scar on the inside of my thigh. It tickled a little, and I shivered. He kissed his way back up, lips caressing each vertebra on the way. He settled next to me, lips just inches from mine.

TBC. Next chapter picks up right here.


	29. Chapter 29

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

"Thank you. For telling me. For trusting me," Draco whispered.

"I love you," I said, voice cracking.

"Oh, Harry, I love you, too."

"Draco, what…what happens now?"

"I get naked. We climb under the blankets where it's warm. And then you have your way with me."

I picked the sheet up off the floor and remade the bed while Draco stripped his boxers off and piled the dirty clothes in one spot instead of all over the floor.

"Do you think remaking the bed was really necessary?" he smirked.

"It needs blankets if we're going to climb under them," I smirked back, doing just that.

"We won't be under them long. As soon as we're warm, I'm taking them off."

"Why?"

"This is the first time we're doing this since I've seen you totally naked. I want to watch every inch of you. I want to see every expression, every shiver."

"Draco…" I said, shifting uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

"I don't want to stare at your back, Harry. I want to watch the muscles in your stomach move when I touch you. I want to look into your eyes and know that you're thinking about me instead of what I might see. I want to watch you love me."

I pulled him down to me. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too," he whispered against my lips.

I tangled my fingers into his hair and pressed my lips fully to his. He stayed passive, reacting but never taking it forward. _I guess I am having my way with him._ I teased my tongue at his lips until he got frustrated and licked back at me. I thrust my tongue into his mouth and got a groan of appreciation.

It felt good to not worry and think only of his body against mine. He was warm. I slid a hand down his back to rest on the curve of his arse. Every time he moved, the friction of my cock against his belly made me gasp a little. Soon we were absolutely writhing against each other, seeking more.

I hooked a leg around his calves and rolled us over. I flailed ridiculously trying to get the lube from the bedside table. When I finally grabbed it, I uncapped it with one hand. I slicked my fingers clumsily while I shoved the blankets away. I circled a finger around his entrance while kissing his neck.

"You're beautiful, Draco," I whispered in his ear.

I took a deep breath and listened to him sigh when I pushed that finger in. It wasn't long before he was ready for a second. He made a little whimpering noise when he wanted a third. His slick fingers around my cock surprised me, and I thrust into his hand. His hand slid smoothly along my length.

"I want you," he gasped.

"Yes."

I pulled my fingers away and spread his knees a little more. I kissed him, moving into position.

"Don't close your eyes," Draco said, leaning his head back so he could look at me.

I stared into his eyes as I pushed into him. The look on his face was almost angelic. He looked like we belonged together. I could have looked at him forever. Something about watching him while we were coupled together made my heart skip a beat. I moved slowly, watching every expression and listening to every gasp and moan.

"I love you," I murmured.

He brushed hair away from my face. A hand on the back of my neck moved me closer until our lips met. I ran a hand along his thigh. He made a strangled sound as he wrapped his legs around my waist at the same time I thrust forward again. Our kisses got clumsier as I kept moving until we finally gave up and just panted at each other. Draco _mmmm_edeach time I pushed in, and I gasped his name each time his muscles tightened around me. His hands groped all over my back. We weren't slow and purposeful any more, but it didn't matter. We were together. His fingers tightened and he moaned out 'Yes.'

"Harry," Draco moaned. "Please."

"Any…thing…for…you…" I gasped. I bit my lip and tried to keep hitting that spot. His fingers dug into my shoulders, and his moans got louder. I crashed my lips into his to quiet him. He eagerly sucked on my tongue. His cock was hard and leaking, trapped between us. The tip smeared wetness around as we rocked together. We reached a frantic pace. Draco's entire body tightened around me as he spurted come between our bodies. His heels dug into my back, and his muscles clamped down on my cock. I moaned into his mouth as I came, too.

Panting, I collapsed on him before messily sliding to the side so he could breathe. I kissed his shoulder and his collarbone and anything else my lips could reach without having to move my head. He ran his fingers through my hair.

"This is all I've ever wanted, Harry," Draco said softly.

"What?"

"To be loved."

TBC. Sorry this took so long. I wanted to make sure this chapter went up at the same time as Chapter 28.


	30. Chapter 30

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: really intense chapter

"Potter is pathetic" echoed in my head as I woke up from my nightmare. My whole body was sticky with cold sweat. I shook as I realized how vulnerable I was, lying naked in the dark. I slipped quietly out of bed, threw on my pajamas, and tiptoed to the bathroom. I paced back and forth restlessly, and then not knowing what else to do, I just climbed into the shower.

_I shouldn't have told him. It doesn't matter what he said. He knows. He knows how weak and pathetic I am. I'm a fucking Wizard, damnit. And I did nothing. Why does he still want me anyway? Wants me for what? I'm damaged. _

I sat in the basin of the tub, letting water stream over me. I held my knees to my chest and cried. Water drops kept getting in my nose when I sniffled, but I didn't care.

_I'm damaged. Damaged. Damaged. Damaged. Broken. Useless. I let bad things happen. How can he want me? He shouldn't want me. I don't deserve it. _

A hand closed on my shoulder and I shrieked. I tried to scoot back, but in the slippery tub all I did was fall over. I looked up at Draco's concerned face. _He does love me. _It hit me so hard it hurt. I wanted to say something to him. Anything. But I just couldn't think of anything. I curled into a little ball instead.

"Harry?" he asked softly.

When I said nothing, he climbed into the bathtub without taking his boxers off. He sat down and gently put my head on his lap. He stroked my messy, wet hair. I put a hand on his knee, and he put his other hand on top of mine. Water was flooding my ear, but I could hear him anyway.

"Harry, what happened? What's wrong?"

"You meant it when you said you love me," I cried.

"Of course I meant it. Why is that bad?"

"It hurts."

"Why? Why does it hurt?"

"Because I don't deserve it."

"That's ridiculous. You deserve the world."

"No."

Draco strained to reach until he could turn the water off. When the warm water stopped flowing I started to shiver in my soaked pajamas. He kissed the top of my head and gently manhandled me into a sitting position.

"Draco, please," I whispered, not even knowing what I wanted.

He stood up and helped me out of the tub. I stood there, dripping wet. Draco wrapped his arms around me, and I cried into his shoulder.

"Take your pajamas off. Let's get you dry," he said when my crying turned to sniffles. He bent to get clean towels from under the sink. I stood, unmoving and unable to do even the simplest thing for myself. Draco undid the buttons on my pajama shirt, repeating "It's okay, Harry" with each button. I shrugged to help, but Draco had to help the wet shirt fall to the floor. Draco dragged my pajama bottoms to the floor and helped me step out. He toweled me off like an infant. He wrapped the towel around me before stripping down and wrapping himself in a towel. He led me back to our room and dressed us both in dry boxers before settling me on the bed.

"Talk to me, Harry," he said, sitting beside me. "What happened?"

"I told you about what they did. I'm just weak and pathetic. I'm a Wizard, and I didn't do anything. I didn't do anything. I don't understand how you can still want me. But you do. And it hurts so much knowing that I don't deserve you because it's all my fault. I'm supposed to defeat the most powerful Wizard on the planet, but I can't even take care of Muggles with a combined IQ less than dirt. _I _didn't stop it. _I _failed. _Me_."

"Harry, none of what your cousin did was your fault. Look at me. Harry. Look at me."

I looked up to meet his eyes. More tears spilled out of mine. He put a hand on my cheek. I buried my face against his chest, and he stroked my hair. I took a deep breath and pushed him away. I scooted across the bed and answered his questioning look with a shake of my head.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Harry, I lo-"

"No," I interrupted. "Don't say it. I don't want to want you to love me."

"What?" He stared at me incredulously.

"You shouldn't love me. I don't want you to love me. But I want it so bad it hurts."

"I do love you, and you don't get to change that," he said, crawling over to me and taking my face in his hands. "What's it going to take for you to accept that?"

"It hurts, Draco. I feel like my heart's going to explode. It all just hurts so much," I cried. I had to look away again. I didn't want to face him. "My fault. It's my fault."

"Do you remember what you said to me in Moaning Myrtle's lavatory when I was waiting for you to laugh at me and tell me how worthless I am?"

"You're not pathetic and don't deserve it," I whispered. "But this is different."

"You didn't say anything like this before. When we talked about the other times. Why now? Why is this different?"

"It's not like the other times. It's not like when Uncle Vernon got angry and just hauled off and hit me. It was plotted and methodical and it took time. Time I could have used to stop it. To get away. And I didn't."

"Just because there was time doesn't mean you could have changed things."

"Draco, I've never…"

"Never what, Harry?"

"I've dealt with everything else. I can handle everything else. But not this. I've been not thinking about this. It hurts too much. I've never told anyone because I didn't want it to be real. And now that you know, I feel like it's worse than before. I don't want to deal with this. I don't want to feel hurt and ashamed anymore."

"Just sit here and cry until you can't anymore. Let it out."

"I can't. I'll break."

"Then I'll fix it. Come here," he said, gently pulling me into his arms.

I curled against him and cried and cried and cried. He said nothing; he just sat there, holding me and rubbing circles on my back. I kept seeing what happened playing over and over in my mind like every time I made myself not think about it was catching up to me. Somewhere along the way I started imagining that Draco had been there watching. I just couldn't bear the burning feeling of the shame of him thinking of me like that. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away.

"Harry, please," Draco said, holding out his hand. I shook my head.

"It hurts, Draco," I choked out. I wrapped my arms around myself, protecting myself.

"I know. I know it does. But this doesn't change anything between us. I don't think of you any differently. Think about what you said to me. Say it to yourself. It's not your fault. You're not pathetic. You don't deserve this. Can I have your hand, please?"

"Why?"

"I want to hold you, make you feel better. But I'm not going to touch you until you give me your hand."

"Draco," I said with my heart in my throat, "is it really okay?"

"Look at me."

I cautiously raised my gaze to his face. When my eyes met his I looked away. I knew it was silly, but I was scared of what I might see. I swallowed hard and looked up again. Draco was looking at me like I was the most precious thing in the world.

"You can touch me," I whispered to him. He held out his hand again. I put my hand in his and twined our fingers together. I bit my bottom lip and looked away again. I thought about what he'd said, what I said to him. _None of what happened to him was his fault. Is it _not _my fault_? The thought squirmed around like snakes in my stomach. Is _this any different_? _He doesn't look at me differently. Nothing was his fault. It's not my fault. But I still hurt so much._

"It's not my fault. But I still hurt so much."

"I know, Harry," Draco told me. I looked up at him again, waiting for him to fix it. "You'll feel better when you're done crying. Letting it out helps. And I know it seems hard, but telling someone takes weight off your shoulders. Knowing that someone cares and understands helps. Maybe it doesn't feel like it right now."

"It doesn't, Draco. I don't know how I was okay last night. I'm not okay now."

"At least you can look at me," Draco said quietly, pulling his hand away and putting it in his lap. This time he looked away from me.

"Are—are you mad at me now?"

"No, I'm not mad. I'm just...ashamed of myself."

He got up off the bed. I expected him to turn away, but he just stared down at his feet instead.

"I don't understand."

"After I talked to you that first night, I couldn't even look at you. I was so embarrassed and ashamed that I couldn't face you at all. Like now. I understand why you're not okay now. I feel it, too. I feel naked."

"And vulnerable," I added, standing in front of him.

"And weak," he whispered, holding his hands out. I took them.

"And scared," I said back.

"Scared to face you," he whispered, still looking down. I rested my right hand on his cheek.

"Scared of what you'll see."

"Scared of what you'll see," he agreed. He paused and then hesitantly looked up.

Our eyes met, and my heart skipped a beat. Neither of us moved away. I ran my thumb across his bottom lip. He moved a little closer to me. I leaned a bit closer to him. We were barely an inch apart. I closed my eyes. I could feel his warm breath on my face. Our lips pressed together. It was brief and hesitant, like a first kiss. I slid my hand from his cheek to the back of his head. His blond hair was still wet. We kissed again. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me close. He was warm, and I gladly pressed against him. The open-mouthed kisses continued as we wrapped ourselves tighter around each other.

When we were both breathless, we stopped kissing and just stood there, pressed cheek to cheek. I don't know which of us was leaking tears. We were shivering together, both cold and emotional. Wordlessly we moved as one back to bed. We curled up together. One of his legs slipped between mine. I wrapped my arms around him. Our chests rose and fell in sync as we drifted to sleep.

TBC. Work is picking up. Next chapter might take a little longer.

To Hon who reviewed Chapter 29: I really appreciate your feedback. I've been aiming for realism of a sort, and I'm pleased to know that this might make a difference to someone. It means a lot to hear that.


	31. Chapter 31

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I woke up alone. I stayed in bed, feeling confused. It wasn't waking up without Draco that got to me. I knew things were okay with us; I didn't doubt that. Aside from being sure of that, I didn't know how I felt. I wasn't sorry that I'd told Draco. I felt strange. The twins knew about Draco-ish. I was part of a family. It was odd. I had pictures of my parents. And Draco… Draco knew everything. I didn't feel like me anymore.

_Fuck it. I'm staying in bed today._

The door opened and closed as Draco came back. I didn't move. I knew that I should be happy and relieved, but I just wasn't. The crazy emotional roller coaster had left me simply drained. Draco nudged my foot.

"Shower, Harry."

"Don't want to."

"I think everyone would appreciate it if you shower before going downstairs."

"Not going."

"Of course you're going."

"No, I'm not."

"Why not?"

"Don't feel like it."

"You can't just hide out up here."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm hungry."

"I'm not. Go eat without me."

"I don't know if people are here. I can't go downstairs."

"Fuck."

"Harry, what's wrong?"

"I don't know, Draco. I'm just really tired. Yesterday took a lot out of me, I guess. I don't really want to talk to anyone."

"Last night was just between us."

"I know. I guess I'll go get breakfast," I said. I stood up and started pulling on clothes. I still didn't want to go, but I didn't want to tell Draco about everything else. I didn't want him to worry about Fred and George knowing someone was there, even if they didn't know who. I didn't want to remind him of his shitty parents by talking about my photo album. And I didn't want to tell him that I wanted the two of us to be a family. I couldn't go through another big emotional confession. So I went downstairs like nothing else was bothering me.

Several Order members were having a hushed conversation in the kitchen. They stopped talking as soon as I walked in. I wondered why they didn't just go into a different room and close the door. I hurriedly loaded a plate with enough food for two, poured an extra large glass of pumpkin juice, and hauled it out of there. _At least I get to go back upstairs_. Draco raised an eyebrow at the huge plate.

"I thought you weren't hungry."

"I changed my mind."

We ate quietly for awhile, passing the glass of juice between us. I almost asked Draco what he was thinking about, but I didn't want to answer the question in return.

"Lupin let you come back up here awfully fast," Draco commented.

"The kitchen chatter quit as soon as I walked in. Some of the Order members are having a private conversation in a common room. Lucky for me."

"Lucky for us."

"Why us? You're stuck up here."

"Stuck with you. And you have jam."

"Of course I have jam. I like jam on my toast."

"I meant you have jam on your face."

"Where?"

"Here," Draco said with a smirk, licking the corner of my mouth.

"Still think I need a shower?" I asked with a smile.

"Yeah, I do."

"There are some places on my back that are hard to reach."

"Is that an invitation?"

"Absolutely."

We went into the bathroom together. I set my glasses on the counter while Draco turned the shower on. I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing while we undressed. When I realized that Draco was going to see me naked again, I swallowed hard. _This is ridiculous. He's seen. He knows. Things won't go back to the way they were before. He can't un-know. From now on, being naked doesn't matter._ I put on a brave face and stepped into the tub.

Draco joined me, and we kissed under the warm spray. He stepped back to grab the soap. I looked at him, really _looked_ at him. I looked at the scars that marred his pale torso. After a minute, I noticed him watching me.

"I don't really see them," I said quietly.

"My scars?"

"Yeah. I just see…you."

"Do you get it now? I never see your scars. Not even this one," Draco said, pushing my hair aside to reveal the lightening scar. I smiled at him.

"Wash my back?"

"Really?" Draco asked, looking both surprised and pleased.

"Yes," I said without hesitation.

I turned around. Draco's soapy hands lathered up my back and gently kneaded my muscles. My head lolled to the side while I enjoyed it.

"Mmmm, feels good."

"I know something better."

I could hear the smirk in his voice. His hands moved around to my chest. His sudsy fingers pinched at my nipples. My cock hardened as he pressed himself against me. I slid around in his arms. I kissed him. There was something deeply romantic about slip-sliding against each other while kissing. His arms were around my waist, so I put mine around his neck. I reached over to the soap dish to soap up my hand. I ran now-slippery fingers in the crease of his arse.

"No," Draco groaned.

"Why?"

"Soap isn't good for sex."

"Is it good for shamelessly rubbing against each other?" I asked, grinding my erection against his.

"Oh, fuck yes."

The water spraying between us was quickly leaving us soap-free. When the suds were gone, I dropped to my knees in front of Draco. I put my left hand around the base of his cock and took it into my mouth with more confidence than before. I could still taste a little bit of the soap, but I tried to ignore it. I breathed through my nose as I slid my tongue around the head of his cock. It amazed me that he smelled so much like sex when he'd so recently been covered in soap. Draco tangled his fingers in my hair. The sound of his groans and his tugging on my hair was making me positively squirm with arousal. I slid my free hand down to grasp my own erection.

"Oh, Merlin, you look good," Draco gasped breathily.

I took more of him in my mouth. It was hard to focus on pleasing him while wanking. I was stroking myself to the rhythm of his moans and groans. I was lost in it. I felt surrounded. I was blanketed by warm steam that just smelled of Draco. I could taste him in my mouth and hear his breath echoing off the tile walls. _Having sex in the shower is going on my to-do list._ Draco's legs were trembling, and I thought he was about to pull out a chunk of my hair. I knew he was close. I felt my own orgasm building.

I was surprised when he pulled away from me. Moments later the feel of his come coating my cock and hand as I wanked off to the taste of him pushed me over the edge with a strangled moan. I didn't know how he was still standing; I was on my knees and practically falling over.

Draco helped me up. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead when I put my head on his shoulder.

"I love this part," he said.

"Which part?"

"The part when I get to hold you."

"I don't suppose we can just stay like this all day?"

"I don't think Hermione and Lupin would appreciate that."

Reluctantly, I turned off the water. We toweled off and dressed before going back to our room. Draco stared pointedly at me until I picked up the dirty clothes from where I had tossed them on the floor and put them in the hamper. We were sitting down to a game of chess when there was a frantic pounding on the door.

"It's just me," Ron hollered, continuing to pound.

"For fuck's sake, Weasley, stop abusing the door and come in."

"Harry, I'm really sorry about having a big mouth and blabbing and acting like such a prick and I really wasn't thinking and even though I still don't like the ferr-Malfoy I don't want anything to happen to him and anyway the point is that I'm sorry but that's not why I came up here because I heard Fred and George talking at the Burrow and they were talking about you and saying something about bringing your presents especially if no one knew they were coming so that no one could keep them from coming up here and giving them to you personally and so they can see who's here and oh my gods he looks like he's going to kill me."

Ron ran out the door without ever taking a breath. I stood, staring wide eyed at the door as it slammed behind him.

TBC.


	32. Chapter 32

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

"What did he mean come up and see who's here?" Draco demanded, standing in front of the door with his arms crossed.

"Yesterday Ron let slip to the twins that someone is hiding out up here."

"Fuck. That's just…fuck. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry. The twins would never say anything about you. They don't even know your name. I didn't want you to have to deal with this, too."

"What do we do now?"

"We pretend we don't care that they know and we try not to be embarrassed when they give us my Christmas presents."

"Why would we be embarrassed by their presents?"

"They want us to test a new line of adult-oriented Wheezes products."

"You mean like…" Draco blushed as he trailed off.

"Sex stuff, yes," I said softly after moving closer, blushing as well.

"Do they know I'm…"

"Know you're what?"

"Male."

"Yes. And they don't care."

"Do you care?"

"Care about you? Of course."

"I meant do you care they know you're gay? I know you're kind of touchy about it."

"I'm not ashamed of you," I protested.

"I didn't mean it that way. But I wouldn't blame you if you are. It's not like I'm anywhere close to the same league as you. No one's going to think I'm good enough for the Boy Who Lived."

"_I _think you're amazing. And anyone who thinks different can just go eat Canary Creams."

"I love you," Draco told me, pressing his lips to mine.

"I love what you do to me."

"Show me."

I gently pushed him against the door. He _mmm_ed as I kissed his neck. I slid my leg between his, and he rubbed himself against me.

"This is what you do to me. You make me want you."

I looked down at our feet so I could shuffle closer without stepping on his toes. I frowned at what I saw. I looked back up at Draco, and he frowned at my expression. He opened his mouth to say something, but I put a finger to his lips to quiet him. He nodded. I silently knelt down.

"PERVERTS," I yelled into the Extendable Ear that had crept under the door. I heard Fred and George laughing in the hall. Draco looked paler than usual. I slipped out the door into the hall, leaving him in the room.

"I knew we picked the testers for our new products," one of the twins said. "Now, if you'd be so kind, scoot your bum away from the door so we can go check out your boyfriend."

"Go easy on him, please."

"George, do we know how to do that?"

"I suppose we could try. But that really wouldn't be any fun."

"Guys, please. He's skittish. There's a reason no one's supposed to know he's here. Don't scare him, please, don't scare him."

"Then we might have to harass you twice as much," Fred told me.

"If that's what it takes, fine."

"Okay, then. Step aside."

I moved. When we all walked in, I was surprised to see Draco calmly lying with a book.

"Do you always read after Harry pins you against a wall and gropes you?" Fred asked.

"Of course not. When perverted Weasleys aren't spying on us, I grope him back."

"Draco," I hissed, turning red as the twins' hair in embarrassment.

"What? Like pretending otherwise was going to get them to abandon this train of thought? You're the one who said we shouldn't be embarrassed."

"We like him, Harry. He'll have fun with your presents."

"Fuck," I muttered under my breath.

"Exactly," the twins exclaimed gleefully. Fred shuffled me onto the bed next to Draco while George opened an ominously large box.

"You see, Draco…may we call you Draco?" George started, sounding very much like a used-car salesman. "We're going to need your up-frontery to get Harry here to give us status reports on Restricted Section products. And when he tries to anonymously order more of his favorites, you can just owl us and we'll send them to him at the usual discount."

"The usual discount?"

"Free. Our dear benefactor here pays nothing for Weasley Wizard Wheezes products."

"What do you mean 'benefactor'?"

"Harry is our financier."

"Financier?

"It means he funded Wheezes."

"I know what it means," Draco said shortly. "Why? Where did he get that kind of money?"

"It was my Tri-Wizard winnings," I explained quietly. "I didn't want it. Not after Cedric." The room was eerily quiet for a moment. No one really knew what to say.

"Well, enough of that depressing stuff," Fred said cheerfully. "And back to the sex."

"Yes, sex," George agreed. "No more Tri-Wizards. Unless you're very lucky."

I rolled my eyes and tried not to imagine what it would be like if Draco and I had a threesome. I suddenly wasn't sure if I was more scared of what they were going to pull out of that box or of the things they might make me think about.

"Starting with the tamer items," George said, gesturing as Fred pulled several bottles from the box. "We have an assortment of lubricants. Flavored: classic chocolate; fantasy fruit, which changes from strawberry to cherry to grenadine; Butterbeer; and for the adventurous, Wheezes Every Flavor Lube. There is also warming, tingling, and silencing, for those mouthy partners."

"Please tell me that's it," I said without the slightest bit of faith that they were indeed done.

"Of course not," Fred replied, hand already pulling more products from the box. "We have no-burn hot Wizards' Wax, fun to play with but no painful after-effects. A range of bondage products releasable by safe-word instead of key or untying including handcuffs, blindfolds, cock rings, and several different lengths of ropes." The pile on the bed was growing at an alarming rate as George took over the sales pitch.

"There are dildos that change size and move on verbal command," he said with a smirk. "And then there are the standard Wheezes gags: lollipops that take the shape of a penis when licked; house color ties that compliment the sexual prowess of the wearer when adjusted or put on in front of people."

"And our piece de resistance: The Wheezes Guide to You-Know-What. Our illustrated sex manual, including a section on the creative uses of ordinary objects, and it comes complete with catalog and order forms for the entire Restricted Section line."

"Holy shit," I exclaimed, "that is _a lot_ of stuff."

"Yes, we have been quite busy."

"And when we leave, the two of you will be quite busy trying it all out."

"I really don't think so," I protested, as I put everything back in the box and tried not to look like I found any of it remotely interesting.

"We think so. And we expect a full report."

"Ummm…thank you?" Draco said. He rose to show them to the door. _If Fred and George don't want to leave, showing them to the door won't get you anywhere, Draco._

"Eloquently stated," George said. The twins made like they were going to leave. Before Draco had managed to usher them out, Fred had more thing to say.

"You know you're one of us now, Draco," Fred started, draping his arm over Draco's shoulder. Draco flinched and tensed as Fred gave him a sideways hug. "You will be teased mercilessly, but we will keep your secrets."

George came up on the other side of him. They smushed Draco between them and gave him two sloppy kisses on the cheek. I could see the panic flash on his face, but before I could say anything, the twins had walked out the door with a few crude comments tossed over their shoulders. Draco closed the door and leaned back against it. Instead of the sexy expression he had earlier, he looked worn. I walked over to him.

"Draco…"

"I just need a minute. Okay?"

"Sure."

I took our breakfast dishes down to the kitchen to give Draco a moment alone. The Order members were gone, but Hermione was seated at the table in front of a stack of books.

"Hi, Harry," Hermione said. She seemed hesitant to add to that.

"Spit it out, Hermione. I can tell there's something else you want to say."

"Ron told me that the twins were here. Is Draco okay? I would have tried to stop it if I'd known."

"I know you would have. And Draco is…handling it. He wanted a minute alone."

"You might need to go run interference. Ron was in my room waiting for the twins to leave so he could talk to the two of you."

I headed out. When I got to the doorway I turned back. "Did Ron get less arsehole-ish on his own or did you have something to do with it?"

"He did it. It took him a while, but he did it."

"Okay. And I really am sorry we messed up your Christmas plans with Ron."

"Apology accep— do you hear that?"

I did, and it didn't sound good. Hermione and I raced for the stairs.

TBC.


	33. Chapter 33

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: sorry for the cliffhanger in the last one

When we got to the top of the stairs, Draco was hollering something at Ron who was backing away from him. Draco didn't stop yelling until Hermione and I were actually between him and Ron.

"Why are you attacking him?" I asked quietly.

"He deserves it."

"What did he do?"

"He just fucking barged in," Draco exclaimed like it was obvious, though there was no possible way I could have known.

"Walk away," I said, attempting to steer him away. Draco crossed his arms like a petulant child.

"I did not," Ron argued back.

"Perhaps you need a dictionary. Barging in is what happens when someone enters someone else's space without being invited."

"I knocked."

"And I didn't invite you in."

"I thought I heard you."

"If you cut that stupid ginger hair, maybe you could hear better."

"I can't believe I was going to…" Ron shook his head and trailed off.

"Going to what— finish a sentence?" Draco snapped.

"Come on, Draco. Let's go." I walked him to our bedroom despite his attempt to shake my hand off his arm.

"Downstairs, Ron," Hermione was saying. She followed him down.

Inside our room, I sat down on the bed and waited for Draco. He closed the door quietly. I jumped when he slammed a fist against it.

"This is about more than him coming in here. Were you changing? Did he see something?"

"No," Draco said shortly.

"You don't need to snap at me. I didn't do anything."

"You come up and get all holier-than-thou and you didn't do anything? I didn't need you to step in. I was doing just fine. Just because you won't have a go at him doesn't mean I shouldn't. He runs his damn mouth and jeopardizes everything and invades my privacy and you don't CARE. You'd rather just be friends. Fine. You do that. I'll deal with him."

"That's a load of shit and you know it," I accused. "Yes, he has a big mouth, but he didn't jeopardize anything. I do care. I love you. That doesn't mean I understand. He was rude; I get that. But you didn't have to attack him."

"How the fuck would you know? You. Weren't. Here."

"Because you asked me to leave."

Draco stood red-faced apparently unable to come up with a response.

"I had to," he finally said.

"Had to ask me to leave?"

"Had to fight with him."

"Just tell me why. The real reason. No more bullshit."

"I couldn't…breathe," he admitted reluctantly. "The Weasley twins touching me. I was just trying to get it together. Then he was in here. And I was almost in pieces. And it scared me. I lashed out because I couldn't bear to fall apart in front of him. I didn't know what else to do."

"Come here." Draco came over and sat on my lap. "I won't let anyone hurt you."

"I know, but…"

"But what?"

"It's just so embarrassing. Being weak."

"Ron doesn't have to know any of this."

"What am I supposed to say? I love you, and I'm going to fix this for you. I know I need to apologize to him, but what am I supposed to say?"

"Tell him that you don't like people in your space, you're still pissed that he blabbed to Fred and George, and that you over-reacted. Ron has a temper. He over-reacts all the time."

"Do you know what he was going to say when he didn't finish that sentence?"

"No idea."

"Can you get him, please?"

"Sure."

I went downstairs in search of Ron. He and Hermione were in the study with the door ajar. It sounded like Hermione had just calmed him down. After a quick peek in the other rooms and finding no one, I went back upstairs to get Draco. When we came down, he knocked on the partly open door.

"Come in," Hermione called. Draco entered but gestured that he wanted to go in alone, so I stayed in the hall.

"Trying to make a point?" Ron asked, voice full of attitude.

"Actually, I came to apologize."

"Really?" Ron's shock was evident.

"I still think you were wrong to just walk in, but I behaved poorly, and for that I am sorry."

"You are not as terrible as I thought."

"Neither are you."

"Do you play chess, Malfoy?"

"I do."

"Would you like a game?"

Hermione slipped out of the study. Taking my arm, she led me into the kitchen.

"Do you really think it's a good idea to leave them alone together?" I asked her.

"Yes. They're forging their own way to a truce. They don't need us to interfere."

"Do you know what Ron was going to say upstairs when he said 'I can't believe I almost'?"

"I have no idea. I know he wanted to find you both to apologize, but the way he said it made me think it was something else. He's been kind of odd lately."

"With everything that's going on, I would imagine he's been a little weird. Do you know when we'll have company again?"

"Before Lupin left this morning, he said we should be alone until New Year's Eve. He promised to let us know if someone was coming over."

"What should we do while they're in there?"

"You might not want to hear this," Hermione cringed.

"Out with it."

"I have some ideas about the H-word."

"H-word?"

"Horcruxes," Hermione hissed.

"Why couldn't you just say it? Fear of a name—"

"Only increases fear of the thing itself. I know. I didn't want anyone to hear me."

"Hermione, no one's here."

"Draco doesn't know," Hermione said so quietly I almost didn't catch it.

"I don't care if he finds out."

"Dumbledore said tell no one."

"I trust Draco."

"And I trust Lupin and Tonks and Mr. Weasley, but we haven't told any of them."

"You have a point. Let's go upstairs."

We went up to Hermione's room, figuring no one would walk in on her. _Why is it that girls get way more privacy? We slide down the stairs to the girls' dorm, but Hermione has waltzed into our dorm countless times. So not fair._

She showed me a list she kept under the mattress of places that the Horcruxes might be hidden. I eliminated places Dumbledore had told me about, and Hermione crossed them off the list. We had several places that seemed promising, but no way to get to them. We tabled the discussion when we got hungry. We were both surprised that Ron hadn't hollered at us to make him something to eat. _That boy cannot take care of himself_.

We exchanged surprised expressions when we found the study empty. Hoping they weren't trying to kill each other with pointy knives, I went into the kitchen with Hermione right behind me. What we saw surprised me more than if we'd found a blood spattered room with two mangled bodies.

"Are you two…" Hermione didn't even manage to get the whole sentence out before just staring.

"I think they're trying to…" I didn't manage to finish either.

"Why is Ron splattered with…"

"What is that?"

"Cream. He splattered all over himself. I told him to be more careful," Draco said smugly.

"Shut up. It's my first time," Ron protested.

"You're just angry that you creamed yourself and I didn't."

"Someone explain this," Hermione demanded.

"Since we've given you guys such a headache putting up with us, we thought we would make dinner for you," Ron said sheepishly.

"Yes. And Weasley here said fettuccini would be easy. Until I told him we actually had to _make_ sauce."

"How was I supposed to know? I've never seen Mum do that part."

"I've never seen _anyone_ cook anything."

"Fine, then you finish if you're so smart."

"Um, what is that smell?" I asked, wrinkling my nose.

"That is…I don't know what that is. What did you do, Weasley?"

"You're the genius. You tell me."

"The pasta is burning itself the bottom of the pan. This is what happens when inexperienced Wizards try to cook like Muggles. _I _will finish. Now shoo," Hermione instructed.

Ron and Draco scampered out. I started setting the table for four and made sure that I didn't cross paths with Hermione. I could see Draco standing the hall waiting to be invited back in. Ron came back with a clean shirt and stood in the doorway.

"Are we still exiled?"

"No, and I've salvaged dinner."

We all sat down to eat. Ron and Draco praised Hermione's fettuccini despite the fact that 'salvaged' was practically an overstatement. She rolled her eyes but smiled at them. When she looked over at me for a critique, I merely shrugged. She already knew how it was, there was no point in pointing it out. Ron chucked a roll at me.

"I appreciate your effort at making dinner. And your valiant defense of my cooking honor, Sir Ronald."

"M'lady," Ron said around a mouthful.

"Disgusting. You now lose points for disasterously embarrassing table manners," Draco said haughtily. Ron opened his mouth and gave Draco a long look at his partly-chewed food.

"Ronald," Hermione scolded, "you do that again and you will be done eating."

"But I haven't had thirds yet."

"Done eating. Understood?"

"Yes."

After a few minutes of silent eating (during which Ron scarfed down thirds in case Hermione found any of his chewing offensive), Draco picked up all the plates but Ron's and put them in the sink.

"Did you and Draco talk about whatever you didn't finish saying upstairs during that—disagreement earlier?" I asked.

"No, we didn't."

"We can talk now if you like," Draco offered. Ron put his fork down and sat looking uncomfortable. He kept sneaking glances to my side of the table.

"Do you want me to go?" I asked.

"Not you," he said quietly. _Ah, Hermione_.

"We can talk after we clean up," Draco said.

"You guys go talk; I'll clean."

"Hermione, we'll clean up. We can talk later. No one's going to turn into a pumpkin if we wait."

"Why would someone turn into a pumpkin?"

"It's from a Muggle story, Ron," Hermione said. She left and the three of us cleaned the kitchen.

TBC. Thank you to my friend K, for innocently misusing the phrase 'cream yourself' and inspiring this vignette. Going out of town of a few days. Hope this tides you over.


	34. Chapter 34

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

When the kitchen was spotless (_fine, passably clean_), Draco and I joined Ron at the table where he sat looking apprehensive.

"Go ahead," I said.

"Not in here."

"We're alone, Ron."

"This is a closed door conversation."

Draco rolled his eyes. We all walked into the study. With the door closed, Draco and I sat on the couch. Ron took a chair opposite us.

"Go ahead," I urged.

"You know, maybe this isn't a good place. I mean, how do I know that Hermione's not right outside listening?"

"Hermione is not a Slytherin, Weasley. She wouldn't do that."

"Are you saying you would?"

"Of course I would, but not to you because that would make Harry angry."

"Oh, okay. I mean that's…" Ron trailed off and sat quietly.

"Come on, Ron, out with it."

"Maybe this really isn't such a good idea."

"Weasley, quit stalling."

"I'm not stalling."

"Ron, you kind of are."

"I really shouldn't…"

"Do you want me to leave?" Draco asked.

"What if you and Harry were right?" Ron blurted out. His eyes widened and he looked mortified at his outburst.

"Right about what?"

"What you said when we first got here."

"I said a lot of things when we got here, Weasley. You have to be more specific."

"You're not going to say anything about this to anyone, are you?"

"You might have a big blabber mouth, but I will keep your secrets."

"What did we says that's bothering you, Ron?"

"You said I was afraid that I might catch queer," Ron whispered. "I know I can't catch it, but what if I wake up one morning and find out that I am?"

"Let me get this straight, Weasley," Draco said with a smirk.

"Not funny," Ron snapped.

"You are afraid that you're spontaneously going to like cock?" Draco was clearly taking pleasure in the conversation.

"Well…yes…" Ron admitted.

"I thought you were with Hermione? Last I heard, all your wet dreams were about her."

"But Harry was with Ginny, and now he's with you."

"Harry, do you want to take this one?"

"Not particularly, but I will. I loved Ginny, but I loved her the same way I love Hermione. I couldn't make myself want her that way. I tried. I didn't know why, but I couldn't. But you've been wanking to thoughts of Hermione for years."

"WHAT?"

"Your silencing spells are crap. Everyone in our dorm knows."

"Ugh. Okay, but what if that changes?"

"You don't spontaneously change orientation. Weren't you listening to Harry? He's been gay; he just didn't know it. It's not like he woke up one day and was different."

"How do I know that I'm not secretly gay and just don't know it?"

"Do you ever think about men?"

"No, but Harry didn't. What if I wake up one day like he did and find out that I like men?"

"Ron, I was arguing with you that day to make you go away. I don't think you're going to wake up one day and like men."

"Maybe you don't think that, but you have me scared shitless."

"Weasley, there are two ways to determine right now if you secretly like men. The first one would cause all three of us to spontaneously combust in mortification."

"And the second one?" Ron asked.

"Close your eyes."

"No way, Malfoy."

"I'm not going to do anything to you."

"Ron, I won't let him do anything to you," I said reassuringly. _This is ridiculous_.

"Then I suppose it's fine." Ron put both his hands over his crotch and warily closed his eyes.

"Draco, what are you doing?" I whispered in his ear.

"An experiment."

"The sound of that scares me."

"Weasley, just think about what I'm saying. You don't have to respond. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Have you ever imagined intimately touching another man? Have you thought about what it would be like if instead of Hermione's soft hands on you there was the large, rough palm of another man? Have you ever peeked at anyone in the shower? In the locker room?"

Ron's face was absolutely burning, and Draco looked like he would bust out laughing at any second. I felt like I was in an alternate dimension. I stared at the floor wondering what the hell was happening.

"Do you want to know what it would be like to taste another man? Kiss him before dropping to your knees and taking his cock in your mouth? That's what you'd think about, what you'd dream about, what you'd see when you close your eyes. So, Weasley, verdict?"

Ron didn't answer so I looked up. Draco was casually leaning back looking bored and examining his nails. Ron's eyes were still closed, and his hands were…

"Jesus Christ, Ron! A little decorum please."

Ron's eyes snapped open. He looked confused for a second before he realized. "Oh fuck," he burst out, quickly removing his hands from his lap. Seconds later he realized exactly what we could now see. He turned beet-red.

"Well, I guess that answers that question," Draco said with a snort. I looked away again, this time hoping to be in an alternate dimension.

"Shit…just…oh, fuck…damn it, Malfoy, why the fuck did you do that?"

"I didn't expect you to start groping yourself through your trousers. This was a _thinking_ exercise. You were either supposed to have a colossal sense of relief or an epiphany. And not the kind of epiphany you were working toward."

"This isn't happening."

"At least you know now," I offered weakly, trying to steer the conversation away from him doing…that. _I was not supposed to see that_.

"Great," Ron said bitterly. "Now I get to wait awhile and lose interest in Hermione."

"Do you like her less?" Draco asked.

"Of course not."

"Are you secretly thinking you want her to help you with your little problem? Which, by the way, is still obvious."

"Damn it," Ron sighed defeatedly, putting his hands back in his lap, thankfully this time only hiding and not…moving. "And, yes."

"There's no rule that you can't like both men AND women, Weasley."

"Harry?" Ron looked at me for confirmation.

"It's true, Ron. You can like both. You can be madly in Love with Hermione and be curious about men. This doesn't change anything except now you know."

"I'd rather not know."

"It's a little late for that. You opened this can of worms."

"Worms?"

"Muggle expression. What I mean is, if you didn't want to know, you shouldn't have asked."

"I was hoping for the opposite outcome. I didn't want to know—" Ron gestured wildly "—this. And, oh Merlin, I do not want Hermione to know this."

"I don't think you're giving her enough credit," Draco said, shocking Ron.

"If you breathe one word of this, there will be _five _Weasley boys beating the fuck out of you," Ron threatened.

"I have no intention of telling anyone that I saw you touch yourself," Draco said.

"_We_ have no intention of telling anyone anything. Right, Draco?"

"Right."

"And you might consider talking to the twins."

"Hilarious, Harry. Next you'll be telling me to take out an ad in the _Prophet_."

"Actually, I was serious. It was really good for me to talk to them."

"Can you guys just go away now, please? And forget this ever ever _ever_ happened."

"Go fuck your girlfriend, Weasley. I'm going to go _scourgify_ my mind."

TBC. Sorry for the wait. Unfortunately, the wait will probably be continuing. I'm moving soon, and there are 100 things to do. But I promise promise promise that there will be more.


	35. Chapter 35

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

"Why did you do that?"

"I didn't think he was going to do that."

"So you really thought it would have no effect on him?"

"I actually thought that he was just overreacting and that it would be a lot of fun to make him really uncomfortable."

"You have no idea what you sounded like."

"What do you mean?"

"I had to sit there and picture naked women because your voice made me want to do what Ron did. Gods, when you talk like that…"

"Are you picturing naked women now?"

"No."

"Good, because I'd really like to get back to that moment from earlier," Draco said, moving so his back was against the door. "I love you."

"And I love what you do to me," I said.

"Show me."

I stepped over to him, smiling. I grabbed his hand. I put it between us so he could feel what he does to me and kissed his neck. He _mmm_ed and moved his sandwiched hand from between us and pressed it to the small of my back to pull me closer to him. This time I kissed him on the lips. He hooked a leg around my waist. I felt captured, possessed, and it felt good. I don't think I had ever been that pressed against him while still clothed. He groaned into my mouth, tongue eagerly meeting mine. We went on like that until I thought I would die if I didn't touch his skin.

"Fuck me like this," Draco gasped.

"What?"

"Fuck me. Right here. Like this."

"Can't," I panted.

"Why?"

"I don't think I can hold your weight."

"You a-are," Draco moaned as I pressed him farther into the wall. Sure enough, both his legs were wrapped tightly around my waist. I backed up just enough for him to stand. He kissed me, walking us toward the bed while he undid his trousers. He flopped onto his back, lube already in hand. He kicked his trousers and boxers off and looked at me with pleading eyes.

"I need you."

"I'm trying," I groaned as I struggled with the zipper on my trousers. I finally got it undone, but when I tried to pull my feet out, I lost my balance. I expected some laughter, or at least another demand that I hurry. Draco was quiet. When I picked myself up off the floor, I saw the reason for his silence. In his haste, he was already pushing slick fingers into himself.

"Oh, fuck," I breathed. Watching him set my blood boiling.

"Yes."

His slick hand smeared lube on my cock as I maneuvered him back against the door. I don't know why we picked the door when the wall would suffice. He kept trying to wrap his left leg around my waist, but my shirt was getting in the way. I yanked it over my head and chucked it across the room. I did the same to his for good measure.

He finally got his left leg wrapped around my waist. He kept slipping down when his right leg joined his left. It took both of my hands to lift him high enough to make it work. I couldn't line myself up properly without a third hand, and Draco couldn't reach. I sandwiched him tighter. I couldn't resist giving my cock a few tugs as I moved it into place.

"Please," Draco groaned. "Please, Har—"

I mashed my lips against his as I gave him enough room to slide down onto my cock. His legs tightened around me, and his tongue battled mine. I wanted to move back enough to thrust, but every time I moved, gravity pulled him down. He broke the kiss, gasping.

"Harry, so…so…"

"So what?" I managed to ask. I was struggling under his weight.

"De-eep," he moaned.

I managed to heft him a bit higher. I pinned him enough with my torso to keep him put while I thrust my hips. He clung to me desperately. Draco was panting raggedly. He growled low in his throat with shallow thrusts. My knees were shaking.

"I can't stand much longer," I said.

"Feels so good," Draco whimpered.

He was muttering into my mouth, fingers digging into my shoulder and twisting in my hair. I bit at his lip and moaned every time he slid a bit further down on me. Draco's whole body was clenching around me. With a few more frantic thrusts, I came. Draco swallowed my moan, and my legs gave out. Somehow Draco managed to get his legs back under him when I crumpled to the floor. I didn't bother trying to sit up. Draco knelt down next to me. With an exhausted smile, I watched Draco's slow strokes up and down his shaft. I slid a hand up his thigh. My lazy fingers trailed over the sac nestled between his legs. His hand sped up, and his eyes fell closed.

"Harry. Harry. Harry," Draco chanted. He choked on the fourth as I ghosted my fingers over the head of his cock and he came.

TBC. I know this was really short. I wanted to give you something to tide you over. Starting a new job on Monday. Updates will be more spaced out, but I promise they'll be coming. Shorter, more frequent updates OR longer, spaced-out updates? I will cater to the majority. Thanks to everyone who's sticking with this. I'm trying to make it worth your while.


	36. Chapter 36

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I woke up several times during the night after dreaming that Hermione stormed in yelling "What did you do to Ron?" and hexing me into oblivion. When it was finally morning, I had a pounding headache. I knew I had to somehow fix this mess that Draco had gotten us into, but I had no idea how to go about it. I left Draco still sleeping and headed to breakfast, hoping to find out that things really weren't that bad. Hermione was eating a muffin with one hand and stirring a pot of soup with the other.

"Ron's asleep in Lupin's room," she said. "He was sick last night. He said he was fine, but he looked like he was going to pass out. He argued when I told him he was staying, but you know how I can be."

"Why isn't Mrs. Weasley rampaging around about how her youngest son didn't come home?"

"I sent her an owl. I think she's hoping he'll spend more time here."

"Why?"

"Apparently Ron and Ginny have been having some problems."

"Really? I thought they had bonded when he wasn't speaking to me."

"Actually, I think that just made things worse. With as angry as Ron was, he was mad about you and Draco. And pardon my French, but Ginny was just full of shit. Ron couldn't tell her why he was mad at you, but he also couldn't bring himself to agree with her."

Hermione put down the second half of her muffin and ladled soup into a bowl. I got a spoon from the silverware drawer.

"I'll take it to him. You finish your muffin."

Hermione thanked me before sitting down with her breakfast. I thought about how useless the soup was. Soup couldn't fix Ron's problem. _That's up to me. Crap._ I knocked softly on his door before walking in. There was an obnoxious amount of sunlight streaming in. Ron was sitting up in bed with his eyes closed, muttering to himself.

"Hi," I said. I set the bowl on the dresser.

"Get out."

"Hermione made soup for you," I told him lamely.

"Get out."

"I didn't know Draco was going to do that."

"It doesn't matter if you knew. He did it. And you saw it. So just get out."

"You know if you send me out, Hermione's going to come in."

"Fine. Because she doesn't know. Did you and Draco have fun making fun of me last night?"

"We didn't talk about you."

"Yeah, right," Ron snapped.

"There's nothing wrong with you," I said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

"You're right. Except for the part where there is. Were you not listening last night?"

"Don't you think I know a little bit about spontaneous self discovery?"

"But you're happy with the way things turned out. I don't want to like…that stuff Malfoy said. I love Hermione. I want Hermione. I don't want that to change."

"It doesn't have to change. Have you ever thought about a girl that's _not_ Hermione? Even for a few minutes? Not one that you seriously want, but one you're attracted to?"

"Hypothetically," Ron answered guiltily.

"It's like that. A fleeting thought. And for all you know, maybe you're just curious. Maybe if you went out and kissed a guy you'd find that you don't really like it."

"So you're saying that I can make this go away by kissing a guy?" Ron asked, chewing his lip. He leaned forward and looked at me for two seconds before blushing.

"I didn't mean _me_," I exclaimed.

"Of course you didn't. I didn't think that you did. Never crossed my mind."

"…"

We sat there awkwardly. I knew that's what he'd been thinking, and he knew that I knew. But we were both pretending that I believed his lie. My leaving without his saying anything would be like silently admitting the truth. I cleared my throat.

"Do you want Hermione's soup?"

"I don't really feel like eat— do you hear that?"

"—want him to _what_?" we heard Draco say.

"… heard me."

"You want…them…kiss…"

"Yes."

"You're…with that?"

"Please tell me we did NOT just hear that," Ron said with a horrified expression.

"We did not just hear that."

"Can you say it like you mean it?"

"Not really, no."

"Can you go look?"

"You want me to look? I don't think so. You do it."

"No way."

It didn't matter anymore which of us did it because Hermione came walking right through the door with Draco trailing behind her.

"I didn't do it," Draco said with his hands up.

"Go ahead, Ron. You can kiss Harry," Hermione said.

"What? How? Who said?" Ron spluttered.

"Honestly, Ronald, you don't speak as quietly as you think you do."

"Hello? Anyone want to consult me on this?" I asked.

"I, for one, think it's crazy."

"This might be the first time I agree with Malfoy."

"I third."

"Boys," Hermione said with a shake of her head. "Harry, just kiss him and put us all out of our misery. Draco and I agreed that it's okay with us."

"Hermione agreed for me."

"That's how she is," Ron pointed out.

"And I'm about to agree for the two of you."

I really didn't want to do it. Hermione looked determined. Draco looked resigned. Ron looked absolutely defeated. And Hermione looked really determined. _Hurricane Hermione is at it again_.

"Fine," I whispered.

Ron nodded. Neither of us moved. Draco was smirking at us. Hermione crossed her arms impatiently. Everyone was silent. The next two minutes were counted out by Hermione's impatient foot tapping.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Draco huffed. He strode right across the room and planted one right on Ron's lips. Then he walked right out of the room.

"Well?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, thank Merlin," Ron sighed.

"Good. Now we can act like grown ups, yes?"

"Yes, Hermione," I said. "We can all act like grown ups."

I rolled my eyes and went looking for Draco. I expected to see him out in the hall, but he wasn't anywhere downstairs. I heard water running as I ascended the stairs. Draco was brushing his teeth.

"Don't you think that's a bit dramatic? I mean, you were only touching him for half a second."

Draco spit before answering, "Better safe than sorry."

"Why did you and Hermione think this stupid kissing experiment was a good idea? I didn't mean me."

"I know you didn't," Draco told me. He took my hand and led me into the bedroom. "Hermione figured that a kiss between the two of you would be so awkward that Ron wouldn't think about it anymore."

"Why didn't you ask me?"

"We figured you'd balk and then eventually agree. I didn't want you to have to think about it any more than necessary."

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"Kiss him," I said softly. "No, don't answer. This is stupid."

"You're not jealous, are you?"

"NO. Yes. I mean…Of course not."

"Harry, come sit with me." I joined him on the bed.

"I know this is stupid, Draco. I know you don't want Ron. I know it didn't mean anything. But I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach."

"_You _are the only one I want to kiss."

"I know that."

"Then why the feeling?"

"Don't push me, Draco."

"Why?"

"Because you won't like it."

"Why? Because you think it did mean something?"

"Don't."

"Because you don't trust me?"

"Damnit, Draco, don't fucking push me." I could see my panicked look reflected in his eyes and his sudden expression of realization.

"Okay. Okay. I'll just go make some breakfast." Draco walked out, leaving me sitting alone.

A/N: I'm sorry this update took so long. I've got some serious real-life stuff going on. The next one will probably be a while as well. Thanks for sticking around.


	37. Chapter 37

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

I stared at the wall. I stared at the floor. I stared at the insides of my eyelids. My body felt heavy. I was sorry for what I'd said. He pushed, and I instinctively pushed back. I wished I could have helped myself, could have stopped myself.

_Damaged. Damaged. Damaged._

I paced around the room. _He's right. How can I have that feeling? I know he doesn't want Ron. But I just still feel that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. _Pacing was grating on my nerves. I refolded our clean clothes and neatly stacked our school books. I counted to 100 by fives and then by twos. I tried to name all the bones in my body. _Ribs, tibia, talus, humerus, vertebra, toe…toe is not a bone_.

"99 bottles of beer on the wall," I sang, "99 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 98 bottles of beer on the wall, 98 bottles of beer, take one down, pass it around, 97 bottles of beer on the wall…81 bottles of beer on the wall…66 bottles of beer...take one down…pass it around…53 bottles of beer on the wall…48 bottles of beer on the wall…42 bottles of beer…take one down…pass it around…37 bottles of beer—"

"Harry, what are you singing?" Draco asked as he walked in the door.

"99 bottles of beer on the wall."

"Why?"

"To pass time."

"Time until what?"

"Until you came back."

"I thought you wanted some time alone. That's why I waited."

"That's how I got down to 37 bottles of beer."

"Want to share one of those 37 bottles with me?"

"I'd rather talk."

"Harry, I didn't realize which direction we were going earlier."

"I want to explain."

"I'm not asking you to, but I'm all ears."

"I know you don't want Ron, Draco. I know you don't want him," I sniffled. "It's not about not trusting you. I trust you with everything."

"I know you do. So what's wrong?"

"I still sometimes think that maybe I don't really deserve you and that this is all going to just…"

"Just lead to a happily ever after?" Draco finished for me.

"That's not where I was going."

"It's where you should have been going."

"Why do you do that?"

"Because you don't."

"…"

"You're angry with me," Draco said after a while.

"I'm not."

"You promised not to lie to me."

"I'm not lying. I'm not angry with you. I'm just…I don't know what I am."

Draco took my hand. "Come on, Harry. You can say it."

"How can I say it if I don't know?" I snapped impatiently. _What kind of ridiculousness is this?_

"I know you know because I know."

"If you know so much, why do I have to say anything at all?"

"Harry, please don't fight this. You're just what?

"Damaged," I whispered, "I'm just damaged. And when you finally see what I see, you won't want me anymore. Happy now?"

"Not happy while you're crying."

"Then why did you make me say it?"

"So I could tell you how wrong you are. Harry, you are an amazing person. And when you finally see what I see, you won't say that word again."

Draco reached a hand up to cup my cheek, and I kissed his palm.

"I love you, Harry."

"I love you, too," I said, bringing my lips to his.

He soon nipped at my lips and turned our kiss from sensual to playful. I rolled us further onto the bed and straddled his thighs, pinning his hips in place. He kept trying to arch up for more contact, but it was a futile effort. He bit his lip and looked up at me with those beautiful, pleading eyes.

"Make love to me."

"Anything for you, Draco." I lowered myself so I was flush against him.

"Oh, gods yes," he groaned softly.

"I need you. You make me whole," I whispered in his ear. He gasped his approval as I rubbed my body along his. The friction was driving me crazy. "Naked. Now. Please. Oh, gods, Draco."

He got us both to our feet. We kissed frantically, trying to keep as much lip-to-lip contact as possible while we stripped. It was sloppy and wet, but I craved it. _Needed _ it. Draco knocked three or four things off the night table grasping blindly for the lube. We tumbled onto the bed.

"Hurry," Draco groaned, pouring lube into my hand. Unprepared, it dripped through my fingers. Lube drizzled onto my cock; I shivered. Draco's tongue invaded my mouth while I prepared him. He thrust down on my hand and made pathetic whimpering noises.

"That is the hottest sound I have ever heard," I told him between kisses.

"Harry," Draco moaned.

"I take it back. _That _is the hottest thing I've ever heard." I withdrew my fingers and slicked my cock.

"Wait. I want to…" Draco said. He looked sheepish.

"You want what?" I whispered kindly. I could barely hear the 'ride you' that came out of his mouth. I rolled onto my back in half a heartbeat.

He sighed in relief and pounced. His teeth nipped at my lips, and his knees were tight against my hips. My cock slid along the cleft of his arse with every movement he made. I ran my hands up and down his thighs. He lifted up and held my cock steady so he could slide down on it. The pace he took was agonizing. He slid up and down, up and down, up and down before finally sinking a bit lower. It took him _minutes_ to take all of me, to sit balls pressed against my stomach. Then he didn't move.

"Are you okay, Draco?"

"Yes, this is just different."

He seemed to relax a little. More of his weight was on me. He shifted a bit. I wasn't sure if he was trying to experiment or get comfortable. Draco started actively rocking. It was heart-wrenchingly sexy to see him chew his bottom lip and gasp with each backward rock and to watch his cock bob back and forth in rhythm.

"This is incre-e-edible," I moaned as his muscles tightened around me each time he rose up. I put one hand on his cock. His movements thrust it into my hand.

We were a slick, sliding mess of sweat, lube, and pre-come. The little squelching noise from his thigh unsticking from my sweaty side was surprisingly arousing. Extra lube was dripping down past my balls to my own entrance, almost tickling me with its movement. Pre-come leaked from Draco's cock, coating my fingers.

We smelled like sex. We sounded like sex. And oh my gods I—

"DRACO," I hoarsely tried to holler as orgasm ripped through me. I was uncontrollably thrusting upward and Draco was positively bouncing. He came moments later, collapsing onto me in the aftermath.

TBC.


	38. Chapter 38

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: I would have sworn that somewhere I wrote a disclaimer about Dumbledore's death. I can't find it. So, here it is, what (I thought) I wrote last time, more or less (probably less). Dumbledore died. Sad face and all that. Dealing with it totally clashes with my story line, so it's done, past, and over. [Mostly because in the middle I forgot I needed to kill off Dumbledore]

Draco and I were curled together when a sharp knock at the door woke us. Draco just snorted and rolled over. I sighed and climbed out of bed. _Almost time for school to start. Can't I get a few more days of sleeping? _I threw a shirt on while our unexpected visitor rapped on the door impatiently. I opened it slowly, the light of the hallway burning my tired eyes.

"Sorry to wake you so early, Harry," Mr. Weasley said quickly.

"What time is it?" I asked sleepily.

"A few minutes shy of five. There's something important we must discuss, and we must do it now. Come, come. Downstairs we go."

Mr. Weasley sped down the stairs, not even checking to see if I was behind him. I followed him into the study where Kingsley sat waiting for us.

"We've been working on a something of a sensitive nature," Kingsley began.

"Kingsley, we don't have time for pussy-footing around. Harry, we're hoping you might be able to tell us about horcruxes."

"Ron told you?" I gaped. Ron's mouth was bigger than I expected.

"No, Dumbledore. Ron knows about horcruxes?"

"Yes, and Hermione, too. Dumbledore told me about them and had me help him get one. One of them was killing him."

"We suspected as much," Kingsley admitted sadly. "We need to know everything you know. You-know-who is rallying support faster than before. The horcruxes must be destroyed before the final battle begins."

I started relating all I knew about Voldemort's horcruxes. It seemed like very little when trying to find more, but in the retelling, I realized I knew rather a lot. I explained everything I could remember about Voldemort's past: the orphanage, his mother with her love potion, the cave. I talked about how we got the locket from the Inferi lake. I told them about the diary and the basilisk fang and how the ring had been killing Dumbledore.

"So you don't know how many there are?" Mr. Weasley asked, sounding defeated.

"Six," I replied.

"How do you know that?"

"Dumbledore had me get a memory from Slughorn from when Riddle asked him about horcruxes. Riddle asked about splitting his soul into seven pieces. That makes six horcruxes and one Riddle."

"So you know of three: the locket, the diary, and the ring. And all have been destroyed?"

"The diary in my second year. The ring this year. And the locket was a fake."

"Fake? So the real one is still out there?"

"We're not sure."

"We've found two, a cup and a diadem. We don't know how to destroy them."

"Basilisk venom."

"We know that, Harry, but we don't keep basilisk venom lying around," Kingsley said impatiently.

"There's a basilisk fang in the Chamber of Secrets."

"How do you propose we get it?"

"Go into the chamber."

"How? We don't know where it is."

"And we can't open it," Kingsley added.

"It's in Moaning Myrtle's lavatory. Look for the sink with the faucet that doesn't work. Then you tell it to open in Parseltongue. Hsiehhsieh."

"Shiehsha," Mr. Weasley tried.

"Hahashe," Kingsley slurred.

"Hsiehhsieh. Can't you just make a regular talking letter instead of a Howler? That way all you have to do it open it."

"Yes, yes, of we destroy the cup and the diadem, and we've got one horcrux left."

"Two. The locket was a fake."

"Do you still have it?"

"Of course. Well, I don't. Hermione does."

Mr. Weasley and Kingsley jumped out of their chairs. They made a beeline for the stairs. I called after them, "She won't tell you she has it." I raced after them. I tripped on the too-long leg of my pajama bottoms. By the time I got to the second floor, Hermione's door was being abused in much the same manner as mine had been.

Hermione cracked the door and peeked out. All I could make out was one eye and a tangle of bushy, brown hair.

"Sorry to wake you, Hermione, but we need the locket."

"What locket, Mr. Weasley?" Hermione asked sleepily, innocently not missing a single beat.

"The lake locket," I said, stepping forward. Mr. Weasley and Kingsley faded to the background. "They know. They need it."

"What was the first chess piece lost under the Trapdoor?" _How that girl's mind works!_

"Black knight. Now, the locket?" I moved to step into her room as I spoke.

"You can't come in here," she said with a little squeak.

"And why not?" I asked impatiently. _I just want to go back to bed_.

"I'm in my nightgown," she whispered. I almost laughed at the way she said it.

"I'm in pajamas. I'd like to go back to using them."

I pushed past her, eager to just get it over with. Her sleepy eyes widened. With an indignant harrumph, she crossed her arms over her breasts.

"I'm gay," I sighed. "I don't care what your breasts look like."

She slapped me on the back of the head and shuffled over to her dresser. She pulled the magical lockbox from the second drawer. She hadn't told Ron and me where she'd gotten it, but it took two of the three of us to open it. It took a little finagling to open the stubborn wooden cube, but the locket finally stood out against the white lining.

I took the locket back to Mr. Weasley and Kingsley in the hall. I opened it for them and pulled the note from the inside. The two men seemed to forget about me as they talked and walked down the stairs. Glad to be free, I went back to my room.

I climbed into bed next to Draco, disappointed that my warm spot had grown cold. I spooned against Draco's warm body. I easily slipped back to sleep, dreaming of the last thing I saw before I closed my eyes. Draco's soft, blond hair.

When I woke up, I felt like I had just gone back to sleep. I would have rolled over and gone back to sleep again, but my cock was hard and aching. I groped around for Draco but found only empty bed. I opened my eyes in time to see him dart through the door, towel wrapped around his waist.

"I forgot clean clothes and didn't want to put my pajamas back on," he said sheepishly, "and it's about time you got up."

"Yes, up. Up in more ways than one. Care to help me?"

"Lazy," Draco said with a smirk.

"But your mouth feels so much better than my hand," I whined.

I slithered around in bed to get my pajama bottoms off, knowing that Draco wasn't going to say no to me. I made needy noises as he took his time climbed onto the bed and between my already-spread legs. His hair obscured his face as he bent over.

"Damn it." I squirmed to get away from the torture of his cold hair on my bare skin. Draco ignored my discomfort. The wet of his hair kept my attention from the warmth of his mouth around my cock.

I reached a hand down to sweep his hair up. I held it loosely on the top of his head, following his pace. His hand unexpectedly stroked the skin of my perineum. My eyes shot open. It was a strange sensation. It felt good, so good. And awkward, so awkward. I looked down, thinking somehow that I would be able to see it. I choked a bit on my saliva as I watched my cock disappear into Draco's mouth. His finger moved in rhythm with his tongue. I grabbed my knees and spread them farther apart to give Draco more room. I could barely breathe; it felt so good. He pressed a little harder, and I lost my self-control. My orgasm shot out of nowhere. I thrust up into his mouth. I made a strangled noise when his throat spasmed around the sensitive head of my cock.

I heard him gulp as he sat up. It took me several minutes to get my breathing under control. I reached a hand down to lazily return the favor and found a complete lack of interest.

"It was a long shower," Draco offered up.

BANG. BANG. BANG. The sharp pounding on the door was followed by the brisk yell of "I am opening this door in five seconds."

Draco dove under the blankets and held them up to his neck, hiding all his scars. I was going for my pajama bottoms but changed my mind when I heard 'Three' hollered through the door. I hastily pulled the blankets up. I had barely covered myself when Hermione burst through the door.

"Dress. Pack. Everything," she said.

Draco and I exchanged bewildered looks.

"Now," Hermione insisted. "Just do it. We'll explain later."

With that said, she turned and left. We sat in stunned silence until we heard Hermione's shrill "Get out of that bed." Not even five minutes later, Draco and I were both dressed and completely packed.

Mr. Weasley came and ushered us downstairs. Ron and Hermione were waiting for us with packed trunks. All three looked somber.

"Who died?" I asked quietly. I didn't really want to know; I just wanted to get it over with.

"No one, Harry," Ron said. "Yet."

"Ronald," Hermione chastised.

"Hogwarts is closed," Mr. Weasley told us. "You-know-who is rallying his troops. We have to keep you and knowledge of the you-knows safe until the final battle. We're putting the four of you under a Fidelius charm."

"Grimmauld is already under a Fidelius. Aren't we safe here?" Draco asked.

"I'm afraid not. Too many people have access to you here. I will explain it all when we get there. We're going to 17 Lilac Lane. I'll Apparate you one at a time."

Several obnoxious _Cracks _and one uncomfortable squeeze through a straw later and the five of us stood in an ordinary-looking living room. There were two big armchairs and a sofa. The upholstery, though matching, was rather unattractive. At least they were more comfortable than they appeared.

"I am the Secret Keeper and the only one who knows you're under Fidelius. This is a Muggle house. Aside from Apparating in and out, there is to be no magic of any sort by anyone or I would have sent a house elf with you. Molly tried to insist, but I told her you all were old enough to care for yourselves. She doubted me, so please make me look good. Should you need to contact me, send a letter by Muggle post. Harry, Hermione, I assume you do know how to mail a letter. Is that something Muggle children learn?"

"Yes, Mr. Weasley, we can mail letters," Hermione told him with a smile.

"The address is on the cold thingy in the kitchen. Any questions?"

"Groceries?"

"I'll be bringing supplies in. Do not leave the house. Every time I come, ask me a question only I would know."

With that, he was gone. Three of us stared at each other with a sense of shock while Ron raced upstairs. Draco looked questioningly at me and Hermione.

"To claim a bedroom," Hermione said with an eye-roll. She went to check out the kitchen while I followed Draco around. He'd never seen a Muggle home. He found a closed door past a powder room and a sparsely decorated office. We went through it. Ron may have run up to claim his bedroom of choice, but Draco and I had stumbled upon the real prize: the master bedroom with en suite. Draco first looked in a large closet before moving to the second door which led to the bathroom.

"This I could get used to," I said coming up behind him. I wrapped my arms around his waist. He tilted his head to the left, giving me more room to kiss his neck. He leaned back into my embrace. We simply stood there together. I wasn't sure how I felt about this change. I didn't know if I was supposed to be scared. I was relieved that Draco would be safe and not have to go back to Hogwarts. _If we really are on the cusp of the final battle_…I couldn't finish the thought.

You've reached the end of _Sectumsem_. Don't worry; there's a sequel. The first chapter probably won't be posted for another week or two. It's called _Rhyolite_. Rhyolite is a gemstone.

To everyone who read and reviewed: I appreciate the feedback and the patience. _Rhyolite_ will have some of the things I know you've been asking for. There's a lot of room for suggestions and feedback with _Rhyolite_. Comment away and I'll see what I can do. Much love to all.

*I took this word off a Girl Scout cookie.


	39. Rhyolite 1

Disclaimer: These characters and other things Potter are property of JK Rowling and publishers. No money is being made, and no copyright infringement or disrespect is intended.

A/N: This is first chapter to the _Sectumsem _sequel _Rhyolite_.

Draco had a thousand questions about the house. He and I explored together. I showed him how to use the push-button doorknob locks. I explained the dishwasher in the kitchen and the thermostat in the hall. We carried Hermione's trunk upstairs for her. There were three bedrooms and another bath on the second floor. He was particularly fascinated with the laundry room. He stuck his head in the washer and the dryer before asking what they did. He was appalled by the idea that we would be washing our own clothes. I promised it wasn't difficult, but he was skeptical.

"But how do you _know_ it's not that hard?" Draco pressed.

"I did the laundry at the Dursley's," I said quickly.

"They had you do a lot, didn't they?"

"Laundry, cooking, dishes, mowing the lawn, mopping the floor, cleaning the bathrooms."

I never realized quite how it would feel to admit to Draco just how much I was treated like the house elves that Purebloods felt so much superior to. I kicked myself for thinking of Draco like that. I led him out of the laundry room before he could respond. He excused himself to the restroom. Five seconds later he was back.

"That was fast."

"It's dark in there."

I laughed, and he frowned. I showed him the light switch. He flicked it a few times before closing the door.

Our morning upheaval had left us all with little appetite for breakfast. Ron and Draco hunted unsuccessfully around for a chess set while Hermione and I made sandwiches for lunch when the time came. The ham sandwiches were plain, but at least it wasn't tuna. _Blech. _As usual, Ron asked questions with his mouth full all through the meal, starting with where he could find a chess set and ending with 'How do I open that big black box in the living room?' Hermione and I stared at each other for a few moments before realizing Ron was talking about the television. Hermione merely giggled, but my shocked laughter sent juice out my nose.

"That's disgusting, Harry," Draco complained, scooting his chair away from me even though my juice had gone nowhere near him. To Ron he said, "I told you it doesn't open."

"But you couldn't tell me what it does."

"It's a television," Hermione explained. "You watch it."

"What it do what?"

"It plays TV shows and movies."

"And what, pray tell, are those?"

"They're like photographs. They move, but they also have sound. They don't just focus on one thing, like a picture, though; they tell a story."

"How do Muggles turn it on without magic?"

"They use a clicker. We'll show you this afternoon."

I made Ron load the dishwasher after lunch, but Hermione thought it was 'inefficiently done' so she did it again. Afterward, the four of us settled down in the living room to explore the mysterious wonders of the television. Hermione handed the clicker to Ron, and we all watched while he tried to work it out. First he waved it around. He jabbed it toward the TV and even tried the swish-and-flick of _wingardium leviosa_. He got frustrated and started smacking it against the palm of his other hand. When he finally managed to smack the power button, the television lit up and spouted an obnoxious, loud jingle for Springwater soap.

"You called this thing a clucker? You should have just said it's a Muggle wand."

"Ron, you know Muggles don't have wands."

"Apparently they do."

"Ron, hand the clicker over here." I turned the volume to a reasonable level and skimmed through the channels. I tried to find something that wouldn't be too confusing for our TV virgins. I settled on "Three's Company," figuring there would be fewer gadgets in an older show. Aside from having to explain several Muggle things and a few jokes, the watching went smoothly for the most part. Hermione's tirade about how women on TV seldom wear bras was boring to me and Draco and, well, it got Ron smacked upside the head. Twice. _That boy should learn to keep his mouth shut_.

Mr. Weasley had not stocked the kitchen well, so we had sandwiches again for dinner. Draco and I snuck away while Hermione gave Ron a dishwasher tutorial. Draco and I started out with the intention of unpacking, but as soon as we were ensconced in our bedroom, unpacking went out the window. The confusion and uncertainty of the day burst out of us in a fit of sexual tension.

We stood, facing each other, neither moving. As the agonizing seconds passed, our breathing got heavier and heavier, louder and louder. I licked my dry lips while Draco watched. Time dragged on. We were frozen. Despite everything we'd done together, that moment was fragile. We both knew we were going to snap from stress of the day, but neither knew what exactly that would entail.

Then it broke.

We raced at each other. Fingers tugged at clothing; tongues battled. There was moaning and groaning and the clack of teeth knocking together. We tumbled onto the big bed in a tangle of limbs. I threaded my fingers in his hair, and he wrapped his legs around my waist. It was fierce and _needed_. We clung to each other like the world was ending. After minutes of frantic embracing, the fire subsided.

His legs dropped down to the bed. My hands moved from his hair to cup his face. Our kisses slowed. He licked at my tongue and held me close. His hands wandered from my shoulders down as far as they could reach and back again. I rolled us to the side so that I was no longer squishing him into the mattress. One of his legs slid between mine. The subtle pressure of his thigh against my cock was satisfying. We didn't have to be joined together to be one. Being next to each other was enough. Finally we just lay there, no longer kissing, foreheads pressed together.

"I love you, Draco. More than anything. I don't ever want to leave your side."

"Never."

***All other chapters will be posted under the story title _Rhyolite_


End file.
